The Ways We Hurt
by too many stars to count
Summary: Beast Boy works hard to have the image of team jokster. But what happens when that image starts to shatter? Will the team be able to help him? More importantly will he let them? And what about everyone else's problems? BB/R & R/S Please R&R!
1. Talking

**The Ways We Hurt**

Chapter One

Talking

The Teen Titans weren't in the business of dealing with animal abuse cases. It wasn't something they often came across, as most Super Villains preferred to abuse people, not animals. However the one time they did have to deal with animal abuse, it affected them all more than they could imagine. Especially Beast Boy. It was his breaking point.

Being a changeling Beast Boy's instincts and senses always had a more animalistic quality than most to them. He couldn't watch animal planet any more. The last time he'd tried they had been showing Animal Cops Houston or something similar, and Beast Boy had literally been sick.

For a month after that he couldn't turn into any type of domesticated animal without whimpering and hiding from whom ever was near by. Submissive and scared was not how the Teen Titans were used to Beast Boy, nor was he much help fighting villains. Even after that when he became a dog it was always an underfed, abused dog, never the strong, glossy coated dogs he usually became. After that incident Robin had blocked the channel altogether therefore avoiding any further accidents.

A nutter who called himself Wilderness (imagination among villains was, sadly, on a downward spiral) was using whistles, undetected by human ears, to hurt animals. Animals, including domesticated ones, turned to basic survival instincts. Basic survival instincts meant fighting for your life. Animals were attacking everyone and everything.

The Titans had arrived to find dogs attacking their owners, birds pecking at exposed flesh, squirrels attacking with nuts, even insects biting anyone nearby. They started to attack but Beast Boy stopped them, saying he would try to figure out what was going on first.

His fine tuned ears could tell there was an unusual noise in the air, but while in default form he couldn't say for sure what it was. He turned into a squirrel as they were nearest, and not only found himself not only in a great deal of pain, (he was now hearing the noise full blast) but also hearing the cries and pleas of every squirrel within his hearing. Fighting the instinct to attack he changed back with a strangle cry.

"He's hurting the animals. Don't attack them, they can't help it. T-the bells, their sound causes them pain." Beast Boy could still faintly hear the bells and his animal qualities were crying for him to attack. "They don't know what to do _but_ attack. Get the whistles away from him. Stop him, and the animals will stop as well." Beast Boy covered his ears working to quiet the Beast who was screaming to get out.

Robin, Cyborg, and Starfire stood still, processing the information they had been giving while watching for animals close enough to attack. Raven however stepped forward immediately and started chanting. _"Azarath Metrion Zinthos, Azarath Met-_" Wilderness looked surprised as he found himself cut off by black magic, freeing the animals from the whistles. At once they stopped attacking but many could still be heard crying and whimpering. Beast Boy looked away from them angry and upset. "Robin," Raven never took her eyes off Wilderness "get his whistles and we can arrest him."

"Right. Titans G-" Robin stopped dumbfounded as Beast Boy launched himself past his leader, murder in his eyes.

Raven's magic dropped in surprise and Wilderness amazed he was even doing so, wished she hadn't let it go. Beast Boy was either calling on many animals at once or constantly shifting stopping only long enough to take the shape completely before becoming another animal. It was impossible to tell, he was moving so fast.

Wilderness barely had time to register he was under attack before a hand the size of an ape's had taken his whistles. Next second he was staring into a wolf's face. But no, wait; now he was under an elephant, its foot poised above his chest, lowering slowly to crush him. However, just as Wilderness resigned himself to his death, Raven's magic came out of nowhere surrounding him. Beast Boy's foot no matter how large or how strong couldn't break that magic and they both knew it.

As Beast Boy returned to his normal shape and turned towards his teammates, they saw an ugly look on his face. Robin, keeping his voice calm spoke, "Beast boy, he's been captured. There's no need to kill him, come away from him." Cyborg distinctly heard him mutter "Go to hell." At Wilderness before returning to stand with his team. Slowly, Raven let her energy drop and Wilderness was quickly arrested.

Before anyone could say anything to Beast Boy (not that they knew what to say), he was talking. "Guys, I'll meet you back at the Tower 'kay?" Without waiting for a response he changed into a gull and flew off leaving behind four confused Titans.

"That was- unusual for friend Beast Boy no?" Asked Starfire looking upset. "Did we upset him, or offend him in some way? I know! I will make the cake of chocolate to help improve his feelings."

"Star" Cyborg began, "that's really nice of you but I think it might take more than some cake to cheer BB up. I'm not entirely sure what _is_ wrong though."

"It's obvious" Came Raven's monotone as she lowered her hood to talk with the rest. "Beast Boy's connection to animals is extremely strong. Not only did he have to witness hundreds of animals in pain, but, upon becoming an animal he felt and understood that pain more than we ever could.

"But, I also think this runs deeper. Have any of you noticed that when Beast Boy thinks no one is paying attention it almost like watching a mask fall off? He seems upset and determined to hide it. He's in pain, but I can't say for sure why."

"I noticed," Came Cyborg's voice, low and guilt filled, his human eye turned downwards and his electronic eye seemed to dim. "When ever we played video game or argued over food he didn't seem like he really cared anymore. More like he was doing it because I expected him to. Sure, he would gloat if he won, but it wasn't the same, not as energy filled and crazy. I'm sorry I didn't say anything, I wasn't sure if I should."

"This isn't your fault Cyborg." Robin said determinedly. "None of us spoke up about the changes we noticed in Beast Boy. But now we need to focus on helping him get better. Raven" He said turning his attention the cloaked Titan "would talking to someone help? Getting things out instead of bottling them up?" Raven nodded. "Good. When we get back to the Tower tonight you can talk to him." Raven's head shot up and her eyes were wide with shock. Before she could say anything Starfire spoke up.

"Oh yes friend Raven! You and Beast Boy are, as they say on Earth, adorable! This would be an excellent chance for you two to become closer!" Raven blinked opening her mouth to speak, but merely closed it again.

"Raven." She looked over at Cyborg. "Please do this. He needs someone to talk to, and he trusts you more than any of us." She looked at Cyborg for a moment longer. He looked so sad, not at all like the big brother he so often seemed to her.

"I'll do it. But I'm warning you; I can't make any promises. He has to _want_ my help. It can't just be forced upon him. He needs to accept it."

"I think he wants help Raven. Even if he's not sure how to tell us that." Raven looked towards her leader hoping he was right. Beast Boy needed to talk to someone, hopefully he saw that as well.

While this conversation had been taking place beats Boy had returned to the Tower. Even though he had skipped breakfast that morning and it was well past lunchtime he passed straight through the kitchen into his room.

Digging through the mess on the floor, he'd have to clean it soon or something was bound to start growing again, he found his mp3 player and plugged it into the speakers he had. Putting it on random he lay down on his unmade bed thinking.

He knew the rest of the team must think he was crazy. Seeing so many hurting animals though, and then having to feel that pain, it had just been too much. Beast Boy had been stressed to the breaking point for months now. The reason no one noticed is that he worked hard to keep his mask in place. For months now Beast Boys life had been a carefully planned script.

A few months ago Beast Boy had started having nightmares. Nightmares about all manner of things. The disease he'd contracted as a small boy, having his DNA infused with that of animals in order to save his life, his parents death, being poached for months by scared tribesmen who had once called him family, and losing his second family, the Doom Patrol. But those were old nightmares, old fears and old demons.

Now new ones were adding themselves to the mix. Now he was terrorized by thought of losing control of the Beast, being forced to leave the Titans due to his unstable DNA and losing yet another family. The worse however had been those nightmares where he had told Raven his past, all of it. Once he was finished she had laughed. Her laugh had been cruel and mirthless, the laugh of everyone he had every cared about coming out of her perfect mouth. And her amethyst eyes had been cold and hard, making them look less like hers and more like Terra's. Making him remember the funhouse watching as she betrayed them all. Betrayed him.

He woke from these dreams sobbing and screaming all at once. They're had been a horrible moment a few weeks ago when he had awoken like this and thought he heard a noise. Panicked he could have sworn he heard Raven's door, in the room next to his open. However after waiting a few minutes, sobbing silently and hearing nothing, he put it down as his imagination.

Meanwhile the Titans had returned home and were going about their business. Cyborg started on an upgrade for his sonic cannon and Starfire played with Silke. Raven however had a mission to take care of before talking to Beast Boy; she needed to talk with Robin. Regardless of what he had told Cyborg concerning guilt Raven knew better. She still shared a mind connection with robin and even without it she would have sensed how guilty he felt about Beast Boy.

Robin took being leader of the Titans seriously, and if something went wrong he blamed himself. The last thing Raven needed was more messed up Titans on her hands, and so, she sought out Robin, and soon found herself staring at the neat letters of the nameplate on his door.

Knocking gently she spoke, "Robin?" The door slid open to reveal her leader staring at her in mild concern. As far as he knew Raven had never come knocking on _any_ of the Titans doors, let alone his. "Could we talk for a moment?" The sentence came out somewhat awkwardly and she blushed slightly feeling uncomfortable.

Stepping back Robin allowed her to enter his room and raven looked around curiously. It was how she has always expected Robin's room to look; neat, with everything out of sight and in it's proper place. Nothing in the room showed who Robin was. It would probably surprise some to know that the room was even used regularly. Raven however knew that this came from the amount of time Robin spent in the evidence room, working on a case, or in the training room, working himself into exhaustion until Starfire dragged him out.

"Is something wrong Raven?" Snapped out of her thoughts she looked at him and saw genuine concern on his face. Their mind connection brushed even closer and she caught snatches of his worried thoughts.

"Not- not really" She was trying to choose her words carefully. Phrase it in a way that would force him to listen long enough for her to prove her point. "Robin, I saw the look on your face when we were trying to figure out the best way to help Beast Boy earlier today. What you told Cyborg was true. _None_ of us are responsible for what happened today _or_ what's been going on with him these past few months. Let me finish Robin, please." He closed his mouth glaring and Raven pushed his disagreeing thoughts away from her own. "We didn't have a reason to think anything was wrong with Beast Boy, but now that we do know, we need to help him. Blaming ourselves won't do anything and the important thing is getting through to him right now."

"You don't get it." Robin spat out bitterly. "We may be a team but **I** am responsible for you guys. **I'm** the leader. If something happens to one of you, or you're hurting, it's my job to know about it and help you through it. I failed Beast Boys these past few months. Not only did I not realize he was in pain, but a man was almost _crushed_ to death becuase of it." Robin looked incredibly guilty now. "How do I tell you guys to trust me, if you can't rely on me? If I. Can't. Help. You?" He sat down on his bed staring at the floor.

"Robin, listen to me," Raven spoke as she came to sit next to him on the bed. "We all trust you. With big and small things in our lives. You found all of us when we had no families, no homes, and gave us one. Gave us a family and a home and a purpose. We'll never be able to repay you for that.

"No, you didn't see it, but no one did and you can't beat yourself up over this. If you ever need to talk I am here for you and I'll do what I can. Though, truth be told, you _may_ prefer talking to Starfire instead." Smiling Raven got off the bed. The Boy Wonder nodded and blushed slightly. "Good, I'm gonna go find Beast Boy now."

As Raven left Robin's room however she realized something. Like it or not she already had more than one messed up Titan on her hands. All of them had suffered in some very big ways and they had never really talked about, not together at least. Maybe they needed to. Or maybe, they needed to know that they _could_ talk about it with one another. As this thought struck her Raven changed course with a sigh, now heading towards the common room where Starfire and Cyborg sat. For someone who wasn't particularly big on emotions, she sure was dealing with them a lot lately.

"Starfire. Cyborg." They both looked up at Raven. "Seeing what happened today with Beast Boy made me realize that we all need to talk about things a bit more. It doesn't matter who you talk with, whoever your comfortable with I guess. Just as long as you do talk. If- if you ever wanted to talk to me for some reason, well, I'm willing to listen. Okay?" Raven blushed crimson as both Titans nodded. "I- I'll just go talk to Beast Boy than." Turning around Raven went through the doors trying to not to look too uncomfortable.

Standing outside of the changeling's door Raven remembered the last time she had stood outside this same door.

A few weeks ago she had woken rather suddenly with her powers buzzing. She could not only hear some noise –was that crying? Had someone just screamed? - She could also feel that somebody close by was very upset. Feeling the person's mind a bit more she realized it was Beast Boy. What was wrong that could be making him cry so hard? He was absolutely sobbing. There was nothing for it, she'd have to go and check.

However, as soon as she opened her door not only had the noise stopped but a feeling of embarrassment and shame had come over her. As they weren't connected to what she was doing, it only followed they were Beast Boy's emotions. His hurt, pain and fear were slamming through the closed door.

She raised her hand to knock and stopped. If Beast boy was _this _embarrassed _thinking_ she'd heard him, what would happen if she confronted him about it? Sighing quietly, and not at all sure it was the right thing to do, Raven went back to her room and listened as the sobs started minutes later.

For the rest of the night Raven listened and used her powers feeling what Beast Boy felt. Even after he was asleep again, when Raven was sure his thoughts were coming through only as dreams, the feelings of fear, remorse, guilt and pain continued. Once more he woke up crying but it was much quieter this time and Raven merely sat in bed waiting for it to subside. Beast Boy woke continuously through the night from bad dreams, only to fall asleep once again and awake an hour or so later.

Coming back to where she was Raven raised her hand as she had done two weeks ago. This time there was no choice, she had to know. If she embarrassed him she'd feel bad, but something had to be done. Knocking gently three times she waited. It was then she heard the music that was playing on the other side of the door. The lyrics to 'Smile like you mean it' by The Killers '_Who knew Beast Boy listened to good music?'_ could be heard. Once again raising her hand she knocked hard the sound echoing loudly in the empty hallway. The volume decreased and Beast Boy's face appeared in the doorway.

Raven thought he had been crying from how red his eyes looked but chose not to comment. "Beast Boy," She said gently, "could I uh, come in?" Beast Boy just stared.

'_She wants to come in?'_ Part of his mind said confusedly. _"Well let her in stupid!'_ Replied another part. "Uh… Sure." '_What did I do to piss her off? I haven't eaten much lately so I don't think I could have left tofu out on the counter. Use any of her teabags? Mess up one of her books? She doesn't _look _pissed. But why else would she be here?' _"Did I do something wrong? Again." Raven seemed to snap out of whatever she was thinking. When he met her eyes he stare was piercing.

Her tone however, was gentle and hesitant. "No you didn't do anything. I just wanted to talk to you. See if everything was okay you know?"

"Oh." He said glumly. Beast Boy had been afraid of this. What if they kicked him off the team? He had no family left. He had no where he could go. He could, of course, live as an animal, but the time he had spent being hunted by different tribes in Africa, all of whom believed he was a daemon, made that idea unfavorable. People didn't really care for green animals as he'd discovered. He was going to be abandoned again. It was a nightmare come true.

Raven was never really sure if being an empath was a curse or a gift. In this case however, she'd take whatever she could to try and help Beast Boy. At the moment she could feel the fear and pain that was coming off of him in waves, his eyes beginning to dart around like those of a trapped animal.

Looking around she wasn't surprised to see clothes, CD's, and empty pizza boxes covered the floor. The boy just wasn't neat. The walls were also covered, though this time with posters, magazine clipping and was that a _newspaper_ clipping? She could see the green-blue walls he had asked to be painted peaking out in the few bare spaces still left on the wall.

"Don't be so afraid Beast Boy. We're worried about you, we're not about to commit you." He looked as if he was going to contradict her about ebign afraid so she kept going. "Beast Boy, I'm an empath. Remember?"

"Oh yeah." He said sheepishly. "I've just been kind of out of it lately Rae. You know stressed out. Nothing to worry about. Must have just lost it a bit today. It won't happen again though. I promise."

He put as much happiness into his voice and thoughts as he could but the fear still seeped out. Engulfing everything like a paper towel absorbing a spill. Raven could still feel his fear, and the fact he was trying so hard to hide it, even now when they _knew_ something was wrong, worried her.

'_Should I tell his what I heard a few weeks ago?' _Raven wondered. _What's the worst that can happen? He could feel too embarrassed to ever look at me again. Or he could be more willing to talk._ _Well he never stays embarrassed for long one way or another. It had to be worth a shot._

"Beast Boy." How could she say this without embarrassing him too much? "A few weeks ago I uh-" _Now _Beast Boy looked scared. "heard some noises. They woke me up. I thought someone was crying and when I opened my door I felt how embarrassed and upset you were so I just went back to bed. Obviously though, you're really upset. You can't just bottle things up like this. It isn't good for you. And one way or another things always find a way out. To her immense surprise he laughed.

"Look who's talking about bottling emotions! The Ice Queen herself! No! Rae, I- I didn't mean it like that." He looked down and kept on talking while studying his shoes. "You just really aren't one to talk about bottling things up."

"Exactly." Beast Boy looked up obviously shocked to find himself still in one piece. "If anyone knows about bottling emotions it's me. Which means I know just how unhealthy of a thing it is to do. They'll get out Beast Boy. Emotions always do. I think we saw proof of that today." He looked down blushing. "I'm not trying to embarrass you o make you feel bad. But I am asking you to talk to someone. To one of us. We're worried and want to help. That's all."

"They sent you didn't they?" Raven just stared at Beast Boy confused. "To talk to me Rae. They sent you. Robin and everyone else told you to come and talk to me. You'd never have come here otherwise. Just to see if I was okay." Beast Boy was full-out screaming now and Raven was still to shocked for words. "Someone had to be sent and you were just the sacrificial lamb. Well thanks anyway but I **don't **need pity." He had slowly been edging Raven out of the room, and she was now standing in the hallway as a door slammed in her face. One thought still crowded out the rest though. '_Beast Boy knows the Bible?'_

She thought of knocking but waves of anger were being pushed through the door at her. _Purposely_ pushed through the door at her. Beast Boy was trying to use her powers against her.

Turning around Raven saw Robin's head poke around the corner. "Raven? Was Beast Boy _screaming_?" Putting a finger to her lip Raven ushered Robin out of the hall. Quietly she relayed the conversation to her leader who was looking angrier and angrier every second.

"She _wasn't_ a 'sacrificial lamb'." Robin kicked the bag hanging before him. "She was the one closest to him. The one we though he'd be comfortable with. What the _hell _is going on with that kid lately? This isn't like him. He's usually the nicest person he besides Starfire." With one final kick the punching bag had taken it's last bout of Robin's anger and split; pooling sand onto the training room floor like the bottom half of an hour glass. "Damnit." Robin swept the sand into buckets so as to fix the broken bag later that night.

Beast Boy meanwhile felt terrible. He'd been so scared by what Raven was saying, and knowing that no jokes could save him, he got angry. Or, at least, he tried. He had put as much anger into his thoughts as possible but it hadn't been true anger. What he had said was probably true but she had still come. She was still there. Or she had been.

And what had he done? Purposely shoved an emotion at her. Used her powers _against_ her. Like an enemy. So now, he was alone. Emotionally protected sure, but alone all the same.He was so distracted he barely heard the knock on his door. '_Great' _He thought. '_Not only did I piss her off. But know she's come to tell me off for it._'

With a grim expression Beast Boy resolved himself not to yell back at her and waked to the door. Then an even better thought caught him. He'd say he was sorry before she freaked out on him. Squaring his shoulders he opened the door.

"Rav-" He blinked. "Robin?" Not only was his leader standing outside his door, but he looked pissed. "Is something wrong? Some crazies break out again? Starfire turn you down for a date?" He was doing his best to smile and make jokes but Robin wasn't having any of that.

"We need to talk." Robin had been trying to stay calm though he could feel the anger coursing through him. Taking a few deeps breaths he kept in mind what'd he decided after breaking open the punching bag. '_Something's going on with Beast Boy. And while we'll be there for him and help him, he can't pull this crap on members of the team. It's dangerous._ _I just wish he'd _let_ us care about him._'

'_Well, here goes nothing.'_ Taking a deep breath Robin continued. "Can I come in?" Beast Boy nodded and Robin walked in ignoring the mess. Turning to lean on one of the walls Robin stared straight at beast Boy whose eyes were fixed on a Rilo Kiley poster next to Robin's head. "Beast Boy," Robin paused. "Beast Boy look at me." Even thought he said it in a gentle tone Robin was their leader. He _had_ to look at him. "Thank you."

"Now. What has been going on with you lately? And don't try to deny it. We all knew something was going on before today. The fight with Wilderness just confirmed it. Raven wasn't the 'sacrificial lamb' as you put it. We were concerned and she seemed like the one you'd feel most comfortable with. So that this would be easier for you."

"Whatever it is you need to apologize to Raven." Beast Boy nodded. "Good. And Beast Boy, if you ever need to talk we're all here. Okay?" Robin pushed off the wall he'd been bracing himself agianst. "I need to fix the punching bag so I'll see you later." As he walked out of the room he heard his frined say in a quiet voice "Dude. You broke that thing _again_?" Smiling he grabbed his sewing kit and headed off to the training room.


	2. In Your Own Head

AN: Oh my goodness! Hello to all you. I wanted to thank every person who read or reveiwed this story as well as though who added me to a favorite or alerts list. I honestly expected no one to read this story only to fnd almost 150 people have read it after only two days!

I do have the first 4 chapters completely written and am working on chapter five so I'll try to post quickly. However i am in the midst of exams and don't know how much time I'll have. I will NOT abandon this story however. Ever.

Got a question? Have I messed up terribly? let me know! **Review** or send me a message!  
On with the chapter now!  
Carson

**Chapter 2**

**In Your Own Head**

Raven had gone straight to her room after talking with Robin and she planned on staying there for a while. Regardless of how she had acted when the idea of talking to him was proposed they _were_ right. She was closest to Beast Boy and vice versa. Her and Robin shared a connection, and he would always be and older brother/father figure to her but this was different.

She had always known there was more to Beast Boy than that happy guy face he put on for everyone. Just not the extent of it. They shared something the rest of team didn't now matter how messed up they were collectively.

All of them had lost some, if not all, of their family. Beast Boy and Raven were the only one's to spend large amounts of time without _someone_ there for them though. She knew through accidental glimpse how long Beast Boy had spent as an animal scavenging for anything to eat. She obviously hadn't had copious amounts of contact with other people as a child.

Right now she was upset and her emotions were on the rampage; all of them clamoring for her attention at once, and the result was none of them being heard. She couldn't calm them down from here. She'd have to make the trip to Nevermore.

Sitting herself carefully in the middle of her bed she placed the mirror which served as her portal in front of her. Taking a deep breath she started to chant: _"Azarath Metrion Zinthos Azarath Metrion Zinthos Azarath Met-"_ Suddenly Raven was looking at the nevermore sky as Happy threw herself onto Raven effectively knocking her over.

"I'm sorry Raven!" Happy apologized in her bubbly voice. "It's just so good to see you! You should visit more often! We could hang out and tell stories! Ooh that'd be so much fun!"

"Happy," Raven said as she carefully disentangled herself from the emotion. "It's nice to see you too. Is Wisdom or Knowledge around?" She asked glancing at her surroundings. What was Happy doing in Wisdom's realm? "I needed to talk to them about what's been going on in here lately."

"We're right here Raven." Came Knowledge's voice. Walking behind her was Wisdom who seemed to be smiling knowingly. "I see you finally came. I'll admit I was wondering how long it would take for you to visit us.

"We'll talk, but first we need the others." Turning away from Raven to face the vast planes of Nevermore which led to other sections she spoke. "Sisters, we will meet soon. Come now and join us in Wisdom's realm." Her eyes glowed the same yellow color of her cloak. Raven knew that while Knowledge didn't raise her voice it still echoed through out Nevermore reaching into the other realms.

"Do we really need _everyone_? All I really want to know is why you're all so out of control. Can't you or Wisdom explain that to me?" Small balls of colored energy were appearing as her emotions gathered.

"No Raven. For something as big as this we need everyone to be present. We're only awaiting two more anyway," Looking around Raven tried to see who was missing. Rude, of course, would be late but who else?

"Wait a minute. You're letting Rage out are you? Are you crazy?" Wisdom and Knowledge just looked at her. "Right." She said tonelessly "Sorry."

"Rage" Wisdom began gently knowing Raven needed guidance and not a lecture from Wisdom. "_is_ one of your emotions. You have to learn to accept her as part of yourself. Learn that it's okay to feel her power as long as it doesn't control you."

Raven nodded taking in Wisdom's appearance. She, obviously, had Raven's hair, face, and body but she was different. Wisdom's cloak was a soft, dark maroon and worn looking. Her face was looked young, but the same type of young you associate with children who are already weary of the world around them. It was strong as well, as if anything she had lived through only added to her strength, never taken away from it.

While Knowledge could recite all the facts of Raven's life and teach her things Wisdom dealt with the brunt of Raven's emotional age. All the messy parts of Raven's life over the past 17 years were absorbed by Wisdom. The emotion had spent many days in Knowledge's library learning from memories when Knowledge couldn't. It wearied her, but she was one of Raven's most trusted emotions.

While Raven had been studying Wisdom, Rude had arrived in an orange ball of energy. Shoving her way to the front of the crowd she elbowed Happy in the stomach and stood making faces at everyone else.

In her peripheral vision Raven saw another emotion appearing and braced herself. Taking a deep breath she turned to her right feeling Wisdom's hand rest on her shoulder.

"Why the hell am I here? I was fucking BUSY. You're such a bitch Knowledge. Mother fuc- oh!" Her face, which had been contorted with fury, now held a sickening grin. "look who's here. Bitch." She spat. On her left Raven saw Brave in her green cloak step in front of Guilt who was already cowering. Rage loved to attack Guilt and always reduced the emotion to an even grater level of self-hatred and tears. "Finally came to check up on us huh?" Rage would have continued if Knowledge hadn't cut in.

"Rage" she said marking a spot in her book. "Behave. You know you're only here because you have to be. Other wise you'd still be confined to your own realm."

"Now Sisters." Wisdom said calmly stepping into the center of the circle. "You all know why we are meeting here today, Raven however does not. Would anyone care to explain?" Knowledge's hand shot in the air and at Wisdom's nod she spoke.

"Sisters, we all know Beast Boy's words have always cut us deeper" Here Sorrow nodded pulling out a handkerchief. "or made us happier" Happy bounced on the balls of her feet smiling and giggling like a four-year-old. "than the other Titans. Today we must examine why.

"Beast Boy simply put is our favorite." Raven stared at Knowledge dumbfounded. "He's Rage's favorite to complain about, Happy positively bounces when he's around, even Guilt feels slightly better when he's around." Guilt wearing a cloak that reminded Raven of a forest floor nodded looking, well, guilty. "And Hope," Hope was not present but this was nothing unusual. raven rarely saw even a glimpse of Hope. "well he makes Hope so happy another emotion has joined us today." Raven had been focused completely on Knowledge, now she looked around surprised.

'_Who was missing earlier?'_ Raven started a checklist in her head. '_Happy, Guilt, Rage, Knowledge, Wisdom, Timid, Bravery, Sarcasm, Sorrow, Affection, Rude, Stubborn, Apathy. Isn't that everyone? ' _"No." She hadn't meant to say the word aloud but it escaped her lips. While her emotions turned to stare at her she searched for the new one. Finally, nestled between Brave and Timid, she spotted her. Love.

Raven went into a panic and the shock of it gave Timid a panic attack of her own. As Brave and Affection calmed her Love approached Raven. Her cloak was definitely purple like Affections, but lighter, and Raven could swear other colors kept swirling through the cloak as if all of her emotions were part of this new one. Love never looked away from Raven. She walked slowly as if being careful not to spook her. Only when they were face-to-face did she speak.

"Hello Raven." Love's voice was soft and strong at the same time, as well as absolutely beautiful. Even though she was the youngest of Raven's emotions Raven could tell she and Wisdom would get on wonderfully.

But Raven couldn't let he stay. "What are you doing here? It's dangerous. _You're_ dangerous. I could destroy everyone I care about if you stay. I'm sorry" And Raven did sound and look truly sorry, "but you need to go. Wanting you to stay doesn't make it any safer for you to be here."

"I'm not leaving Raven." Love said calmly, as though this was the reaction she had been expecting. "I belong here and we both know it. He cares about us, though you've given him precious little time to show it. It's not as if his feelings are exactly one sided either.

You've been through so much Raven, but so has he. You know parts of his past, enough certainly to know that there's more then meets the eye. You need love in your life Raven. And not just the love your team gives you, but the love that you share with one person forever. You _need_ someone to soften you up and help you relax. Someone who could use a little help themself. You need Beast Boy."

"I could hurt him. Seriously harm him too, mentally and . . ." Her voice dropped off and she stared at the ground. In a barely audible whisper she finished the sentence. "physically." Raven looked up again at Love her eyes full of pain and determination, as if whatever she had to day was unpleasant but need to be said. "Beast Boy doesn't love me. He doesn't even think I'm attractive. Beast Boy" Tears started to cascade down her face and she reached automatically for her hood before realizing Sorrow and Guilt would give her away. Sure enough she soon saw the two emotions being comforted by Affection and Brave. "Beast Boy" She said again, taking a deep breath to calm herself. "loves Terra. Beautiful, blonde, blue-eyed Terra. I'm only his friend."

Love didn't even seem to be listening. She was smiling and shaking her head as though Raven was a very small very willful child. "If I'm so dangerous, so destructive, why haven't you destroyed anything yet? In the past few months, ever since Beast Boy jumped in front of that bullet for you, your powers have been growing stronger no?" Raven nodded.

She still had nightmares about that day; it still brought quivers of anxiety to her stomach.

"_Okay guys, simple robbery." Robin said. "We'll all go to be safe but I'm expecting them top give up once we get there." And he'd been right – for the most part. Two of the three criminals gave up as soon as they saw the Titans approaching. One of them however was determined to fight it out. They later learned he was a drug addict hours away from starting withdrawal, he needed something and he needed it _now.

_No one knew he had a gun. Raven had started chanting hoping to disarm him quickly and avoid a fight. Taking advantage of the concentration she needed to use her magic he aimed the gun at her stomach. Raven only realized what was happening after he'd shot the gun, far too late to change anything. As the bullet sped towards her she had the impression of green as Beast Boy hurtled into her, effectively saving her from a bullet. But now Beast Boy was clutching at his side, and there was blood, so much blood. The last thing she heard was a buzzing before her world went black._

_Raven's powers poured out of her hands, eyes, and mouth. The Titans were never really sure what happened but when the blinding lights of Raven's powers had died down the gun was a pile of ash and the criminal was unconscious. He stayed that way for three months._

_Raven had awoken a few hours later. "Where's Beast Boy?" She said shooting up too fast, making herself dizzy. Upon realizing she was in the infirmary she started looking for Beast Boy. She spotted him in the bed next to hers apparently sleeping. "Beast Boy." Struggling, her body was tired after her magic using it, she got out of bed. Standing on wobbly legs she started towards his bed just as her teammates walked in._

"_Friend Raven!" Cried Starfire. "You are awake! Oh how wonderful!" As she babbled on Cyborg smiled to her before checking the machines Beast Boy was hooked up too. Robin came up behind Starfire placing a gentle hand on the Tameranian's shoulder effectively silencing her._

"_Raven." She felt her mind connection with Robin brush ever closer and relished the feeling of being close to someone, even mentally. "How are you feeling? Cyborg thought you were just drained but he couldn't tell for sure. Are you okay?"_

"_I'm fine." She was sitting on the bed again not wanting anyone to notice her shaking legs. "How's Beast Boy? Is - is he okay?" She felt sick almost and looked at Cyborg steeling herself._

_Cyborg however was smiling. "Relax Rae, the little grass stain'll be fine." Relief washed through her as all her emotions, even Rage, cheered. "He got lucky, the bullet shot off his hip bone and logged in his appendix. That stopped it from hitting the kidneys or anything else. He should be waking up soon. You can go back to your room tonight as long as everything's looking good. He'll be fine Rae I promise."_

_Raven nodded gratefully and laid back onto her bed which Robin had propped into a sitting position. With a muttered thanks she surveyed the team that surrounded her._ C_yborg, it seemed, wanted to say something. He kept glancing at her and then Robin and Starfire, as if he didn't want this to be a group discussion. Robin seemed to have noticed and ushered Starfire into the kitchen with him to help prepare dinner._

"_What's going on Cyborg?" She asked probing his thoughts enough to get the general idea of what was worrying him. "Beast Boy?" Her eyes went wide. "Cyborg what is it?"_

"_Rae, I didn't want to say anything in front of the others but, when I was stitching him up, I saw something." He paused as though thinking she would say something. When silence greeted him he continued. "He's got . . . scars I guess. All around his hips. You _are_ the closest to him so I wasn't sure if you'd know what they were from."_

" _I'm sorry but I don't. I will keep an eye out on him though okay?" He nodded looking relieved. "Why don't you go recharge? I'll watch him and call your room if there's any problems. Okay?"_

"_Yeah, I guess. I am pretty beat. Call me the second you even think there may be a problem though all right? Even if you aren't sure, call me."_

"_I will." As Cyborg left the infirmary Raven turned to Beast Boy's bed. Pulling a book out of her cloak she began to read._

_Two hours later Raven, now half way through her book, heard a noise. Looking up she saw Beast Boy was twitching. He looked like a dog who was dreaming. His dreams however seemed to have taken a turn for the worse. Gently reaching out to wake him she was amazed when he jumped at her touch._

"_Don't touch me!" He screamed looking around wildly. His eyes widened in shock and pain as he grabbed his side. "What – what happened?" Raven could almost _see _the memories flooding into his eye and she certainly felt them flood into his mind._

_He was having nightmares. Nightmares he hadn't had since joining the Titans. Someone was touching him and he was screaming. And then, with no warning, there was a burning pain in his side. "What – what happened?"_

_But even as the words left his mouth he started to remember. The fight, the gun, and Raven. "Raven." Beast Boy spoke without thinking and saw amethyst eyes grow momentarily before returning to their normal size._

"_Are you okay Raven? What happened? All I can really remember is the fight and there was a shot, then my side hurt and I woke up here. _Why_ does my side hurt?"_

"_Beast Boy." He noticed how sad she looked and started wondering what was under the bandages he could feel wrapped around his stomach resting just above his hips "You pushed me out of that guns way, remember? He – he shot you instead. You took the bullet for me." Seeing Beast Boy grimace and feeling the worries he had about (or that she assumed were about) his injuries she hurried on. "But Cyborg said it hit your appendix and nothing else. You lost the appendix but you'll be up and about in 10 days. Soon as the stitches come out."_

_Relief flooded him. Beast Boy knew Raven would be probing his thoughts and he let her believe his relief was solely about getting back to training. He was actually relieved that Raven was okay and he'd heal soon enough._

"_Beast Boy." He looked up at her smiling slightly. "I just – I wanted to say – I mean –thank you. For knocking me out of the way like that." Was Raven blushing? _Could_ Raven blush?_

"_Raven you don't have to say anything. You would have done the same thing if you'd been in my place. Right?" he said it with such an easy smile and goofy voice Raven couldn't help but smile back._

Raven wouldn't forget that day in a hurry. "Since that day," Love went on. "I have been here. Only recently however have I felt it safe to appear to you."

"Why haven't I felt you or heard you?" Raven asked shakily. "You're one of my emotions, there should have been clues you were here." Her voice made it clear she was trying to convince herself more than anything else.

"Because you wouldn't let me." Love responded simply. "I wasn't allowed to speak as other emotions are. The reason I haven't spoken to you before now was because neither of us was strong enough for it. You weren't strong enough to hear me. And I wasn't strong enough to make you listen. Now though your worry for Beast Boy seems to have helped you listen to and, hopefully, accept me.

"You'll understand better as time goes on Raven. At the moment however you should probably get out of your head and into your body. Beast Boy has been knocking on your door for a good 3 minutes and he doesn't seem ready to give up."

"_What!"_ Muttering to herself about conniving emotion she hurriedly bid all of her emotions good-bye which included another hug from Happy, before slipping back into her body. "We're going to talk later Love." Love just nodded and smiled.

_Knock! Knock! Knock!_

Looking around somewhat wildly Raven got to her feet and walked over to the door. Opening the door and looking down she saw a small green kitten staring at her piteously.


	3. Apologies and Questions

**A/N** Hey guys! Sorry this took so long but after exams I had no time until recently to finish typing this. For future reference regardless of how long updates may be I will always update eventualy.

With that said I'll admit right now I have no idea when I'll get Chapter 4 out, especialy with my current writers block in Chapter 5. Hopefully within a few weeks I'll have it up, if not hang in there with me.

And of course, as always, PLEASE let me know what you think. I'd love to hear it. And thank you for all the reviews and author alerts i've already recieved. They're extremely appreciated.

On with the show!

**Chapter 3**

**Apologies and Questions**

"Meow"

Raven stared at the cat as it slowly stood and crossed the foot of distance between them. Purring it began to wind between her legs. When a rough, small, pink tongue darted to lick an inch above her right ankle she put a stop to it.

"Beast Boy." The cat stopped rubbing against her and looked up, one ear flicking towards her at the sound of his name. "Stop. Please. If you have something to say, _say_ it. Don't _lick_ me. Who knows where your tongue has been?" The cat continued to stare at her for a moment as if concentrating on her, but when after a minute had passed she moved to close the door. Just as her hand reached the latch however there was a blur of green and Beast Boy sat on the floor in font of her.

"Wait!" Beast Boy scrambled up from the floor of the hallway. "Sorry! Sometimes it takes me a minute to translate everything in my head. Meows are a lot simpler than English." He smiled sheepishly at the girl standing before him.

Raven, for her part, continued to stare blankly at him until it became clear she was waiting for him to start talk again. Realizing this Beast Boy rushed to explain himself. "I know I was a total jerk to you earlier, and it wouldn't surprise me if you were still pissed off at me. What I did was totally uncalled for. Using someone's powers against them is the worst thing we could do to one another. I can't even believe I pushed an emotion on you like that. You have a hard enough time with emotions as it is. I messed up big time I know that. Basically," Beast Boy wouldn't look at her. Eyes fixed on the floor it would have been easy to think he had deeply insulted the red carpeting that lined the hallways of Titan's Tower.

She had never noticed how cute Beast Boy was when he was nervous, or how fidgety. One ear was down while the other flicked up every so often in a hopeful type of way. He was jiggling his hand; occasionally bumping into his own leg messing up the rhythm that was being tapped into the floor. Raven found herself overcome with the insane urge to reach out and hug him, quiet all of those moving limbs.

She also realized he had been speaking the entire time. " . . . And no matter how upset or angry I was it's still no excuse for my behavior. I want so badly to tell you I didn't mean to hurt you but I think we both know what a huge lie that would be. I do regret hurting you though; I can't really explain how disgusted I am with myself. You'll probably never want to speak with me again but I had to say this. I'm sorry Rae. Sorry I got so angry and sorry I pushed that at you."

"You weren't angry." Raven said continuing to stare at him. "Or maybe I should say you weren't angry with me." _Now _Beast Boy looked up. Before he could try to deny it she went on. "You were afraid Beast Boy. You're a changeling. Aren't animals supposed _smell_ fear or something?

"You acted angry, and that was what you pushed at me. But everything you did was colored by fear Beast Boy. I accept your apology on the grounds that we talk. You need to talk to someone Beast Boy, even if you can't always see it. This can't keep happening; things can't go on like this. You need to talk about it okay?" Glumly the changeling nodded.

"Why – why don't you come in? We can start talking right now. No offense but I think something may be growing in your room so . . ."

"Again? I thought I got rid of it from last time. Yeah though, sure. As long as you don't mind me coming in that is. I know you love your privacy."

"I don't mind. Come on." Beast Boy followed Raven in her room staring at everything he saw. The last time he'd been in Raven's room he'd been sucked into Nevermore; there hadn't been a lot of time for sight seeing. "Make sure you don't touch anything in here. Especially if it looks interesting."

"Relax Raven I'm not four, don't worry about me." Beast Boy said as he snatched his hand away from a book that seemed to be whispering gently. Taking one last look at the book he studied the rest of Raven's room. It _was_ full of interesting things but in a pack-rat sort of way.

She had a huge bed with ('_Surprise, surprise.'_) purple covers. The carpet and curtain (she only had one window with one curtain covering it) were both an even darker shade of purple. Her window, though her only one, was huge. It stretched the length of her wall and went from ceiling to floor effectively giving her all the light she could need. On the night table next to her bed there was an antique lamp which was the only source of man-made light in the room. The walls were covered in bookshelves that were crammed full of books. There were two other doors in the room, which Beast Boy knew from his own room led to a closet and bathroom respectively.

In one corner of the room nestled on the bottom shelf of the many bookshelves was a small locked box that not only had Raven's magic surrounding it, but was rattling as well. "Raven?" She looked up from where she sat on the floor, leaning against her bed and facing the window. "What's that?" he asked pointing to the box.

"Malchior." She said shortly as Beast Boy grimaced. "Are you going to sit down or stand there?" Making a face Beast Boy plopped down next to her sitting Indian style with his fingers already tapping the floor beside him.

"The only fair way to have this conversation," Raven said shifting slightly to face Beat Boy more "is that you be allowed to ask questions back _and_ that this never leaves my room."

"Like Vegas!" Beast Boy replied smiling. "Okay, though I'm not sure whatever we say shouldn't be told to the team. We can figure that out later though right?"

"Deal." Raven replied. "I'll go first" She was getting straight to business. "Where are the scars on your hips from?" Beast Boy's eyes were saucer sized and his fingers were drumming harder than ever. "Did - did you do them? I mean, well, how did you get them?"

"Raven. They aren't from me. I have a _fear_ of knives." "A fear - " "Of knives yes. Which makes being a vegetarian so much easier than if I ate meat. Claws and teeth are as sharp as I go." His ears were twitching; he was listening to see if anyone was wandering around the hallways. "How'd you know there were even there?"

"Oh. Uhm Cyborg saw them when he was stitching your wound a few months ago. He was concerned but didn't want to ask you about them."

"A few months ago? Oh yeah. _Duh_ the wound _was_ right there. How could I have forgotten? Raven, stop feeling guilty. It was my choice and I don't regret it. Okay?" Raven would have said she didn't feel guilty but there was no point to denying the truth.

"The scars are – they're from my tribe. The one that adopted my family in Africa. After I got my disease, after I turned into this – _thing_ – they tried to 'heal' me. They told me to lie down, that someone would hold me still, and soon enough I'd be better. You'd be amazed how well some of their medicines work so, we gave it a try.

"What we didn't realize was that they'd try to _bleed_ me or something. I was only four and they had knives and were adults. The medicine woman must have cut my hips over 70 times. The tribe members thought it was working because I was turning lighter and lighter. In reality I had just lost a lot of blood. It took my parents a while to convince them to stop."

"Beast Boy" Raven hesitated before pressing on. "Could I see your scars? Just for a minute." He looked scared, his eyes definitely had grown in size. "Please Beast Boy. Just for a minute. I promise." Looking slightly more resolved he nodded and pulled his shirt over his head thankful for the darkness of Raven's room.

Her eyes winded momentarily before she placed a hand of each of Beast Boy's hips. '_He's so skinny. Look at his hipbones they poke out. Lucky boy, he's small. _Raven!_ Focus!'_ She told herself sternly. _You're trying to help him. Not – check him out or something! Azar's sake pay_ attention._'_

Beast Boy meanwhile had noticed that because of how Raven had placed her hands onto his hips and because they were facing each other, she was more or less straddling him. Looking anywhere but Raven he saw the light of her magic in his peripheral vision.

Raven was now completely focused on Beast Boy's hips. As soon as her magic had touched them it turned green. She started but kept going. "Beast Boy" She asked not looking up. "When you're upset, or scared do your hips ever feel sore or tight?" She looked up now to see him nodding his head and staring at her apparently fascinating night table.

"That's what I thought." Letting her magic drop she realized she hadn't moved her hands from his hips, or gotten off his lap. Immediately she backed away. "Your tribe wasn't crazy Beast Boy. They thought the disease was attacking your soul and tried to save you. Everyone's soul is in a different place, yours happens to be in your hips."

"Everyone's?" She nodded. "Where's yours? How can you tell? What about the rest of the team? Where are their souls?"

Slightly taken back at the barrage of questions she took a moment to answer. "My soul is in my fingers. Most people can only tell where their own soul is but my powers allow me to find other peoples soul. Starfire's is in her eyes, Robin's is in his head, and Cyborg's is, everywhere. That's from the accident though. It used to be in his right arm.

Putting his t-shirt back on Beast Boy asked, "Why do you always wear your uniform?" All of the Titans except Raven had taken to wearing everyday clothes while at the tower. Robin _did_ keep his mask on but Beast Boy wasn't stupid enough to ask about that. Raven alone remained steadfast on wearing her uniform.

"I do wear other clothes, you just never seem them." Getting up she walked over to her closet and slid the door open. Among the numerous leotards and cloaks Beast Boy could see jeans, skirts, sweat pants, hoodies, and what (in his opinion) were some very pretty shirts. "See a whole wardrobe. Plenty of which I sleep in and some of which I wear on the days I don't lave my room. I like my uniform. It's who I am Beast Boy."

"No, it's not." He said immediately. "Raven the Teen Titan is _part_ of who you are. But you're more than that too. That uniform Rae, don't let it define you. You're so much more than just a hero. I wish you'd let us see that part of you. It's not like we'd turn you away or something." A few minutes of silence passed before Beast Boy said. "Your turn."

Raven who had been staring out the window turned towards him. The weak rays of sunlight still shining over the bay lit up her pale skin giving it a oragneish hue. "What's your first name?"

"Garfield." He replied turning to look out Raven's window. "But no one's called me that since my parents died." Raven felt he that he was upset but his voice reamined steady. "I'm not sure the Doom Patrol even knew what my real name is. I know Robin's got it somewhere in my file here though."

"Would you mind if people called you Garfield? If we called you Garfield?" Raven blushed as soon as the words left her mouth thankful for the sun's light on her cheeks. '_Why do you even want to call him Garfield?'_ She asked herself. '_You know him as Beast Boy. You _like_ him as Beast Boy!'_

_'Raven.'_ Came a voice in her head. It was soft and gentle yet still alien, telling her it was Love. '_You can't have a real relationship with someone if you can't call them by their real name. You're lucky. You are the _only_ person here who doesn't have to hide behind a fake name.'_

"Raven? Uh – hello? Raven?" Beast Boy gently touching her shoulder made her realize that _he_ was talking to her now, not Love. "Are you okay? I was gonna answer you but your eyes were all glassy and unfocused. Something wrong? Everything okay in Nevermore?" He asked jokingly.

"You remember its name?" She honestly was shocked. Raven would've thought Beast Boy had forgotten.

"Of course." He answered seriously before adding in a joking tone "I mean, you don't get sucked into someone's mind, fight their demon's and almost get stuck there for life then forget the name of the place."

"My emotions were talking to me but it isn't important. Don't worry."

"If you're sure," He said in a singsong voice. "To answer your question though, no. I don't think I'd mind people calling me Garfield. No one outside the team of course. But I wouldn't mind if it were just you guys. Now. My turn."

"It's getting late Beast Boy." To be fair it _was_ now dark outside and obviously nighttime, but it was also obvious Raven was starting to get weary of their game and the questions Beast Boy might start asking.

"You still owe me one more question. Two actually!" He smiled happily. "Two more questions and we'll be done." With a sigh Raven got up and turned on her lamp, a sign of defeat. "Who was your mother and where is she now?" Raven glared at Beast Boy but answered his questions.

"My mother was named Rachel Roth. She came from Azarath and had been royalty there. The people of Azarath are empaths and little else but they can be, and often are, powerful. My mother was one of the most gifted empaths on the planet. Even my deamon blood can't dilute it.

"When she was 17, starting to think of marriage and a future (they only marry a few years younger than here on Earth), Trigon came. He- he raped my mother and left the planet planning to return for his child, for me, on my 7th birthday." Raven's voice shook suspiciously and she was looking out her window not at Beast Boy.

"My mother loved me." Her voice returned to normal and she looked back at Beast Boy. "Regardless of the rape. Regardless of how I came to be,she loved me. And so did our people. Once the Elders learned what my powers could do they took care to help me control them.

"That meant my emotions needed to be contained. I had to learn to exercise control over them. That also meant my mother couldn't see me as often as she would have liked. I got too excited when she was around and, when I was younger, blew things up randomly. It made her angry, but she didn't have a lot of choice. Our visits were always special though. She made sure of that because they were so rare at times.

"A few weeks after my 7th birthday Trigon fulfilled his promise. My people fought for me and they died for me. Including my mother. She was one of the last to be killed. My mother used her powers as an empath as best she could, but he eventually killed her. Empaths can only do so much.

"The few Elders still alive told me he'd come again on my 16th birthday. They said I had to be gone by then. It wasn't cruel really." She said quietly, eyes downcast. "At seven I had enough of a sense of guilt to match Robin's. They let me stay provided I was gone by fifteen, but I left soon after my 13th birthday.

"You saw what happened on my 16th birthday. My people had already suffered enough for me. It wasn't something I could ever have asked of them, especially not a second time. You guys were never supposed to know about my birthday. I figured I'd go into my mind, or leave the planet before hand. Unfortunately that didn't work."

"I'm glad it didn't." Raven looked up confused. "Your plan was to sacrifice yourself right? Well I'm gad it didn't work. _We_ need you here. It would've killed us if you had died. Especially if you died trying to save us. Can you _imagine_ what Robin would have been like?" Raven's face held the ghost of a smile.

Beast Boy looked out her window at the starry sky and calm lake. "Guess our game's done for now. I think there's a few things we should tell the team. I should probably explain those scars to Cyborg, and tell everyone my name. This should be fun." He sighed pulling a face and looking put out.

"Come on." Raven was standing up with her hand extended, looking at him. "We'll do this together Garfield." The shock of hearing someone call him by his real name made him start as he reached for her hand. "I'm sorry Beast Boy!" Raven said hurriedly. "I wasn't trying to make you uncomfortable."

"No. No, Raven. It's – fine. I just wasn't expecting it." Grinning he grabbed her hand pulling himself up. "Let's go." Raven wanted to pull her hood up. To use it, as she had so many times before, to hide her face, which was now faintly red. But he hadn't let go of her hand and she didn't want that to change.

They left her room and headed towards the common room looking anywhere but their still joined hands.


	4. Pizza, Video Games, and Masks

**Author's Note: **Hello again!

Here it is chapter 4! I warn you all now, we are rapidly approaching the point where my updating will be based not on how fast I type, but how I often I get the chance to sit down and write. I have up through chapter 5 finished and am struggling through chapter 6 as you read this. I can't say how long it will be before I finish 6 but 5 should be up soon since I'm on spring vacation.

Does anyone know if I can edit chapters **without** deleting them after they've been posted? I can't figure out a way to go back a fix any random mistakes I've made without taking the chapter down which that would really stink.

Bonus points to anyone who recognizes where I got the name of Beast Boy's tribe from.

I can't think of anything else to say but Happy Easter to those of you who celebrate (may the Easter Bunny always bring you Cadbury eggs). And of course, as always, **please** review. It makes me smile like an idiot everytime one of you takes a moment to let me know what you think.

On with the chapter!

**Chapter 4**

**Pizza, Video Games, and Masks**

_Click._

Wrestling.

_Click._

Made.

_Click._

Music countdown.

_Click._

The Flintstones.

_Cli-_

'_Wait? The Flintstones? Yes!' _Robin settled back into the couth smiling. This had been one of his favorite cartoons as a kid. Batman had even let him watch it on off time. Hell, he'd actually sat down and _watched_ it with him a few times, a small smile on his normally grave face.

Robin had been sitting on the couch in a pair of jeans and a Flaming Lips t-shirt for 15 minutes when he heard the door to the common room slide open. He glanced back long enough to smile a hello at Starfire before turning his eyes back to Fred and Barney.

"Robin?" Starfire floated into the room wearing a shirt that read 'I love nerds!' across the front and some old jeans. It had taken the team a while to make the alien understand that the shirt _wasn't_ talking about candy. "I am - interrupting?"

He took one more quick look at the television before turning it off. "No, of course not Star. Everything okay?" Starfire nodded and the boy wonder smiled again. She sat down next to him and he shifted slightly to face her.

"Could I speak with you Robin?" He touched his mask self consciously as he nodded. "You – trust us correct? You would never believe us of betraying you?" Robin, who by this point was starting to feel somewhat concerned about where this was going, nodded again studying Starfire's all too honest face.

"Why-" Starfire looked down blushing. When she looked back up her face held a slightly shamed and embarrassed look. "Why do you keep your mask on?" Robin was definitely touching his mask now. He looked rather like a small child who was afraid their favorite toy would be taken should they let it go. "We don't wear our uniforms at home, why do you wear your mask?"

The first thing to hit Robin was the word _home_. Starfire thought of the Tower as her _home._ A safe, happy, loving place, and really, that was all Robin had ever wanted the Tower to be. A home to those who lived there.

The next thing to hit him was fear. Robing wasn't afraid often, when he was he did his best to master that fear. But he did rely on his mask. No one could see fear in your eyes if they couldn't even say what color your eyes were to begin with. Robin swallowed nervously.

"Well," He began softly still fingering the edge of his mask. "Since I started living with Batman the only people who have seen me with my mask off have been him or Alfred. _I_ don't really even look at my eyes when I have the mask off anymore. Taking it off would be – uncomfortable."

Gentle fingers were pulling his hands away from his face and into his lap. Starfire's voice was hesitantand soft as she spoke. "May – may I please remove your mask?" They were sitting face-to-face on the couch, knees touching. Robin allowed himself one quick glance around the room before his eyes settled back on Starfire. He nodded so slowly his head barely seemed to be moving; throat suddenly going dry. He tried in vain to remember how to hide the emotions flickering across his eyes but seven years of protection had made him forget.

Slowly Starfire's hands touched the sides of his mask. Robin, whose hands were gripping his knees to prevent himself from stopping her, kept telling himself there was no one else he'd rather let do this. All the same he couldn't help cringing as the corners lifted. Little by little the mask came off and Robin felt cool air touch his skin.

Finally the mask was off, laying discarded on the couch beside them, but Starfire still didn't know what Robin's eyes looked like. He had them tightly shut. It had been instinct reacting and now the teenage hero couldn't force himself to open his eyes again. "Robin." Her voice was barely above a whisper. "Please, open your eyes."

With an act of will that showed just how disciplined his mind and body really were he opened his eyes and found himself staring into glowing green ones. _'Things look brighter with my mask off. More real. Her _eyes_ look more real.' _

With a jolt he realized it had been weeks since the mask had last come off. He'd forgotten to remove it. Something that had been happening more and more frequently, as the teenager was often too distracted to think of anything but crime, sleep, and his team. Robin ran a trembling hand over his face feeling the scar he'd gotten from falling when he'd first taught himself to flip backwards while hanging upside down. It was exactly where his nose and forehead met, a little crease that was nearly impossible to see if you weren't looking for it.

Starfire smiled and touched his face gently. He moved towards her hand unconciously. His eyes were a startling blue. Strong and guarded- full of unconscious love. Just like Robin. He closed his eyes and her fingers carefully ran over the closed lids, watching long eyelashes flutter beneath her fingers. "I was hoping you'd let me see your eyes."

"Why?" His voice sounded strange; trembley, not at all the strong, confident, knowing voice everyone was used to.

"Because otherwise I couldn't do this." Closing her eyes she leaned in gently placing her lips onto his. As they broke apart he smiled and ran a tentative hand through her hair.

Raven chose this moment to open the door to the common room.

Seeing Robin's unmasked eyes she covered her own and pushed Beast Boy back into the hallway as the door shut with a neat click. Cheeks blazing red she called out "Sorry! Sorry Robin!" It felt as though she'd seen something indecent, not just his eyes. Covering her flaming face with her hands she slid down the wall trying to calm Embarrassment and Shame, both of whom were on the verge of tears.

Beast Boy sat on the floor in front of Raven trying to pull her hands away from her face. "Rae? What was going on in there? Should I go in? Is someone hurt?" Beast Boy kept shooting puzzled looks at the door hearing muffled voices from behind it. Standing up he walked over to the door thinking to open it and see what was going on. Immediately Raven spoke.

"No!" She looked up. "Don't open the door. I – trust me Garfield."

"Raven." Robin's voice, thankfully back to normal, came through the closed door. "It's okay, Come on in. Don't worry." With a very puzzled Beast Boy trailing behind her Raven walked through the door. Stealing a quick glance at Robin she saw with relief his mask was back in place.

"Robin I'm so sorry. I know you don't – I mean I obviously wasn't supposed to –sorry." Raven's cheeks were still on fire; so were Robin's.

"Raven." Robin was trying very hard to cover his embarrassment. Every time she looked at him all she saw were blue eyes widened in surprise. "D – don't worry about it. Obviously you didn't mean to. Really, it was just my eyes."

Now Raven saw forest green eyes widen in surprise as Beast Boy made the connection. He couldn't help the involuntary glance towards Robin's mask that followed. "_Dude._ You took your mask off? _Why?"_ Beast Boy's friendly, if inquisitive, tone eased Raven's glare but did nothing for the other boy's embarrassment.

"Because, I asked him to." Said Starfire. "I couldn't kiss a boy whose eyes I'd never seen. Once I saw his eyes though I knew." She smiled at the boy sitting next to her. "And I could kiss him." She said all of this in a very calm, mater-of-fact tone as though she had no idea the magnitude of it all. Starfire was intelligent though. Her hope was that she could ease Robin's embarrassment, and stall questions she knew were coming.

Raven had grabbed onto Beast Boy's had once again when they entered the common room to face Robin. She squeezed it now in a silent warning to behave. There was nothing to it though. He just couldn't keep himself quiet. "Can I see your eyes?" His face darkened but he didn't look away. Breaking into a smile he amended his own thought. "Not that I want to kiss you or anything."

Robin wasn't laughing though. He'd always known it would come to this eventually. His team gave him unwavering trust and he couldn't even show them his eyes. It may make him uncomfortable but the thought of his team thinking he didn't trust them was far worse. They deserved a show of that trust, even when they weren't really asking for one (Beast Boy, as always, was the exception). This was his greatest show of trust.

"Yes. Yeah, I'll take my mask off. But it's gonna have to wait until Cyborg gets home. He went to get pizza for dinner and I'm not going to do this more than once."

"Robin. I wasn't trying to force you to- " It came out awkwardly.

"I know Beast Boy." Robin cut across him gently. "Starfire should have been the first, I'm glad she was. But I trust you guys too." It was just as awkward but Robin meant what he said.

"Okay. Uhm you wanna play _Death Race IV_ until Cyborg gets back?" The two boys were soon engaged in epic battle of cars on the television (at least that was how Beast Boy would later described it to Cyborg). The two girls watch from a safe distance chatting quietly.

"You were holding Beast Boy's hand friend! Are you two 'going out' as they call in on Earth?" Starfire tried to keep her voice down but the occasional squeal punctured her whispers.

"_You_ kissed Robin." Raven replied blushing. "Can we discuss this later tonight or something?" She requested quietly. "When the boys _aren't_ around."

"Oh yes good friend! You can stay in my room tonight. A sleepover! Oh we will consume treats of high sugar and engage in the girl talk! It will be fantastic Raven!" Her eyes grew even bigger and she was definitely squealing now. "I will be able to see your pajamas!"

Raven flinched at the idea of anyone seeing her pajamas but nodded. A lot had taken place today and even after they talked as a team and a family there would be more to say. She also knew that once Starfire decided they should have a sleepover, one way or another they would _have_ that sleepover.

She could hear a voice that sounded suspiciously like Wisdom telling her to take her own advice as well. To talk with her teammates, with her _family_.

"Pizza!" Half an hour passed before Cyborg came home from the local Pizza place. He could tell from a glance something had happened but decided his teammates would fill him in. "So we've got one meat lovers, one vegetarian supreme, and one half cheese-half mustard for sauce. Dig in everyone!"

"Why don't we eat around the table in the common room?" Robin suggested as he and Beast Boy put the video game away. The rest of the team nodded their agreement and soon the floor surrounding the table was covered in couch cushions.

"I've got plates and utensils." Raven floated towards the cabinets opening them telepathically on her way. Starfire jumped up to get drinks and cups while the boys settled on the cushions. In a few minutes everyone was happily munching away.

"Sooo…" Cyborg said as everyone was finishing their meal. Beast Boy had morphed into a small bird and was pecking at small crumbs on his plate, something he always did once finished eating regardless of where they were. "Anyone gonna to tell me what exactly happened while I was gone?" Beast Boy morphed back into default form and sat next to Raven looking nervous.

Robin, looking a little sick, started. "Starfire and I were sitting in the common room talking and she uhm" He broke off turning red. Starfire was about to start talking but Robin took hold of her hand smiling. "I'll tell them Star. It's okay." Still holding her hand he continued. "Starfire asked me to take off my mask. She wanted to see my eyes." He swallowed convulsively. "Raven walked into the common room and saw me with my mask off."

Cyborg was flat out gaping. "Your mask. _You_ took off your _mask_?" He seemed dumb struck. "Here I was thinking you _slept_ in that thing man." Robin turned a brilliant shade of red and Cyborg broke out into a grin. "Seriously man? You slept in it? Dude. Come on." He shook his head, plainly amused. "That all?"

"Well, no. I've decided when I'm at – home. With you guys. Taking off my mask wouldn't be a bad thing. I wear normal clothes, it's just –silly– to wear the mask when I'm here."

Squeezing Starfire's hand one more time he took a deep breath before letting go and slowly touching the edges of his mask. Trembling slightly he carefully and slowly removed his mask. Once again though he couldn't bring himself to open his eyes. Gentle fingers touched his chin tuning his head towards Starfire. She placed a gentle kiss on his lips. Moving slightly away, she moved her hand to his cheek. "Robin. Open your eyes. Just look at me."

Hesitantly two blue eyes crept open. Relieved to find himself staring into familiar green ones he gently traced Starfire's face with his finger. Remembering the rest of the team his eyes found Raven first (having already seen his eyes she was the easiest to look at). He then slid them over his next two friends before returning to the safe haven offered by Starfire.

"I guess it's been a big day here. Especially considering I was gone less than two hours." Cyborg was smirking slightly.

"That's not really all." Beast Boy grabbed Raven's hand and was relieved when she held on tightly. "Raven and I have been talking for the past few hours. There are a few things you guys should probably know.

"Cyborg when I got hurt a few months ago you were the one who patched me up. It never occurred to me that you'd've seen the scars on my hips." Glancing up he was surprised to find startlingly blue eyes narrowed at him. Obviously Robin was keen on hearing about whatever had happened to his teammate. _'He's even scarier when you can see his eyes. I wonder if Batman's the same. bet he is.'_ Thought Beast Boy as he met that stern, unblinking stare.

"When I lived in Africa with my family a tribe adopted us. The Undabelli tribe actually. Anyway when I got –sick- the tribe wanted to help me. Our medicine woman decided the sickness was attacking my soul.

"According to Raven everyone's soul is in a different place. Mine is in my hips and the medicine woman figured that out. So, they started making cuts on my hips. I got paler –from blood loss- and they made more and more cuts thinking they were helping. My parents finally got them to stop, but by then I already had over 100 cuts on my hips."

The team continued to talk for a few hours about what Raven and Beast Boy had discussed, ending with names.

"I'm not sure if anyone but Robin knows this but my real name is Garfield. I think I'd actually like being called by my name, it's been a long time since anyone has." Beast Boy looked down blushing. "Not by anyone outside the Tower but. . ."

"That is a wondrous idea Bea- Garfield!" Squealed Starfire. "We should all use our first names to address one another while at home. I do not think you would be able to pronounce mine though. . . I know! My father occasionally called me 'Kory'. That can be my name!"

Robin smiled at the alien sitting next to him. "I think that's a great idea Kory. Raven Cyborg? What do you guys think?" Cyborg nodded and Raven just shrugged she had no other name to use.

"Okay then. My name is Dick. . ." He was relatively relived when Garfield didn't snicker. Maybe sharing your name with an overweight cat made you a tad more sympathetic.

"Mine's Victor." Cyborg said from the couch. "My parents called me Vic but" He shrugged. "It doesn't really matter."

"And I'm still Raven." Said the half-daemon smiling from her spot next to Garfield. He squeezed her hand, a gesture that did not go unnoticed by their teammates. Victor and Dick exchanged glances while Kory barely managed to suppress a squeal.

"Guys." Dick was looking at his watch. "It's 11, we've been talking for a few hours. I've got a 5 a.m. run scheduled for tomorrow so I'm going to bed. 'Night Kory." He leaned down and kissed her softly. He straightened with only a slight blush on his face. "'Night guys. Don't be too loud if you stay up. "

"Raven and I are going to have a sleepover friends so we will see you tomorrow!" Before Raven knew what was going on she found her hand being pulled out of Garfield's. She barely had time to call "Good night" to the boys before Kory had pulled her through the door and into the hallway outside the common room.

Victor and Garfield were left staring at each other in a not altogether easy silence. "So." Vic said. "You and Raven huh?" He couldn't help but grin, especially when his best friend turned an interesting shade of dark green. "Took long enough." Laughing at Garfield's indignant sputter he continued. "I'm not blind dude."

"We aren't even officially together." Garfield said piling dishes into the sink and throwing out the used napkins. "I was gonna talk to her tonight but Kory-"

"Couldn't contain herself any longer? You can talk to her tomorrow Gar, she isn't going anywhere. Until then, what'd to you say to some _Death Race IV_?"

"You know it! Dude I unlocked a secret course it's awesome! There are all these new features you can add to your car once you unlock it to. My car has flame throwers on the back now!" After putting the rest of the couch cushions in their proper place Garfield and Victor settled down for a night of gaming.

At the same time Raven was pulling on her pajamas slightly wary of the night ahead. Her pajamas were simple: a dark gray cami and black yoga pants. She was a little self conscious of the scars left from her 16th birthday but figured Kory really wouldn't care.

Thankful Kory's room was diagonally across the hall from hers she grabbed a pillow and padded out into the hallway.

_Knock!_

_Knock!_

"Friend Raven!" Kory's pajamas were much as Raven had expected. A pink tank top and pink pants with what looked like little smiling cats on them. "Come in! Come in! Tonight will be so much fun!"


	5. What's Going On?

**A/N: I'm so sorry guys. I know it's been almost 2 months but it took forever for me to get the conversation between Affection and Raven to sound the way I need it to. I have chapter 6 already written though (13 notebook pages!) and working on chapter 7. school almost over so I swear I'll be getting these out sooner.**

**I also relaized while reading some comics that I had been spelling Star's name 'Kori' instead of 'Kory' that's been fixed and the name will be spelled correctly from here on out. I've also updated my profile to include the ages of all the titans along with my timeline of major event Raven's gone through with the Titans.**

**Read and tell me what you think! Review please :D**

**On with the Chapter.**

**Chapter 5**

**What's Going On?**

Taking a deep breath Raven walked into Kory's room her eyes widening at the brightness. Pink walls and a purple bed piled with pink and purple pillows surrounded her. There were also a shocking number of posters on the walls most of which featured puppies or kittens and one (which Raven could only guess was custom made) that held an extremely large picture of mustard.

"Oh friend this will be so much fun! I have chocolate and the popped corn as well as surgery drinks that _bubble_! We have so much to talk about. Not only Dick and myself but you and friend Garfield as well. I am so happy for you!"

"Star- Kory" Raven said with the ghost of a smile on her lips, "calm down. Garfield and I aren't even really together. He hasn't asked me out and we didn't kiss or anything." '_Unlike some people I can think of.'_ She thought but did not say. "He was holding my hand because I was freaked out. Seeing Dick without his mask wasn't something I ever thought would happen.

'_Raven.' _

'_Damnit Love. What do you want?' _

'_You know what I want. I _want_ you to stop lying to yourself. I _want_ you to admit you like Garfield. And I _want_ you to admit he likes you back. _That's_ what I _want _Raven. _

"But friend Raven!" It was such a cheery confident voice Raven wondered if Kory was channeling Happy. "I am sure friend Garfield likes you in a way that is more than friendly!" Kory smiled, if possible, even more confidently. "And I know you feel similarly towards him."

"Kory -," Raven began. She _wanted_ to tell her friend she was being silly. That people didn't fall in love with cold-hearted half-demons but Love wouldn't let her. "maybe you're right."

'_Love! Calm down and _stop_ messing with what I'm saying._'

'_Than maybe you should just say it yourself.' _

'_Yeah Raven go for it!' _

'_Brave, stay out of this.' _

'_Sorry.' _

It didn't matter if she wanted to listen or not, they were her emotions. And right now they were all rooting for her to be honest with her best friend. _'Fine! Fine! Just _shut up_ okay?'_

"_Honestly_ Kory, I'm - confused. I – well." She sighed.

'_Just take a deep breath and let it out!' _

'_Brave!' _

'_Sorry. . .' _

"I do like Garfield as more than a friend. _But_" She hurried on ignoring Kory's squeals. If she didn't say this now her emotions would stop her later. "I don't know if he likes me back. And I'm part demon! For Azar's sake it can't be safe for him to date me. My emotions could go haywire in a relationship!"

Her emotions flared up in outrage with Love being the loudest of all. _'RAVEN ROTH! You know that isn't true! For goodness sake _listen_ to Brave, Wisdom, Knowledge, and myself. Not Timid and Guilt. Poor dears _worry_ too much.'_

"Raven." Kory looked hesitant but kept going "when you first discovered Malchior." Raven flinched slightly at the name and felt her emotions do the same. "The control you had on your emotions seemed to – grow. Would not the same thing happen if you entered a relationship with Garfield? Would your control not be greater than ever before because the love is true?"

'_Smart girl.'_ Love said in the forefront of Raven's mind. _'Maybe you should _listen_ to her. Hmm?' _

'_Love, be quiet. For the last time: I'll handle it.' _

'_Then do so. I dislike being ignored.' _

"According to my emotions" Raven put the slightest stress onto the word as if to suggest her emotions weren't _always_ to be trusted. "You're right. Love would only serve to control my powers, not aggravate them. But what they _don't_ mention is rejection. Because they know if Garfield was to ever reject me my powers could easily go haywire. I could destroy our home if we broke up Kory!"

"Rave." Kory looked confused. "Isn't love worth it? I mean I do not think friend Dick will hurt me but, if he does, at least we would have loved one another. There aren't many people we can share that feeling with. Should we not take advantage of them all until we find one who – lasts?"

Raven _felt_ it click. The small shift in consciousness meaning Love had won. She would stay. Love, of course, accepted the win gracefully smiling into Raven's subconscious before wandering away with Wisdom. "You're right Kory." Smiling Raven sat on the bed blushing. "I still don't know if he likes me though."

"Friend if Garfield's blushing when you walked into the common room was any indicator, he likes you very much. I do not know how your emotions talk with you but I believe you should listen to them. They know you well."

Raven privately marveled at her friend's astuteness as she nodded her understanding. She'd had enough of talking about herself though. Kory wasn't bringing up her _own_ love life very much.

"So Kory. I see you and Dick have – connected shall we say?" Kory instantly blushed dark against her Tameranian skin and started playing with a stuffed cat that lay on the bed. "How did you get him to take his mask off? I had to go in his _memories_ and he still asked me to avoid looking at his eyes. What did you say to him?"

"I merely asked." Kory said simply. "I am not always very current with Earth customs but I do not believe it is common for humans to kiss one another if they have not seen the other persons face?" Deciding some topics were best left for another day Raven nodded. "On my planet kissing is not important the way it is here. But we do show love and I could not do so if I couldn't see Dick's eyes! How would I ever describe him to anyone on Tameran? Back home the eyes are the _most_ important physical feature. I know men here value –_other­- _things" Raven winced slightly. "But _I_ value eyes.

"So when he was watching television, and no one else was there –not that I am at all angry with you friend Raven! - I asked if he would please show me his eyes. I do believe it was the only time I have seen Dick look scared. He consented though and allowed me to remove his mask.

"I will confess to you Raven. I have liked Dick since I first met him. Kissing may not be important on my planet but that does not mean I dislike it. Ever since I kissed Dick soon after landing on Earth to learn English I have liked it. Or at least, I have liked kissing with him.

"But I do worry. He is so – serious. Catching criminals is important to him. _Very_ important. He puts the safety of others before everything else. Including his personal life. How will a relationship work? I _am_ willing to take the risk- for I'm in love with him! And love is one of the most glorious emotions a person can feel. - but I am also afraid Raven.

"I – I fear Dick will not find me attractive when compared to Earth women. You must admit I look different from girls here. . ." Her voice trailed off as she studied the bedspread.

Raven stared at her best friend unsure of what to say. The first thing that popped into her mind ("Are you _retarded_ or something?") didn't seem appropriate. Yes, Kory looked different than earth women. In _good_ ways. She was unusually tall, with a toned body, fiery hair, and amazingly bright green eyes. Of course she was pretty. She was adorable for Azar's sake!

"Kory." Her friend looked up wary but alert. "_Of course_ Dick thinks you're pretty. Have you ever heard of the Earth term 'Amazon'?" Kory shook her head. "It's a name for a group of women – Wonder Woman's people actually – who are both amazingly beautiful _and _strong. Kind oflike_ you._

"Don't be ridiculous, Dick thinks you're very pretty okay? Trust me on this." Kory nodded looking unsure but hopeful. Raven knew she'd be fine though. Kory trusted her friends above all else.

Kory fell asleep soon after that but Raven sat up considering her friend. She knew part of being a Titan included a messed up past but she'd never given much thought to Kory's.

Obviously the Titans all knew there were some issues with her sister, but what about the rest of her family? She been a princess once, and hadn't she mentioned a brother? Where was the rest of her family? And what about the powers she and her sister shared? No one else on her planet seemed to have all the powers she and Blackfire did. _Did_ anyone else have them? Did her brother? Wolffire? Wi- Wildfire! _That _was his name. As far as Raven knew Kory's family had no idea where he even was. He'd be almost 13 if Raven was remembering correctly.

It wasn't long after that Raven drifted off to sleep. Even as she felt herself slipping into her dreams she heard a voice calling her to Nevermore. Unconsciously she obeyed and her mind drifted away from dreams and into the deepest realms of her mind.

Raven had been pulled into Nevermore while sleeping before. And while her emotion only did it with good reason she still awoke tired and never feeling fully rested. Resigning herself to the fact she would need to go to bed early he next night she landed gently in Affections realm.

She hadn't visited Affection for more than a few quick sparse minutes since Malchior. The emotion felt badly about the part she had played and Raven was wary of her most of the time.

Hazarding a guess at what she was doing there Raven looked for Love expecting the emotion to be nearby. What she wanted Raven couldn't imagine. She'd gotten acceptance, what else did she want? Raven was beginning to notice that while she'd been in Nevermore for several minutes none of her emotions seemed to be close by.

"Hello?" Her voice seemed muffled by the coziness of Affections domain. "You guys called me here, what do you need?" Once again silence greeted her. Sighing she began to look around taking a few steps forward.

Turning to look over the lake that was situated in Affection's home she saw movement out of the corner of her eye. Love and Brave were coaxing Affection out of the woods towards Raven. Every so often Affection would look back as if she wanted to leave but Love and Brave just pushed her along.

_What_ was going on here? Raven was usually afraid of her emotions, not the other way around. And here was Affection acting like Timid. Love glanced to her right and nodded. When Raven followed her gaze she saw Hope, the hardest of her emotions to locate, standing a ways off.

Raven immediately started towards her but Hope backed up a little and shook her head smiling. Raven nodded and felt Hope's energy start to effect her. She wasn't worried anymore; things would work themselves out. And everything would be fine.

Hope had a white leotard and cloak, which pooled around her feet. While she knew Wisdom and Knowledge talked with Hope often and her other emotions saw her on occasion Raven herself rarely got a glimpse of Hope on her trips to Nevermore. She'd never even visited her realm thought it was somewhere close by. She just wasn't exactly sure where.

Hope disappeared in a ball of white light as Brave and Love neared pulling Affection behind them. Raven just couldn't understand why one of her emotions would be so afraid, and of her no less. She wasn't Timid or Shame. This wasn't how Affection behaved normally.

"Love- what?" Raven stopped unsure of what to even ask. She opened her mouth and tried again. "What's wrong with her?" Less than a foot away from her Affection had her head down and was occasionally trying to pull away from Brave who was standing behind her, hands placed firmly on Affection's shoulders.

Love sighed rubbing her temples. Tired as she looked there was a small smile on her face when she looked at Raven. Glancing shortly at Brave (who tightened her grip on Affection before nodding) she motioned Raven a few feet away.

Raven felt, for what may have been the first time, a need to stay near Affection but she followed Love. "What the _hell_?" Raven asked in a strangled whisper. "She's never been like this before. Even after Malchior." Affection started violently though Raven wasn't sure how she'd heard the name. Any emotion but Brave would be sporting a bloody nose right now. Brave's grip merely tightened once again as Affection fought with renewed vigor.

"Love" Raven growled. "Please explain what's going on with her. I wasn't aware Affection could even _act_ this way. Honestly I thought she'd be –bubblier- than normal. Not – _whatever _she currently is."

Love sighed again shaking her head. "Affection." Both of their eyes darted towards the still struggling emotion. "Isn't cooperating shall we say."

"What do _mean _isn't cooperating? She's Affection. Her entire point is to be my affectionate side. How can she _not_ show Affection?" Raven's voice was becoming more and more upset by the second. She clearly did not like this at all.

"We aren't sure." Love answered honestly. "As far as we know nothing like this has ever happened before. Knowledge and Wisdom are both in Knowledge's library looking for an answer but even they admit they're stumped." Love took a deep breath and Raven could hear Affection off to the side crying and struggling to free her. "Our best guess is that Affection is fighting the very emotions she embodies."

"WHAT?" Raven shouted and the silence that followed made her realize Affection had quieted for the first time. Looking over at the emotion she found Affection looking scared and tearful. After a minute she resumed her struggle but Raven kept staring at her.

Eventually she tore her eyes away from Affection to addressed Love. "How can she fight what she is? She's _only_ affection. That's what she's made up of. What will happen to her if she won't show affection?" Raven felt sick, no wonder her emotions had called her to Nevermore.

"We can't say. She's not really a _danger_ to anyone in Nevermore, well except herself. We aren't sure what can happen to her if she keeps this up. The only reason we even noticed that anything was amiss is Wisdom. She suggested I visit everyone and see how they were reacting to my presence and the change in your overall feelings. Make sure they're handling it well.

"Everyone is," She said encouragingly. "even Timid and Rage. Rage is actually handling it extremely well. But when I got here Affection was no where to be found. I looked all over before summoning her" Raven knew he emotions obeyed being summoned. It was rarely done unless the emotion was truly needed. "I felt her start to pull back from instinct and habit but then - she stopped. I couldn't even find her."

"Why didn't I notice this? Why didn't I feel this? I'm never happy without Affection playing a part in it. How did I go almost six hours without realizing that this was going on?" If Raven felt sick before it was nothing to how she felt now. Because of Raven's powers she needed to be not only in control of her emotions, but in tune with them. The fact that it had gone unnoticed was a serious problem.

"Now that I'm here you'll find there will always be some level of happiness in your emotions. Today that happiness was heightened by the figurative 'high' from accepting me. What happened today was kind of a 'one time deal'. You'll be able to tell if this ever happens again." Love said hoping to reassure Raven. "And there's always Hope of course."

"Hope was out?" Raven thought back to how she had seen her standing by the woods. She looked around now but the elusive emotions didn't seem to be nearby. Figures.

"Of course she was." Love said looking startled. "Hope was the only person who could even _find_ Affection. I asked her to help her bring Affection back but she said she had to meet you and left. It was Hope who brought you to Nevermore, Raven."

"Yeah." Raven said distractedly. "I saw her when I was looking for Affection earlier but I didn't get the chance to talk to her." She sighed and shook her head quickly trying to clear her thoughts. "What am I supposed to do?"

"You're supposed to talk to her of course." Love answered. "She hasn't talked to anyone but Hope since we found her. You can – make - her talk though. You're stronger. You're in charge of your own mind." She paused for a second. "You're in charge _here_."

"Is it really a good idea for me to try an _make_ her talk?" Raven asked. "I don't think- I mean – I don't wan to. . . " She let the sentence trail off.

"We don't think you'll need to force her." Love said quickly. "Actually Wisdom believes she's afraid of you. She was clam enough about coming back until she saw you. Affection, thinks you're angry with her."

"_Afraid_ of _me_? Timid isn't even afraid of me! How did I scare my own emotion?" Raven asked in a panic. _Thinking_ Affection was afraid of her was completely different form _hearing_ that Affection was afraid of her. What the hell had she done? What could have made _Affection,_ one of her most easy-going emotions, afraid of her?

"Raven." Love looked at her kindly and placed a gentle hand on the side of her face. "I'm not sure what's going on here but I do know you'll be ale to work this out. Don't worry." She hugged Raven before taking a step back.

"I need to go. Affection wasn't the last person on my list. The sooner I get there the better. I don't imagine anyone has reacted in the same way but all the same. We didn't know about Affection. I'll feel better just to have checked.

"She'll be fine Raven. Just talk to her. Oh, and Hope mentioned she may be around later if you wanted to talk." She gave Raven one last hug and went to speak with Brave and Affection. Love placed a gentle hand on Affection's shoulder and Raven was horrified to see the purple cloaked emotion flinch at the contact.

Love wished Brave goodbye before turning and disappearing into a ball of energy whose color Raven couldn't name.

Raven headed towards Brave and Affection. As she approached the green cloaked emotion looked up from her struggling counterpart. Whispering into Affection's ear Brave guided her towards a nearby boulder and sat her down. " . . .and don't move!" Brave finished. Turning she greeted Raven.

"Hiya! She'll sit and talk with you now. Just in case though I'm gonna stay down by the lake so I can get her if she tries to run off. There shouldn't be a problem though.

"And Raven." She lowered her voice a little. "_I'm_ happy with him, she'll come 'round. Don't worry. I'll be down by the lake if you need me." After and affectionate punch on the shoulder and one last stern glance at Affection, Brave headed towards the lake. Raven watched her until she was skipping stones along the beach. Squaring her shoulders Raven turned back towards Affection.

The emotion had not left the rock, but was staring solemnly at her feet. Raven could see tears on her face and winced yet again. She did however realize what Love had meant. Through all the guilt and pain she was feeling about Affection there was the tiniest bit of happiness buried deep inside of her, warming her whenever she thought of it and Garfield.

"Affection?" Raven sat down next to her emotion gently as to not startle her. "What's going on? Why are you so upset?" With a slow, deliberate motion she placed a hand on Affection's back. The purple cloaked emotion stiffened momentarily. As she relaxed Raven moved her hand up and down Affection's back in, what she hoped, was a comforting motion in an effort to stifle her emotion's tears.

"Come on Affection." Raven did her best to speak quietly and soothingly as if she was comforting a crying child. "You need to talk to me here. Love said you thought I was angry with you? Why in Azar's name would I be angry with you? You haven't done anything wrong. Don't you know that?"

With a heart-wrenching sob Affection threw herself onto Raven; her arms tightly closed around Raven's small waist. Raven felt her eyes grow wide for a second before she hugged her emotion back continuing to move one hand and down Affection's back slowly. "Affection?" She said after a moment.

"I'm sorry!" Came the emotion's muffled cry. "After what happened with Malchior- that was all my fault! It was _my_ fault you were in pain. And that's not how it's supposed to work! I have a simple task and I messed it up! I messed up who I am! The entire reason I'm here. I'm supposed to make you feel _good,_ and happy and joyful. Not like your world is closing in!" Raven winced as Affection used the same phrase that Raven herself had used to describe her feelings in one of her many journals after Malchior.

Affection was forced to stop momentarily unable to talk for the intensity of her sobbing. Taking a few gulping breaths she tried speaking again. "And- and Garfield is so nice! Just like He was! But I'll hurt you again and that's the last thing I want to do! He was nice and you just ended up getting hurt! I can't hurt you again! I just can't! I don't want to make you feel that way again. I don't want to cause you that much pain. Not again. Not again." She said in a pain filled whisper.

She broke down into body-shaking sobs. It took a few minutes for her to control the crying enough to try talking. "I tried not caring, I really did! I swear I tried! But I can't! I just can't stop. I can't stop wanting to like him! Even if he does remind me of Him, I still like him. I still want to hug him and hold him and kiss him." Raven felt herself blush but continued to hold onto her emotion. "I'm sorry, I just don't want you to get hurt again! I'm sorry Raven! I'm so sorry! I really did try."

Raven hugged Affection even tighter feeling as though her heart was breaking. "Affection." As the emotion looked up it could not have been clearer she was expecting to be told off. "That wasn't your fault." Raven told her firmly. "It was Malchior's fault. And only Malchior's." Affection wiped her eyes on her purple cloak.

The more Raven thought about it the more she realized how starved Affection was for well – affection. The last person to hug Raven had been Garfield right after Malchior. That had been three years ago. Before that, the last person Raven had hugged was her mother hours before she died. She hadn't known that so soon after, she'd be holding her mother's dead body in her arms wailing her grief while rocks exploded nearby.

"Affection?" She hi-coughed and looked up at Raven. "Malchior _was_ a mistake, but he was my mistake- not yours. Besides" She added "Love's here now. She wasn't last time though, remember? That must mean that this time the feelings are true, not how they were with Malchior. If this was another mistake I don't think Love would be here. We'd still be on our own." Raven gave her a squeeze. "You do like Garfield, right?"

Affection smiled as she nodded her head. "He's awesome Raven. Really sweet and totally huggable! He's really nice. Even knowing about us." Raven knew 'us' meant her emotions.

"I'm sorry. I just- I – I didn't know what to do, and I guess I freaked out. I'm sorry. I'm trying. And I really do feel better. Honest. Sorry about messing up your sleep though." She was quickly starting to sound like her normal, much more cheerful, self. "I guess I just got swept up with Malchior. It made me scared of trying again." She added regretfully.

"I was scared too, for a while. It happens to all of us." Said Raven with a small smile. "And don't worry about my sleep. This gives Hope and me a chance to talk. We're over do for a talk.

"I'm sorry too. I haven't stopped here very much since Malchior." Raven said guiltily. "I'll make sure I stop in more often and for longer periods of time. Does that sound good?" Affection nodded happily. Raven sighed and looked around. "Why don't you go walk around for a bit? Maybe take a nap, or walk through the flowers. I'm sure Love will be back to check up on you once she's finished everywhere else." Affection nodded, a large smile plastered over her face. After given Raven a bone crushing hug she pranced off towards the road to pick wildflowers.

She made it half way before Brave, running like a deer, tackled her. "I told you not to move Affection!" She had the purple cloaked emotion pinned at the shoulders. "You need to work things out with Raven. _Listen_ to what Hope told you. We're worried about you kid." She added giving Affection a rough shake which, Raven knew, was Brave's form of hugging.

"Brave!" Raven yelled as she flew over to her emotions. "It's okay! Everything's fine! I let her go. We were finished talking, I promise. Thank you though, you definitely stopped her."

Brave immediately got off Affection and reached down to pull her up. "Sorry kid." She said ruffling Affection's hair. Affection smiled cheerfully and gave her what Raven now knew to be a hug that could almost matched Happy's, before turning away and skipping towards the road.

"Sorry Raven." Brave said gruffly. "I thought she was makin' a run for it. Hope talked to me while you two were busy chatting. She said to come to her realm if you've got time. She wants to talk with you.I'm gonna head home. Practice some kick boxing ya know? See ya later?"

"Yeah. I'll stop by in a week or so okay?" Brave nodded as she bounced around Raven practicing kicks and punches. "Bye then." Raven saw a green light fill her vision, then Brave was gone.

'_Go to Hope's realm? I don't even know where it is!'_ She cast her eyes around as if expecting a sign to appear. _'Think Raven. It must be close by… I could take the road? No. The road moves of it's own accord at times. I can't guarantee I won't walk straight into Rage's realm. Can I teleport somewhere if I have no idea where it is or what it looks like? I guess it's worth a try.'_

Closing her eyes Raven focused on Hope, as the emotion was all she had to go on. Unlike other times she had no idea of where she was headed or what it looked like. She only had the feeling itself to focus on. She felt her feet leave the ground momentarily. Soon enough she touched back down onto ground that was distinctly different form Affection's realm. Feeling her body settle onto the ground she opened her eyes curiously.


	6. Where Am I?

**A/N: It almost killed me but I got this out before 3 pm. Why 3pm you ask? Why I leave for Fracne and Spain this afternoon. I won't be able to wirte while I'm gone but I have chapter 7 ready to be typed.**

**I hope you enjoy this, as always tell me what you think!**

**Chapter 6**

**What's Going On?**

"Hope?" Raven looked around cautiously, because really, she'd never been here and Hope was mysterious enough. Raven was starting to notice her surroundings, or lack therefore of. Everything was hazy and distorted. But oddly enough this didn't concern her. She felt rather relieved and peaceful. She also felt distinctly warm and comfortable. It was the same feeling she got in the morning when she was no longer asleep but not quite awake either. It was – nice.

She tried to focus her eyes on something but all she saw was the haze. Deciding that wandering around aimlessly in a mysterious haze may not be the best idea she sat down and was surprised to find the ground wasn't hard. It was similar to sitting on her mattress and the haze seemed to be whispering incomprehensible, yet still soothing, words to her as she waited for something to happen.

The haze stirred and as she concentrated on it she was able to make out Hope's approaching form. Slowly Raven stood up wondering why _now_ out of her entire life Hope had decided to invite Raven to her realm.

Raven had never been given the change to study Hope before and seized it now. Her cloak and leotard were both white and she obviously looked like Raven, though, much calmer than Raven could ever recall feeling. She moved with grace and certainty a small smile lighting her features.

She stopped a few feet away form Raven studying her. A moment passed before she spoke. "Hello Raven." Hope's voice was incredibly soft and small but Raven wasn't about to under estimate her. Peace radiated from her in waves.

"Hello Hope." Hope had invited her here and Raven was content to wait the emotion out.

Hope seemed to sense this. "I'm sure you're wondering why I asked you to come here. It's really quite simple. You're going to need me soon and I thought we should become better aquatinted."

Raven raised her eyebrows in a look of disbelief. "I'm going to need you?" She repeated. "Out of everything that has happened to me, almost 18 years of tragedies, I'm going to need you now. Now that I'm happy? Now that I feel okay? Feel good? Now I'm going to need you. May I ask why exactly?"

Hope shrugged. "Just a gut feeling. You've always been self-reliant, to the point where I've had little to do. But you're going to need me Raven. I can feel it.

"For being deprived of the comfort I provide you've done remarkably well. Your self-determination is incredible. Most people would have killed themselves by now. I know, I know, you were _going_ to kill yourself. But you're here today. I'm proud,"

"Oh, Uhm. Thank you. . . I guess." Raven stared at Hope unnerved.

Her emotions never mentioned that period of time from when she was 13 and 14. Convinced she was evil Raven had been hell-bent on killing herself. Luckily Robin asked her to join the Titans a few days before she had planned to commit her suicide. With the Titans she was able to rationalize her existence (and grow up a bit). Raven was under the impression her emotions just thanked Azar they were still here.

"Is that all you had to tell me?" Raven asked.

"Just remember Raven, you always have hope. Things will always get better and be okay. Always. I promise Raven. Okay?"

"Okay." Raven was confused. Hope barely spoke to her and now she was reassuring Raven that this impending disaster would sort itself out when nothing had even happened.

Hope moved closer to Raven studying her face. With a nod she hugged Raven and the girl felt her anxieties at this unknown problem fade into a relaxing calm. "We'll talk more from now on okay?" Hope said. "If you ever need me just come back here. I'll be here when needed. Alright?"

"'Kay." Raven said again studying Hope's face. You've got no idea what's going on?" She questioned.

"No." Hope replied looking a bit down. "But I'm sure everything will be fine!" Raven nodded. "You can go back to sleep now. It's not even 3 in the morning yet so you should be able to get some actual sleep tonight,"

Hope cocked her head suddenly as if listening to something. Raven looked around but saw and heard nothing. "Actually"Hope began. "I think you may be needed somewhere in the Tower. Go." Kissing Raven's forehead Hope gently pushed Raven back into sleep.

Raven awoke almost immediately pushing herself up from Kory's bed. Kory was fast asleep hugging a plush kitten and smiling happily. Putting one hand to her throbbing forehead Raven got out of bed to find whoever needed her help.

Out in the hallway she felt two distinct pulls. Raven followed the strongest one and set off blindly after it.

Dick had gone to bed soon after saying goodnight to the rest of his team. He was asleep now, but not peacefully so. Sweat beaded on his face and beneath closed lids his eyes darted frantically.

It wasn't unusual for Dick to have nightmares. They'd gotten much better in recent years but sometimes, like tonight, they returned in full force.

Dick still vividly remembers waking up screaming for the first time in Wayne manor. Alfred, waiting for Bruce to return, had run into the room after hearing Dick's terrified sobbing.

_Alfred could tell what was going on immediately. After so many years of taking care of "Master Wayne" Alfred knew what the tears rolling down the boy's face meant._

"_Master Richard?" Alfred was the only person who called him Richard. He was Dick to everyone else including Bruce. "Oh Master Richard it's quite alright." Alfred sat with him as he cried only moving when Bruce returned form patrol still in costume save for his cowl, which he held._

"_Alfred?" Dick's face turned bright red upon realizing Bruce was home and he hurriedly turned away missing the concerned look on his guardian's face. "Is something wrong?"_

"_A moment in the hall sir?" Alfred led his master into the hallway closing the door behind them._

_A few minutes later Bruce returned looking grim. "Come on." He said with that voice like gravel that Dick was still getting used to. Startled Dick stood up shaking. Was Bruce going to kick him out? What was going on? Alfred appeared in the door way holding Dick's coat._

_Alfred smiled gently and gave the coat a little shake. Dick slipped it on quickly and followed Bruce grabbing shoes on their way out the door. Dick stopped once he got outside unable to move due to his awe._

_Bruce was sitting in the driver's seat of the _Batmobile_. Up until this point Dick had only been allowed to look at it, never get _in_ it. Bruce made a motion with his hand and Dick hurried into the car still awestruck. "Seatbelt." Was all Bruce said as they pulled away from the house._

_Dick stared at his hands looking up only after Bruce had parked the car. Looking out the driver-side window he saw that they were at Gotham cemetery. His parents were buried here. Feeling concerned and slightly alarmed he looked at Bruce. "This will help." He said quietly in response to Dick's terrified glance._

_Bruce climbed out and Dick followed him scrambling out of the large car. They approached the cemetery gate and stopped: it was locked. "Give me your coat and shoes." Dick quickly did as he was told. Now standing on the soft grass with no shoes to entrap his feet._

_He blinked and Bruce was gone. Looking around tentatively he saw Bruce sitting on the cemetery wall. "Are you coming?" He quickly slid down the wall and out of sight before reappearing on the fence's other side._

_The reason for his missing coat and shoes became clear. Backing up a few feet he took a running leap onto the wall and dropped down deftly next to his new guardian. "Lead the way." Dick nodded feeling a tight knot form in his chest._

_They slipped through the cemetery stopping before the Drakes graves. Only a few weeks old the dirt had yet to settle completely, and a wreath lay dejected in front of his mother's headstone. Dick dropped to his knees fingers running over the freshly engraved names. Tears welled up in his eyes. Angrily he punched the headstone bearing his father name sobbing. He was only 12 years old. Why did he have to loose his entire family?_

_A hand settled on his shoulder. Bruce was sitting on the ground next him. Without thinking he turned to the other man crying bitterly for his lost parents. His sobbing carried such force that even holding himself upright required too much energy. Soon enough he was crying himself sick with his weight rested completely on Bruce's chest._

_For his part the Dark Knight just held him. He hoped desperately that he was providing something close to the comfort Alfred had been to him so many years ago. His heart constricted painfully when he heard a muffled "I _miss_ them." Eventually the crying slowed and Dick pulled back._

"_Feeling better?" Dick nodded. "I thought so. I can't count the number of nights Alfred came running to find me screaming. Plagued by the same type of nightmares you have. They'll get better Dick. They won't ever go away 100 but they'll get better. _

_Come on. Let's get you home. We have a quick detour first though." Dick followed Bruce to a different, older, part of the cemetery_

_Here two pillars stood monuments to those lost. Dick read the names quickly his eyes widening. '_Martha and Thomas Wayne. Loving Wife, Husband, and Parents. May they find the rest they so deserve.' _Now he remembered that Bruce had lost his parent when he was younger than Dick was right now._

_Dick was surprised to see Bruce run his fingers over the engraved names as he himself had been doing earlier. He could hear Bruce murmuring and turned away. A few moments later dick felt someone standing behind him._

_Bruce waited for him to turn around. Once they were facing each other he kneeled putting his hands on the boys shoulders. "You'll always miss them Dick." He said somberly. "And that's okay. But you're not alone. You have Alfred and you have me. We'll take care of you."_

_After that night whenever he'd wake up screaming (which, for nearly a year, was almost every night) it was a toss up as to weather Bruce or Alfred would come running into his room. There were some nights when he woke up, not from nightmares but just his own stirring, to see Bruce sitting in his room reading. Occasionally he'd look up to see it Dick was still sleeping peacefully. Dick would always close his eyes feeling safe._

_When he started having periods where the nightmares intensified so that he refused to even try and sleep Bruce started taking him on patrols. They helped because often Dick was too tired to dream of anything. The more often he was Robin the less he often he had nightmares._

At the moment though Dick was having nightmares full force. He'd long stopped screaming but the nightmares were still there. He knew that was why Bruce had always looked in on him after patrols or whenever Dick had gone to bed. The man could not be fooled.

Once again Dick was watching his parents die. He saw the look of joy on his mother's face at flying through the air turn to fear as she gripped her husband's arms tighter and tighter.

Dick was struggling against the hold of two trapeze girls as he watched his parents fall. They died with their arms entangled in one another's, the ropes hitting the floor a split second later.

His sharp eyes struggled to spot movement, but none would come. He'd known that as soon as the rope gave way. It was the reason his parents, and only his parents, were allowed to perform without a net. One mistake meant death.

In his bedroom at Titans Tower a tear rolled down Dick's face as his mouth opened in a silent scream. He was still trapped in nightmares watching the deaths of his parent's play out over and over again.

Raven yawned her jaw cracking as she walked down the hall. The Titan's bedrooms were in the top of the Tower stretching along the "T". Victor and Dick had rooms at one end (with Terra's now empty room next to Vic's) with Kory, Raven, and Garfield on the other end. In the middle on the sides of the staircase and elevator were three well done bathrooms that took up the middle of the top floor.

Stopping to rub the last dregs of sleep from her face Raven noticed for the first time where she was in the Tower. This was the way to Dick and Vic's rooms. While all the other Titans, including Kory, had nightmares (and after their lives who wouldn't?) Dick's had always been the worse.

Once or twice Raven had asked him about the nightmares. He'd always brushed her off though. Saying they weren't so bad, or that everything was fine and he just had a hard night. She didn't believe him but he had a right to his privacy.

'_Third time charm?'_ She thought wryly. Raising her hand to knock she stopped. _'Here I am, again, in the middle of the night knocking on doors. Oh to be blissfully and ignorantly asleep.'_ Sighing she knocked. When no one answered she opened her mind a tad.

Letting her powers flow through the closed door she reached Dick's bed. She immediately realized he was asleep and in extreme distress. Opening her mind a bit more she realized what the dreams were about.

Using her powers she slowly drew herself a picture of what Dick looked like at the moment. Tears were streaming down his face, mouth opened in a silent scream. He was thrashing wildly and looked as if the slightest touch would wake him.

She had seen his nightmares before while in his mind but she'd purposely made his eyes hidden as he requested. Seeing him now, so scared and upset, without his mask he looked so young and lost.

Knocking wouldn't work. She was going to have to go into his room. She knocked hopefully one more time. Going into Dick's room without being invited when he was asleep and having nightmares seemed dangerous. No answer. She had to go in now.

'_Just go! Azar's sake what's the worst that can happen?'_ Raven wasn't quite sure how Dick would react but she had a feeling the headline '_Robin Kills Teammate!'_ may show up somewhere.

'_Don't be such a baby. You can take him!'_

'_Brave.'_

'_Yeah, I know. Be quiet.'_

Using her powers Raven opened the door quietly. Looking at her leader she stopped feeling a surge of sympathy. Dick appeared to be struggling against an invisible person's grasp. Raven had done the same when stopped from going after her mother.

Slowly she walked towards the bed praying with every step to any listening deity for him to wake himself. Reaching the bed she stopped unsure of how to wake him. She sat gingerly next to the pillow decided to prod him just a bit.

As soon as her fingers touched his shoulder he latched onto her crying. "Alfred? Bruce?" His eyes were shut tight against the terror of his dreams. "It's- It's happening again." He sobbed. "I want my parents!"

Raven froze. '_He doesn't know where he is.' _She thought in mild horror. _'He's so scared from the nightmare that coupled with having his mask off and waking up to someone sitting next to him his mind's slid back three years. To when we weren't a team. When he was in Gotham city still. _Damnit._'_

"Robin?" She hoped hearing his hero name would jerk him back to present day. No good. "Dick?"

"Bruce? Is that you? Alfred? He was sitting up now his head pressed right below Raven's neck. "What's going on?" And just like that Raven was _scared_.

His voice, the voice that was both father and brother to her wasn't strong. Wasn't sure. Wasn't saying things were fine. It was _scared_. She had her trembling, crying team leader nestled against her. Were things really so bad?

"Dick. You're at home. In Titans Tower remember? We've been living here together for three years. It's me, Raven. You're in Jump City, not Gotham. Batman and Alfred aren't here. Do you understand what I'm telling you?"

He pulled away still crying. His eyes looked into hers as if he were struggling to understand. Raven gently touched his forehead and repeated herself unleashing a bit of her power to help him understand.

"Raven!" He hastily wiped his tears away. "What the hell is- You're in your- it's 3 in the- What the _fuck_?" He had scrambled away to the other side of the bed and sat starring at her. She crossed her arms self-consciously hiding the scars from her father.

"You were having a nightmare Dick. I knocked but you didn't wake up. I was worried so I came in. When I woke you up you were confused and thought I was Alfred or Bruce. Are your nightmares always like that? Are they always so bad?"

"How did you know I was having a nightmare?" Dick asked uncertainly. He was afraid he had yelled out in his sleep.

"My powers. Actually someone else in the Tower is having a rough night as well. I want to talk about your nightmare though." Raven felt her powers twinge. They were getting worse whoever they were. "Listen, why don't we talk later today. After your run? Okay Dick? Please?"

"Fine. But this stays between us Raven. No one else needs to know I had a nightmare, okay? Not even Kory"

"Of course. You might as well get some more sleep. It's not even 3:30 yet. I'll see you in the morning." He nodded but never went back in bed. Instead Dick sat deep in thought until his alarm clock sounded 5 am.

Raven was back in the hallway listening with her powers. _'It's not Victor. That only leaves Kory and Garfield. . . Damn.'_ The empath set out towards Garfield's room flying a few inches above the ground.

She landed gently in front of the door heart pounding. He was still asleep. _'I should knock. Or can I just go in? He didn't answer the last time I knocked. But this is different. Right?'_ Mentally searching her emotions she found the one she was looking for. _'Wisdom? What do you say?'_

'_I say it's hard to be sure either way. But,'_ Her voice sounded heavy in Raven's mind. _'Go in.'_

Raven steeled herself and entered the room. Ignoring the piles of clothing and garbage she moved towards the bunk beds in the corner of his room. Looking into the bottom bed she sighed.

'_Of course. He begged Dick for a bunk bed. Why on Earth couldn't he just get regular bed? Or at least sleep on the bottom bed. God damn changeling.'_ With another sigh of irritation Raven floated upwards after giving the ladder a look of distaste. She knew she was feeling irrationally angry.

'_What the hell? Why am I so upset? Calm down Raven. Just calm down and talk to Gar.'_ She took and deep breath and slowly let it out. Looking at Garfield she frowned.

He was sleep shifting uneasily. None of the animals were too big for his bed but something wasn't right about them. Even asleep they reminded her of the dogs he had become after seeing that episode of Animal Cops or whatever it was.

They all twitched, or tried to move away from some invisible attacker. She watched for a few minutes until Garfield morphed back to default form. Instantly she reached out gently touching his cheek. His eyes sprung open and he morphed into a mouse, scampering under the pillow.

"Garfield?" She said uncertainly. A mouse head poked out at her sniffing anxiously. After a moment the rest of the body followed and a minute later Garfield was sitting on his bed wearing a pair of robot pajama pants and no shirt.

"H- hi Raven. Everything okay? Bad guys on the move?" His eyes flickered to the dark, silent alarm on the wall before looking back at Raven. "What's up?"

"Were you having a nightmare Garfield?" Raven asked feeling a sudden tiredness press onto her.

"'Course I wasn't." He said uneasily. "Why do you ask?" Anger bubbled in the pit of her stomach washing the tiredness out. She rolled her eyes and turned away slightly.

His fake easiness quickly disappeared replaced with genuine concern. "Rae? Is everything all right?" He reached out to touch her arm but she smacked his hand away. She. Was. _Pissed._

"You know what _Beast Boy._" His eyes winded in pain at her refusal to use his real name. "Fuck it. Just _fuck _it. Goodnight and good-_bye­."_ Raven heard a lamp pop as she spoke but ignored it.

"Raven. . ." She had floated away from his bed towards the door. Looking back she saw him sitting in bed, ears drooped reaching a hand out to her. She almost turned back. She _wanted_ to turn back but then the anger burst forth like a damn and she swept out of the room stopping only after a soft click sounded from the shutting door. She took a deep breath trying to think.

Still angry she passed Kory's room into her own. Books fell off the selves as the door shut. Raven took yet another deep breath. '_Calm down Raven. Just calm down. Otherwise you're going to bust the window and have to explain that to Dick. Take some deep breaths.'_ Raven walked back to her door and locked it.

Something was going very wrong in Nevermore. It had been years since her anger burst out like that. _'What did I just do?'_ She asked herself.

Raven set aside a small portion of her magic to keep anyone from interfering before making the journey inside her own head.

It was two weeks before the Titans saw her again.

Garfield had tried knocking but Raven's powers pushed him backwards before covering the door in black energy. When he touched it the energy crackled threateningly keeping him back. He decided right then he was sitting down to wait for her. How long could she possibly be in there?

Even when the alarm sounded throughout every room of the Tower she had not emerged. Dick, after getting a good look at his teammate, decided the changeling could stay as long as he promised to come should they need back up. Garfield ate and slept outside of that door. He was constantly changing shape and doing his best to use comics and music as distractions.

At least once a day he made a point of loudly calling Raven's name. The silence he received told him talking to walls would have been more effective. He continued to change constantly reflecting his restless feelings and anxiety.

Victor tried getting his best friend to move a few times to no avail. The last time he'd tried he had met a large green glaring lion as it passed between door and wall. He gave up after that.

Kory brought him food three times a day. Garfield thanked her, especially after noticing she went out of her way to bring him his favorite vegetarian dishes even when he could smell ribs cooking in the kitchen.

By the end of the second week Garfield was getting more and more concerned. Raven hadn't had anything to eat or drink in weeks. That definitely wasn't healthy. '_What is she doing in there?'_ He'd ask himself. _'Meditating? No. She's never need to meditate this long before. Even when her powers were completely out of control it only took her a few days to fix things.'_

'_She has to be in there though. But how is she still alive?' _Garfield took comfort in the facts that Raven needed to be close to anything she had spelled, meaning she must be near the door, and that the power itself meant she was healthy enough to maintain it. Those were only small comforts though.

14 days after originally sitting down outside Raven's door Garfield was stalking invisible cat prey was neat _click_ made him look up. Morphing back to default he watched as a pale hand emerged from the room holding the doorframe for support.

Raven slowly stumbled into the hallway her face and gray. Garfield rushed forward taking hold of her arm and helped her to sit against the wall.

Her tried to ask her a question but she shook her head and mimed drinking from a cup with her hands. "Of course!" He fumbled with his communicator tucked into his jean pocket. "Kory! Dick! Victor! Get up here! Now!" He heard feet pounding on the stairs a flight below and put the communicator back in his pocket. Anxiously Garfield awaited the door opening that would announce their arrival.

Running a hand through Raven's hair he noticed she was trying to say something. Putting his ears next to her lips he could hear her say in a raspy voice, "I heard you calling my name. I heard you. I just" She coughed. "I just couldn't come. I'm sorry."

"Don't worry about that Rae." He said soothingly. Gar looked down the hall to see three teens hurrying towards them. All three stopped in shock starring down and their teammate.

After a second Victor stooped and gently picked up the near-faint girl, hurrying off towards the med lab. Kory followed, floating anxiously behind him.

Dick turned to a startled Garfield. He was still sitting on the floor looking at the spot where Raven had been a minute earlier. "Garfield?" His head snapped up, looking around at Dick. "What – what happened? How did you get her to come out?"

"I didn't." He admitted. "She just sort of – fell out of her room. She was mumbling something but her voice kept going out. I don't think she's eaten anything since she disappeared into her room two weeks ago." He looked around a little wildly briefly becoming a humming bird before switching back. "Can we go down to the med lab?"

"Yeah let's go." He'd barely finished speaking before a green cheetah was racing down the hallway and onto the stairs. Dick stared at the doorway as if hoping answer would appear before him. Shaking his head he followed Garfield much slower taking the elevator to the med lab two floors below.

When he entered it was to see Victor moving around one of the beds while two very anxious Titans hovered near-by. "Is she okay Vic?" He asked his half-metal teammate.

"It's like I was trying to tell these two. She's got no food and the barest amount of water in her system. Even 14 days with no food is gonna hurt your body.

"As far as I can tell she just needs a few good meals in he and she'll be fine. I've got no clue what she was doing in there though. We'll have to wait until she wakes up. Right after I got her onto the bed everything must have caught up with her and she passed out.

"Kory?" He turned to the alien who was pulling on her long red hair nervously. "Can you change Raven into one of the gowns? I need to do a quick physical and I think she'd rather you changed her." Kory nodded pulling the curtain closed behind her.

"Gar, I don't suppose she told you what she was doing in there?" The changeling shook his head both ears pointing downwards. Victor slung an arm around his best friend. "No worries salad-head. Everything's gonna be cool. She'll be fine."

Kory emerged pushing the curtain back into place and dropping Raven's cami and yoga pants onto a nearby cabinet. Victor approached the bed and moved the blankets onto Raven's hips before pulling the gown up. Careful to keep the blankets at her waist he moved the gown until it rested just under her breasts. He let out a long whistle causing his teammates to look at him with raised eyebrows. Vic simply pointed at Raven.

Raven had always been on the slim side thanks to a fast metabolism and a diet consisting mostly of tea. Two weeks of no food combined with a fast metabolism and it wasn't surprising Raven's body had burned right through it's already small fat stores.

Now her body was gaunt. Skin stretched out over small hip bones, her ribs played out a sickeningly visible design on her sides. Garfield looked down at her feeling bile rise in his throat. The small, but beautiful, girl he cared so much about was now skin and bones. He realized her face had a hollowed, starved look he hadn't noticed in the hallway.

He stared in horror until metal hands turned him around. "Garfield. Look at me." Victor's voice was deep and steady. He watched as forest green eyes traveled to meet his. "She's gonna be okay. I won't lie. She lost 18 pounds over the past two weeks, but she _can_ gain it back.

"Kory?" The alien left Dick's side looking anxious. "Can you take BB up to the kitchen? Get him some of that vegetarian supreme pizza or something?" Kory nodded gently pulling on Gar's elbow, urging him away from the bed.

"Gar, go. There's nothing you can do here but wear yourself down. Go eat, take a nap. We both know you haven't been sleeping well. I'll let you know if there's a change. Okay? I promise."

Soundlessly the changeling nodded and let Kory lead him upstairs to the kitchen. Once the door clicked shut Dick rounded on his teammate.

"Is she seriously going to be okay?" Dick slid his eyes from Raven to Victor looking worried. "She's- it's more than just her weight loss isn't it?"

Victor looked grim as he moved Raven's gown down to cover her mid-thigh and took the blankets off her legs. Small bruises covered them. It looked as though Raven had been – _beaten_.

"I'm not sure how she had the had enough energy to even walk out of her room." Victor said quietly, breaking the horrified silence. "Garfield said she walked into the hallway on her own right?" Dick nodded. "I can't imagine how. Her body used up leg muscle to keep feeding itself. The marks," He pointed to red areas on both of her knees and ankles. "Make it look like she's been sitting in one position the entire time. But that doesn't explain the where the _hell_ the bruising came from.

"She needs to wake up man." Vic said seriously. "And not just so she can tell us what's been going on. Her body need food and soon. I'd rather not have to force feed her but if she doesn't wake up by midnight I'll have to."

"But . . ." Dick hadn't worn his mask in almost three weeks but Vic still wasn't used to it. He attributed it to Dick's extremely intense eyes, which only intensified without his mask. Right now he looked scared and Vic's database brain reminded him of the mind connection shared by two of his teammates. "She'll be okay right? There's nothing permanent?"

"No. I wasn't lying to Gar. Maybe a little help getting her strength back and certainly a few weeks to regain the weight. But, in a month or so, we'll have her back good as new."

"What on Earth could she have been doing for two weeks?"

"I dunno man. We'll find out when she gets up. Go upstairs with Kory and relax. Send up a sandwich if you get a chance but I'll be fine. I'm gonna watch her for a while."

"Alright. We'll send someone up in a few hours so you can get some rest. Let us know if anything changes."

Victor nodded and watched the other boy leave. Turning back to Raven he shook his head slowly. "Girl, you just scared a lot of people. There'd better be a good reason behind all of this." He studied his unconscious teammate.

She was lucky. Already a small girl no food for so long could have hurt her a lot more. Instead she'd be fine. Part of that, Vic knew, was from her body's own healing ability the rest was chance.

Victor stayed with her for two more hours before Garfield arrived with the message that Kory was cooking dinner downstairs and Dick wanted Victor to come eat. Garfield would stay with Raven for a few hours.

"All right, listen. If she comes 'round get me on the communicator. Don't let her get out of bed; it'd be best if she just laid still but she can sit up if she really wants. Hold off asking her any questions 'til I check her out and get some food in her. We don't need her going into shock again.

"If she isn't awake by 10 o'clock tonight," That was three hours away. "Let me know. 'Kay salad head?" Garfield nodded his eyes fixed on Raven. Victor clapped him on the shoulder and left headed towards the common room and dinner.

Garfield let out a shaky breath and sat down in the chair next to Raven's bed. Scooting it closer t the sick Titan he grabbed her hand running his thumb over her fingers. "Come on Rae. C'mon. You gotta wake soon. Everyone's really worried about you. We just want to know you're all right. Show us you're okay. Get up."

Raven slept on unaware of the talking boy at her bedside. Sighing Garfield stopped talking for a few minutes. Soon enough though he'd started again willing to try anything in order to rouse his friend.

An hour later Garfield had run out of things to say; a situation he'd never found himself in before. Unwilling to give up he started repeating himself and singing songs he had learned as a child hoping a friendly voice would be enough help in itself to rouse her. Standing up he took one of his hands from Raven's and started to run his fingers through her dark purple hair.

Raven's head moved slightly leaning towards his hand. Garfield froze, holding his breath. He was unwilling to call Victor or anyone else until he was sure Raven was waking up. Maybe she had just been moving in her sleep.

But no, she was still stirring, her hand squeezed hard on Garfield's and her eyes crept open, blinking in the med lab's bright lights. "Rae?" He whispered softly. Slowly her head turned towards his.

"Garfield?" She was hard to understand her voice dry and scratchy with disuse.

"Yeah Rae, it's me. Everything's all right. Okay? Just hold on a second." He fumbled the pockets of his jeans for his communicator.

"Vic? _Victor?_ Are you there?"

"I'm here. Is everything cool?" The scratchy static resumed as he waited for Garfield's response.

"Yeah! She's awake. Come down here." He stuffed the communicator back into his pocket and looked down at Raven who was struggling to sit up. "Hey, hey. Just lie down. You were in your room for two weeks Raven. You need your rest."

"_Two weeks?_" Her voice was still raspy and she didn't look happy. Raven tried once again to sit up but fell back exhausted. Garfield raised the bed so she was in a sitting position without having to use too much energy. "They never said . . . How on Earth could they keep me for two weeks? Those _idiots_. I could have died. If they had . . . " Garfield raised any eyebrow but refrained from commenting.

Victor come in followed by Kory who was holding a bowl of soup. Dick followed a minute later carrying a glass and a pitcher of water. "Look who decided to join us." Victor said gently teasing as he walked over to Raven's bed. "I just want to check a few things now that you're awake. No worries, most of the physical you slept through."

Raven seemed to suddenly realize she was in a hospital gown and her cheeks grew hot. "Don't worry. Kory got you changed and we protected your modesty." Vic said teasingly.

The examination was quick and Raven easily followed Vic's finger and could name the President and where she was. Finally Victor motioned Kory and Dick forward. "You need to eat. Take it _slow_. I don't want you making yourself sick."

Raven nodded eyes fixed on the soup. She looked starving and as soon as Kory handed her a spoon she was digging in. Raven finished in less than 10 minutes only taking that long because Victor made her slow down a few times. The bowl of soup had been small but it filled Raven's shrunken stomach.

With help from Garfield she sat up free of the bed's support. Garfield kept his hand a few inches behind her ready to catch her should her strength fail. After a few minutes her newfound weakness caught up with her and she slumped back onto Garfield. She could usually heal her own body but partial starvation was hard to combat.

After taking a few sips of water Raven surveyed her teammates. "I've been in my room for two weeks?" She asked quietly. "I apologize for causing you all so much worry. May I be alone? I need to think.

Victor exchanged a hesitant look with Dick but Garfield was already answering her question. "No you can't be alone! A) You almost _died_ from malnutrition. B) We both want and need to know what's been going on. And C) LOOK WHAT HAPPENED THE LAST TIME WE 'LEFT YOU ALONE'!" Everyone stared at the changeling in shocked silence. Raven's eyes widened for the quickest second before she turned to Dick expressionlessly.

"I'll change that. May Garfield and I be alone for a bit? I'd like to talk to him." The green teenager swallowed nervously but seemed determined to stay.

"Raven, we need to know what happened - " Dick started

"And you will. In a bit. I promise. Right now I'd like to speak with Garfield. Please Dick." Their leader hesitated before nodding.

"Two hours tops Raven. Okay?"

"More than enough time. Thank you. And while I understand you won't want me returning to my room tonight, Kory, would you mind grabbing my pajama pants and a t-shirt from my room? I want to get out of this damn gown."

"I'll be back faster than a Glurgem in summer friend!" Kory flew off ahead of the boys who followed her out. Garfield and Raven waited in silence until Kory flew back into the room.

"Thank you Kory." Raven said with a genuine smile. "I really appreciate it."

Kory smiled widely. "It is no trouble dear friend. I am glad you are awake once again and hope you feel much better soon!" She hugged Raven tightly before leaving her and Garfield alone. Raven quickly shut the curtain around her bed telepathically and laboriously changed into black yoga pants and a Cleveland Indians' shirt, not noticing her staved and battered body in the least. As soon as she finished the curtains flew back into place.

Garfield sat on the bed legs folded Indian style. Raven raised an eyebrow and said, "That was a nice outburst Garfield. You aren't nearly as angry with me as I am with myself. So if you're just going to yell at me, save your breath. I don't need anyone else telling me how stupid I was." She finished quietly.

"Damnit Raven I'm not angry I'm scared! We had no idea what happened to you! No one could get in your room, and you'd been so upset with me right before disappearing. And two weeks later you come out of your room half starved and covered in bruises. I think I have the right to be scared!

"I sat outside your room day and night for two weeks. Don't you get it Rae? I know! It was my fault for making you angry. Hell it must be my fault. Wasn't it? I know and I'm sorry. I'm _so_ sorry Rae.

"But I never left the hallway Raven, ever. Not even on assignments. I think I have a right to know what happened." All Raven heard was Garfield's guilt.

"Two weeks? You were out there for two weeks?" Raven couldn't believe he'd done that. For her. Then there was the rest of it. "_Your_ fault?" She squeaked. "Of course it wasn't your fault. Don't think that." She grabbed his hand tightly. "_Never_ think that. Never."

"Then what happened Rae? What the hell was going on that you stayed in your room for two weeks without telling anyone why?"

She knew she must look scared. She _was_ scared. But he, if anyone, had a right to know. Grabbing his other hand she looked up into the reassuring forest green eyes of the boy she had slowly fallen in love with. She could tell him. She would tell him. Even if it was hard.

"Something happened." She began. "Something bad." A story that would take a long time to tell and then retell for the rest of her family.


	7. All Together Now

**A/N: Luckily for you guys (not so much for me) my boyfriend and I broke up this week. That means that I dealt with all my pain by typing/writing/editng like a woman possesed.**

**I'm sorry this took so long though. I have a weird compulsion where I can't post the next chapter unless I have the chapter after that completely done, so I was finishing chapter 8.**

**This is the last obcenely long chapter for a while.**

**Usually I don't mention reviewers in my updates, but I did want to thank the anonymous reviewer. That meant a lot to me. And don't worry you're humor is coming up in the next few chapters.**

**Any one out there who hasn't reviewed becuase they don't have a pen nemae, no worries, I love anonymous reviews just as much. So please, everyone, review! I could use them right now as a pick-me-up. :)**

**Chapter 7**

**All Together Now**

Raven felt a strange pull and opened her eyes to find Brave's realm surrounding her. _'What? I was aiming for Rage. Okay, just calm down and try again.'_ However before she could fully gather the energy required to transport herself she saw Brave hurrying towards her looking worried.

"Stop! Raven!" Behind her came Knowledge and Wisdom. "Something happened." Panted the green cloaked emotion. Now that Brave was approaching Raven could see a large bruise spreading across her cheek and a long scratch on her leg. _'I didn't know my emotions could get hurt.'_ Raven thought bewildered.

Raven glanced around as Brave approached. She hadn't noticed upon first entering the realm but it was a wreck, Rocks were everywhere and most of the trees were now lying on the ground ripped up by their roots. She looked for Brave's home but found nothing save a pile of rocks where the house had once stood. The sky was now a shocking red almost obscuring the black that normally colored the Nevermore sky. Either Brave had gone on the rampage or something was _very_ wrong.

"What's going on?" Raven was glad that her emotions power over her diminished while in Nevermore. She still felt a distant anger which wasn't helpful at the moment. "How did you get hurt?" She asked Brave. "Wisdom? Knowledge? What's going on?"

Both emotions looked at their feet. Wisdom finally lifted her head and put an arm around Knowledge. "She tricked us." The maroon cloaked emotion said finally. "Rage tricked us."

"What do you mean she tricked you?" Asked Raven in disbelief.

"Love visited Rage early last night as you know. Love was surprised to find her relatively calm. Rage wasn't showing any unusual amount of anger, instead showing slightly less than normal." Raven nodded impatiently growing annoyed; Love had told her this already.

"A few hours later right after you left Dick's room?" She looked to Knowledge, who nodded, for confirmation. "While you were in the hallway moving towards Garfield's room, Love went back to Rage's realm to check on her and . . . Rage – attacked."

"How?" Raven broke in. There were barriers surrounding Rage's realm to prevent her form leaving and wrecking havoc in Nevermore. They'd held Rage at bay for almost three years.

"Knowledge is looking for an answer to that question." The bespectacled emotion nodded vigorously. "But Raven, she's" Wisdom stopped closing her eyes and seemed to steal herself. "Raven. Rage is trying to kill Love." Raven, now knowing why she was so angry, felt sickened and tired to cast off the emotion.

"WHAT?" It felt as though that was all she could say. "How can she _kill_ another one of my emotions? You guys _can't_ kill one another. Can you?" Frantically Raven felt for the happiness that Love said was the true sign of her presence in Raven's mind. It was there. It flickered occasionally as if fighting for it's right to be there, but it was still there. With a sigh Raven turned back to her other emotions.

"From what I've found," Knowledge started. "Enough anger can hurt, and eventually destroy, love. Which is what I'm sure Rage is attempting to do with Love right now. She's throwing almost 18 _years_ of anger and hurt at Love Raven."

"But Love's holding her own?" Raven asked in a shaky voice.

"Yes." Replied Knowledge. "We sent Affection and Happy to assist her. Their positive feelings should help her in the fight."

"And everyone else?" Raven questioned.

"In Timid's realm." Knowledge answered searching through the pages of a book. "Wisdom felt that Timid would be most comfortable in her own realm and that keeping everyone else as far away from the battle as possible would be best." Raven nodded remembering that Timid and Rage were on opposite sides of Nevermore. Silence filled the air as Raven put her head in her hands trying to calm herself.

"Found it." Knowledge shut the book triumphantly looking at Raven. "You, need to go help Love. She put aside some of her power and stored it in you. You still have it. Find her and help."

"How? Even if I find her, how do I give that power back?" Raven asked worriedly.

"Focus on Garfield. He allowed you to unlock Love and let her unleash her power. Focus on him and you should be able to transfer the power to Love."

"Remember Raven," Cut in Wisdom "Rage is _you_r emotion. You've kept her at bay for nearly three years. You can defeat her one more time."

"Okay. Where is she?"

"Her own realm. We managed to push her back that far." A sudden explosion sounded from far off and Brave, quiet util now, looked up swearing.

"Fuck! Let's _go_ Raven. She _tore apart_ my realm, I'm coming with you." Raven looked at Brave thinking rapidly. She could definitely be an asset in fights.

"Fine just don't be reckless. Rage's realm?" She asked Wisdom who nodded silently. "Okay. Brave grab onto me so we land in the same place." Brave gripped Raven's wrist tightly. "Are you guys coming?"

"No." Answered Wisdom. "We need to stay here and protect your physical body. Be careful and I'm sure everything will be fine."

"Bye." Raven said with a nod and then she was moving. For a second the only thing she could feel was Brave's grip and then her feet touched ground.

"Wait!" She said seizing Brave's cloak before the emotion could run off. They had landed at the very edge of Rage's realm the portal door just a few feet away. All Raven could see in any direction were rocks, dirt, and sand. Nothing grew in this realm. Nothing.

"We need a plan. Just charging out there won't help." Brave nodded resignedly. Raven sincerely wished she could meditate in Nevermore. Instead she leaned against a nearby rock that must have been twice as tall as she was and took deep, claming breaths.

'_How can we defeat Rage? Last time I only managed it because of Vic and Gar. Can I do it without them?' _Raven thought hard. '_Well. . . this time my emotions are working together unlike last time when it was me –v- Rage. But they can't help the way I can. Happy and Affection can only give feelings, not their actual power._

'_THAT'S IT!' _It was like an actual light bulb going off. Suddenly Raven knew what they could do. She could only hope it would work.

"Okay Brave, when we get to the fight I need you, Happy, and Affection to pour all of your power into me. I'll give it to Love along with the power _she_ gave _me_. Hopefully that will be enough."

Brave nodded vigorously. "No problem. I'll let Happy and Affection know you just focus on getting to Love. Don't worry about us. I'll keep everyone out of sight. With all the power we're giving Love, Rage should be too busy with her to bother with us."

Brave was obviously in her element. Her body was tense and alert, not with fear but readiness. Her eyes flickered looking for hiding spots as she calculated how to best help Raven. She knew what she was doing and Raven trusted her to watch the others and keep them safe.

"Are you ready?" Raven questioned. Brave nodded her mouth a grim line. "Okay. Start giving me your power once you know Affection and Happy are ready.

"And Brave?" The emotion turned fierce dark green eyes on her and for a split second Raven thought she was looking at Garfield. With a shake of her head she continued. "If I say 'fall back', _fall back._ We'll meet back in your realm. She held Brave's eyes until she nodded. "Let's go then."

Quietly they flew onwards as sounds of fighting grew louder. The closer they got the more destroyed rocks met their eyes. Huge cracks cut through the ground under their feet. 10 minutes of hard flying and Rage was insight. Luckily she was facing away from them and it was Love who saw their approach. She met their eyes for the briefest second.

"Rage. Give up!" Love called in her musical voice. Brave left Raven's side moving towards Affection and Happy who were crouched behind a nearby rock. Raven saw her whisper urgently to both emotions as she approached. "I'm going to win. You know that. Just stop fighting me. I'm not going anywhere."

"I'll _never_ give up!" Screamed Rage. Slowly Raven moved so that she was directly across from Brave and the others. Her movement was lost to Rage amid the rocks flying through the air in all directions. From this position she could see Rage's face and was caught off guard. Minutes passed as she stared transfixed at those four glowing red eyes. She looked away as a large spasm shook the ground, toppling a near-by tower of rocks, and Rage closed her eyes laughing.

"My power grows Love. Soon you will be dead and Raven's mind will be mine to use. Without you the other emotions will be easy to destroy or control."

Rage continued to rant but Raven turned away catching Brave's eye. Brave held up three fingers and Raven nodded. 3 . . . 2 . . . 1 . . . Pink, Green, and Purple jets of energy burst across the battlefield hitting Raven square in the chest.

Fighting to control the power she was being given Raven tapped into the power Love had released completely to her. Once all four of those powers were under her control she turned them on Love panting with effort.

As the energy struck Love it turned into a swirl of color. Love stumbled back for a second before gaining control of the massive amount of power. Her eyes began to glow as energy shot out of her hands. Sweat pouring down her face she directed the energy at Rage.

Rage braced herself for the attack. Screaming in pain as it his her she fought to use her own power. Raven felt fear wash over her as pinpricks of blood red worked their way through the other colors. The pinpricks grew larger, slowly growing until they could push back at Love's power.

Raven's fear grew as the red energy pushed Love's past the halfway point and slowly but surely towards Love herself. Before she really had time to think Raven heard herself yelling.

"Fall back! Everyone _fall back_. NOW!" Happy and Affection quickly teleported back to Brave's realm. Brave hesitated watching Love. Before Raven could remind Brave of her promise to listen the green cloaked emotion took off running. Love dropped to her knees unable to harness anymore of the power.

Raven watched in disbelief and fear and Brave tackled Rage from behind. Once Rage was down Raven realized what Brave had done. "Love! Get out!" Love was panting heavily as she stood up exhausted from the power that had been coursing through her body moments before. Shakily she took a deep breath before teleporting. A swish of her cloak and she was gone.

Raven waited for Brave to teleport before leaving herself. Right as she left she saw Rage get to her feet. Spotting her the red cloaked emotion let loose a stream of energy aimed at Raven's head. The empath left only a split second before the beam would have been upon her.

It was chaos back in Brave's realm.

Wisdom and Knowledge were moving among the other emotions trying to decipher what had happened in Rage's realm. Neither of them seemed to be getting very far however.

Brave was leaning against a fallen tree while Affection fussed over Brave's leg where a long, shallow, cut ran from mid-thigh to ankle. She'd gotten it while attacking Rage in order to allow Love an escape. The green cloaked emotion seemed well enough though and content to let Affection fuss.

Happy was sitting on the ground next to Brave chatting merrily with Affection. Every so often she'd be so overcome with joy she'd leap at Brave hugging her tightly. Raven smiled as she watched her most child-like emotion.

Love leaned against another fallen tree also watching Happy with a smile. She looked over as Wisdom drifted towards her, and raised a hand in greeting. Raven studied her carefully. Love looked fine, just a little tired. As Raven watched Love began explaining what had happened to Wisdom. Knowledge realized this and flew over to join the conversation.

Suddenly a voice sounded throughout Nevermore causing a cease in all other talking. Raven looked towards the sky where the voice seemed to be coming from.

"Raven? Raven are you in there?" _BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!_ A small part f the magic Raven had left to protect her body broke away directed by Wisdom towards the door. The voice sounded again muffled this time by the magic. Raven recognized it though.

"Rae?" It was Garfield and he sounded worried. "I just want to know if you're okay. Can't you just answer me? Please?"

Tearing her eyes away from Nevermore's increasingly red sky Raven turned to Knowledge. "How long have I been here?" She asked slightly concerned.

Knowledge shrugged her shoulders helplessly. "I don't know Raven. Time moves differently in Nevermore. You know that. It can speed up or slow down without reason. Especially when you're so involved in what's happening here. As long as you're here I can't say how long it's been."

Raven sighed heavily. In the silence that followed the alarm rang out through Raven's mind like a bell, easily heard in the quiet. Wisdom grabbed onto Raven's arm just in time. Amazed Raven stared at her unable to leave her mind.

"You can't leave Raven. Not with Rage acting the way she is." Wisdom said seriously.

"She's right." Knowledge chimed in. "If you use your powers outside of your head, in the real world, you could easily kill someone. It's too dangerous. You're more help to them right here for now."

Raven knew she was right. The control she had fought so hard to gain over her powers vanished almost completely when her mind was like his. Unfortunately that didn't make ignoring the alarm any easier.

Nor was it easy to ignore Garfield yelling for her. "Raven? Are you coming Raven? Fine. I'm not going either."

Moments later she heard his muffled argument with Dick and the vigorous "Thanks!" meaning he'd won. _'You moron.'_ She thought bitterly to herself. _'Go! They could need you!'_

Wisdom rested a hand on her shoulder. "Raven." Her voice was heavy the way it always was when she knew Raven wouldn't like what had to be said. "Block him _out_. We need your attention here, not outside your room." Raven gave a reluctant nod. However she made sure she would be able to here her name if it was called from the hallway.

After looking into the nevermore sky one more time she focused on the emotions around her. "Right." Everyone looked at her. "We need a plan. Quickly. Rage won't stay in her own realm for long and if we're not careful we'll be stuck pushing her back to her own realm again. Knowledge? Brave? We need ideas here."

"Well," Said Knowledge slowly. "I feel like we were definitely on the right track before with transferring the power. I'm just not sure where we went wrong." Holding her hand out expectantly a book appeared. "I'll see what I can find."

Raven turned towards Brave. "We need a battle plan Brave. The correct answer won't matter if we can't get close enough to touch her. And ideas on what we should do?"

"It's hard to say without knowing how to defeat her. I think decoys may be a good idea. If we could use Love herself that'd be ideal. Since Rage attacked her first we could use her as a way to get close."

Raven closed her eyes. "I don't like the idea of using _any_ of you as decoys. But, I'm afraid we might have to."

"I'll be fine Raven." Love said getting to her feet. She looked much better. The color had returned to her face and the tiredness that seemed so evident only moments ago was gone. Raven had a feeling hearing Garfield's voice had been a large part of this. "Don't worry about me. Just focus on defeating Rage."

Raven sighed. "Knowledge." Bright yellow eyes looked up from the book they had been pursuing. "I'm going to go check on everyone else and make sure they're okay. Let me know if you find anything okay?" Wisdom nodded before turning back to her book.

After talking quietly with each of her emotions she'd be ready to go. "Affection." She said coming to the purple cloaked emotion last. "Are you doing alright?"

"Oh yeah!" She said, happily squeezing Raven's arm. "Really I'm fine." Raven looked at her emotion carefully before smiling.

"That's great Affection." She had been worried the emotion wouldn't have, couldn't have, recovered so quickly. Then it had dawned on her that Affection had been fighting her very being all that time. As soon as she stopped everything had gone back to normal. "I'll be back soon." Affection gave her one of her bone-crushing hugs before waving good-bye.

With a deep breath Raven found herself in Timid's realm. It was much the same as when Victor and Garfield had visited. Some of the walls that represented Raven's fear had grown but many more had shrunk. Timid's maze had become more manageable; a sign that Raven was confronting at least _some_ of her fears.

Wisdom had hidden everyone in the center of the maze. Raven knew better then to try and fly over the walls. Sighing she picked her way through the turns meeting only two dead ends. That was a sign that Raven was dealing with her remaining fears in a healthy way. With a triumphant smile she turned the corner and saw . . .

Hope.

Hope was sitting next to Timid making soothing noises. She spotted Raven and delivered Timid into the hands of Stubborn before approaching Raven.

"We're seeing an awful lot of each other lately." Raven greeted. Hope gave a gracious smile and a sigh of relief. "Would _this_" Raven made a vague, all encompassing motion with her hand, "be what you felt was coming last time I was here? You know, a few hours ago. I think."

Hope nodded sagely. "I wasn't sure what it would be, just that it would be dangerous. And remember Raven, we don't know how long you've been here." Raven nodded conceding to her point. "How are you doing?" Hope asked anxiously. "Do you see why I was worried?"

"Yes, I really do. But I think I'm all right. Except for occasional burst of anger she has a hard time getting to me when I'm in Nevermore. She can't do much except trap me here."

Stepping forward Hope placed a hand on each side of Raven's forehead. She closed her eyes briefly before stepping back and letting her hands fall.

Curious Raven closed her eyes mentally casting about for some sign Hope had been there. It didn't take long to find a small build up of Hope's power that had been left there. Still unsure she looked questioningly at Hope.

"It's for you to use if Rage attacks you directly. You may not be able to tap into the emotion through me quickly enough. This way it's right there if you need it." Raven nodded, it made sense. Though she didn't think Rage would attack _her_ – it'd be too hard.

"I need to go talk with everyone but you're staying with them for now right?" Hope nodded. "Okay. I guess I'll see you when this is all over then." She gave Hope a brief hug before moving to a nearby emotion.

Raven talked to all of the emotions present in Timid's realm. It took awhile especially when she was to ignore the alarm _and_ Garfield more than once. She was just detaching Timid from her cloak when Knowledge's voice shook the realm. "Raven. Come back."

The voice set Timid in a whole new round of tears and Raven was forced to leave her in the hands of Stubborn who seemed determined to help. After hurried good-byes to all present she teleported back to Brave's realm.

Knowledge was waiting for her.

"Are the other okay?" Raven nodded uneasily. "Good. We're going to need them.

"I was right earlier. We do need to transfer power. But we were going about it all wrong. Before we were using you as a _gateway_, we should have been using you as the focus point."

Brave raised an eyebrow. "Will we be able to give her enough power to beat Rage? There's only," She looked around, quickly counting "six of us if you two give us all of your power. And I'm assuming you two can't do that?" She sighed as Knowledge and Wisdom both shook their heads. "So the four of us will be enough?"

Knowledge hesitated before shaking her head. "I – we," She looked to Wisdom who nodded her head encouragingly. "We have an idea. We can gather everyone Timid's realm and Raven can use their power as well."

"Are we supposed to _bring_ them into Rage's realm?" Brave asked in a disgusted voice. "Timid and Guilt would be besides themselves. We can't do that to them."

Raven merely watched. She'd been suspecting something like this. She didn't like it al all. However the alarm bell had rung again and she'd heard Gar's voice at least twice. With no clue as to how long she'd been there it was hard to know if he had reason to be concerned. The sooner they fixed this the sooner Raven could get out of her head.

"Knowledge." She said speaking for the first time about this new plane. "Is this really the only way?" Knowledge nodded grimly. "Then we have to do this. I don't like it anymore than you." Raven said before Brave could cut in. "But there's no choice."

Raven closed her eyes thinking. "Brave." She said opening them. "Rage's main target is still Love correct?" The green-eyed emotion nodded. "Love. How do you feel about becoming a moving target?"

"Not a problem." Love said calmly. Raven nodded.

"Brave, how should we do this? Preferably something quick so that Timid and Guilt aren't there for long. We want to make this as easy as possible for everyone there."

"Okay. First off, Knowledge and Wisdom, can you give Raven _any_ of your power? She could store it for the fight. We're going to need everything we've got."

The two emotions conferred. "We can give her a slight amount of our powers." Wisdom said finally. "Knowledge feels, and I agree, that most of our power must be directed towards protecting your body. We can't say how long you've been in Nevermore, but we're trying to make sure you're body's getting water every two of _our_ hours." Wisdom motioned for Knowledge to join her.

"Come here Raven. We'll give you what power we can, but I'll warn you now, it won't be much. We need to save our energy. Especially if this doesn't work."

"I understand." Raven said softly. "Thank you." Wisdom smiled warmly and stepped so that she was directly in front of the Empath who closed her eyes. Gently she laid a hand on Raven's forehead. A soft maroon light seeped through Raven's closed eyes. As it faded she opened her eyes.

Now Knowledge was standing before her eyes keen and alert. Raven closed her eyes and waited for the yellow light to fade. Once it was gone she opened her eyes once again. "Can you find it?" Asked Knowledge.

Raven cast about her mind and found much smaller amounts of power from both emotions residing next to Hope's. "Yes." Raven answered. Knowledge nodded satisfied and Brave approached Raven.

"We need to go get the others." She looked around at the emotions surrounding her. "Hope's in Timid's realm keeping the peace. And so is Stubborn." She seemed to be talking to herself. After a few moments she looked up eyes searching. "Affection." The emotions turned large purple eyes on Brave. "We need you to come with us. I'm sure Timid and Guilt would love to see you."

With a squeal of joy Affection tackled Brave in a hug. Brave gently pushed the other emotion off of her and sat up. "Are you ready Raven?" The Empath nodded wondering why Brave wanted to birng Affection. "Okay. We'll be back soon. Then we'll get ready and we'll beat her. You guys rest."

"Brave could I talk to you for a second?" Raven asked. "Go on Affection we'll be there soon." Affection nodded, gave them each a hug, and disappeared. Brave walked over to Raven as Knowledge and Wisdom sat down to talk to Happy and Love. "Why are we bringing Affection?" Raven asked plainly confused once Brave reached her.

"Because she's good at this." Brave answered. "I'm not gentle enough to make Timid and Guilt follow me without tears being involved. I may be able to protect them but I can't do _this_." As Brave explained her reasoning Raven was reminded quite forcibly that there were multiple types of bravery.

"Okay." Raven said. "Ready to go?" Brave nodded. "I'll see you in a second then." Raven closed her eyes opening them only after she felt the ground of Timid's realm below her feet. Brave appeared a second later and the two set off throughout the maze after Affection. They emerged in the center looking for the purple-cloaked emotion.

Raven found her wedged between Timid and Guilt an arm slung around each. "Affection!" She called softly hoping to not startle Timid. "Start sending them to Brave's realm. Stay with Timid if she panics." Affection nodded and whispered something into the gray cloaked emotion's ear. Timid hesitated before nodding reluctantly and soon the three were gone.

"Hope? Are you coming?" Raven asked the white cloaked emotion. "We could use your help."

"Yes. But I'm coming to make sure emotions like Timid and Guilt keep giving you their power. You're going to have to get by on what I've already given you. Without the rest I won't be able to help the others. You'll do fine though. I'm sure of it."

"Thank you." Raven said. "Everyone doing well?" Hope nodded. "I'd better round them up. Could you go check on Timid for me? I don't want Affection feeling overwhelmed." Hope smiled before fading into a white light. "One problem solved." She muttered to herself.

"Raven? Raven come out! We're worried about you Raven_."_ Gritting her teeth Raven forced herself to once again ignore her teammate. Garfield's voice faded and Raven tried not to wonder how long she'd been gone.

She moved over to Stubborn and Apathy praying silently for Stubborn to be on her side. If the emotion had decided to stay this would become extremely difficult very quickly.

Luckily her fears were unfounded. Stubborn was more than willing to help. She was in the process of getting Apathy to move into Brave's realm. "Get going! Come on Apathy, let's _go_!" Stubborn was trying to pull Apathy to her feet.

"Apathy." Said Raven. "Come on. Get up. You'll be able to sit in peace for a bit if you just move now." Apathy looked at her. "Get up." She repeated forcefully. With a sigh that could probably be heard in Azarath Apathy got to her feet and disappeared in a ball of brown light.

"Thank you Stubborn." Raven told her emotion gratefully. "You can head over to Brave's realm now. She'll explain things once everyone is there."

"Okay Rae. See you there." Raven watched her disappear in a ball of dark blue light wishing Stubborn had never heard Gar's nickname for her. It was, of course, almost impossible to make the emotion stop using.

Looking around Raven saw most of her emotions had already left. As soon as Rude, the last emotion, left Raven followed her to Brave's realm.

"Is that everyone?" Brave asked from the front of the group as the others quieted down. Raven nodded tiredly. "Okay, now that we're all here Knowledge will explain our plan. I'd like to stress how important it is that _everyone_ follows this plan. Otherwise we're all in serious danger." Even Apathy paid strict attention to Knowledge as she stepped before the group.

"As you all know" She began, cloak fluttering slightly around her ankles. "Our homes are under attack from Rage. Some of us have already felt this destruction." Knowledge said with nods to both Brave and Happy, who, Raven remembered, had a realm bordering Rage.

"We can only defeat her by working together. Raven needs our help. As her emotions it is our duty to give it to her. Each of you has been called here for one reason. To give Raven that help.

"Our plan is to enter Rage's realm as a large group. Love has agreed to distract Rage temporarily. While she does that the rest of you have one goal: give Raven your power. You _cannot_ stop until she defeats Rage. Timid, you _have_ to keep going. Hope will help but you can't give up. Just keep going.

"Once all of you are giving Raven your energy Love will join you. Hopefully allowing Raven enough power to beat Rage and secure her in her own realm for good,

"As Brave said a few minutes ago it's crucial that everyone participates in this plan. If only one person holds back Rage will win. We cannot allow that to happen. Raven can defeat her but only with our help. Are there any questions?"

Timid raised a hand looking frightened. Affection squeezed her shoulders. "How long will we have to be in R- Rage's realm?" She squeaked out looking terrified.

"Unfortunately," Knowledge answered. "We won't know until we're there. But, Raven and Love will be the only ones who aren't taking cover. The rest of you will be able to hide behind the rocks in Rage's realm. Stay hidden and you'll be in no danger. Anything else?"

No one had anymore questions and Knowledge announced that everyone would have a bit of time to prepare before the attack began. Raven watched as Knowledge, Wisdom, and Love worked their way through her remaining emotions securing each's agreement to help.

Her emotions themselves diverged into somewhat smaller groups but the groups stayed near one another. Raven watched feeling faintly amazed by her emotion's willingness to cooperate with not only her, but also one another. Happy was braiding Timid's hair while Affection taught her a clapping game Raven vaguely remembered her mother teaching her as a little girl. Nearby Stubborn was talking to Apathy cajoling the emotion into helpfulness.

In over 17 years Raven had never seen them so calm during an emergency. She knew better than to question it though. If they could stay calm Wisdom's plan had a much better chance of working.

Raven moved over to a nearby tree and sat leaning against it in the hope she could rest for a bit before the fighting began. Those hopes were soon dashed though. "Raven?" She gritted her teeth. _"_Come on. I know you're in there. Just come out. Whatever's wrong, whatever you're going through – we'll help you fix it. We don't care how bad it is, we're worried. Just let us know you're okay." Raven shut her eyes and pushed Garfield's voice away from her. Once again she wondered just how long she'd been gone.

She opened her eyes to see Brave standing over her. "Timid's starting to get anxious." The green cloaked emotion informed her. "We should think about going soon. I don't want her to panic before we even get there."

Raven nodded in agreement. "Is everyone ready?" She questioned. Brave nodded. "Okay, Brave. You're going to be in charge. Hope's coming mostly for show and Love's our distraction. Just tell me where we need to be and everyone will be there."

"Okay. We're gonna leave in a few minutes then." She motioned to Wisdom and Knowledge who started herding the others together. "Listen up everyone!" Called the green cloaked emotion. "We're going to enter Rage's realm in just a few minutes.

"Love, Affection, and Happy you guys are going to be the first to enter the realm. Love, keep her busy. Do whatever you have to. Affection and Happy get to cover and wait for everyone else to show up. The rest of you will follow. Go _where ever_ Happy and Affection have taken refuge. Quickly. Timid and Guilt, you two will be the last ones over with Hope.

"Once everyone else is ready Raven and I will follow. As _soon_ as I tell you to do so start feeding Raven your power. Once we're all doing that and Raven has unlocked the power stored inside of her Love can stop focusing on Rage and give her attention to Raven.

"Raven should become powerful enough to beat Rage. Any questions?" Brave waited a few seconds. "Okay guys," She said to Raven's three happiest emotions. "This is it. We'll see you soon. Be careful."

Raven was momentarily trampled when three bodies hit her in a mass of hugging. After all three had gotten their fill of hugs they left feeling both excited and confident.

She watched the last bits of colored energy disappear wishing she felt as confident as her emotions. Raven waited with Brave as her emotions disappeared in small groups. Stubborn took Apathy and finally only Timid, Guilt, and Hope were left. Soon they too were gone and only Raven, Brave, Knowledge, and Wisdom remained.

"You should go." Knowledge said after a minute. "Stick to the plan and everything will be fine." She and Wisdom hugged Raven tightly. "Tap into our power first. It will be harder to do if you're trying to control everyone else's at the same time."

"I will." Raven said quietly. "Are you ready Brave?" The green cloaked emotion responded with an expression that read _Always _and smiled predatorily. "Let's go then. We'll see you guys soon."

Brave grabbed Raven's wrist and once again they teleported to Rage's realm. A rock exploded at the same time they arrived showering both emotions in bruises. Raven started to use her healing energy only to remember that the power was needed elsewhere. "Start tapping into the energy." Brave commanded ignoring her bruises. "I'll give you a minute before telling the others to get going. Okay?" Raven nodded silently her face set.

Vaguely Raven noticed Love a ways off doing her best to make sure Rage kept her back towards Raven's other emotions. Rage was cackling; obviously she though Love had been sent to face her alone. Talk about Blind Rage.

Taking a deep breath she quickly found the stored power. Grabbing it she wrapped the energy around her very being. It was as though a screen had been placed over her vision. Through yellow, maroon, and white light she could see Brave ordering her other emotions to start loosing their own power.

Raven gasped involuntarily as Brave, Stubborn, and Timid hit her at once. She had never had so much control over her powers or feelings and it was beautifully terrifying. Finally the only emotion she was waiting for was Love.

As Love turned her attention to Raven a voice rang out across the battlefield. _"_Raven? Raven! Are you in there? Come _out_. Kory made you some tea. When was the last time you even _ate_ something?"

Raven didn't have energy or time to spare trying to ignore Garfield's voice. Love's energy was already hitting her chest when it changed color. It suddenly became a bright white, brighter than even Hope's, with other colors crackling and flickering through it like electricity.

Raven could feel the difference in the white energy. It was stronger and for the first time she was confident she could beat Rage.

As she turned to face Rage it was Garfield's voice that she heard. Rage, as always, had a few things to say though.

"Aww lookit. Raven's trying to hurt me. Haven't we already proven you can't beat me without your friends? You're too _weak_ by yourself."

"That's what you think." Growled Raven. Taking a deep breath she carefully maintained her control. Losing control of so much power would be devastating, even in her own head.

With a pushing motion Raven directed the energy at Rage. Four red eyes widened in surprise and pain as the power hit her. Only a few seconds passed before Rage could take no more and fell to her knees.

Raven was about to drop the energy when she heard Brave yelling, "Don't! We'll move Rage. Walk around the border if the realm and build a wall out of the energy. She won't be able to get past it."

Wearily Raven nodded. She walked the perimeter of the realm slowly, her tiredness becoming an overwhelming force. Once the wall was complete she collapsed only to have an array of emotions run for her.

"I'm fine guys. Just – just tired." Affection helped her sit up, leaning Raven against a rock taller than any of them. Raven looked down too find her legs, arms, and (if the ache was any indication) back and stomach covered in bruises and her energy spent.

Brave knelt in front of her sporting a fair share of bruising. "Can you teleport?" She asked immediately. Raven paused momentarily before nodding. She had just enough energy to teleport once and still be able to leave her mind. "Come on then. Back to my realm."

With Brave's help she returned. Wisdom and Knowledge bustled over but brave directed them towards Love. "Rae?" Raven looked up to show she was listening. "Hope and Stubborn are taking everyone back to their own realm. You can get out of here. Wisdom said to come back but _only_ once you're fully healed. You could hurt yourself otherwise."

Raven took Brave's extended hand and got to her feet, weariness in every bone and muscle. "Thank you Brave. For everything. You most likely saved not only Love but Nevermore itself." The green cloaked emotion turned a brilliant shade of red and Raven left with a smile on her tired face.

She awoke on her bed sitting on the same position as when she'd closed her eyes. The light pouring through her window told her it was almost dinnertime. _'Five? Six?'_ She wondered. _'Maybe I've only been gone for a day or so.'_ She thought trying to be optimistic but knowing the truth was probably very different.

Moving from the lotus position was not only slow but also incredibly painful. It felt as though she'd been sitting for ages. Eye closed against the stiffness it never crossed her mind to see if the bruises from Nevermore had carried over to the real world.

The door had never seemed so far. The tiredness she'd felt in her mind was still with her though and she was forced to stop halfway in order to rest. Sitting on the floor she wondered what exactly had happened to her body. It was then a delayed thought reached her. _'Garfield.'_ Her eyes grew wide. _'I have to let him know I wasn't ignoring him.'_ She forced her body to listen to her commands and stand up once again.

Once she reached the closed door she pushed the button to open it and cautiously made her way out into the hall. Taking small steps Raven eased her way forward and away from her room. Just past her doorway she stumbled and was amazed when strong _green_ arms wrapped around her, gently lowering her to the ground.

She motioned for a cup and vaguely heard him say something. "Garfield." Her voice, dry and scratchy, gave out on her. He leaned with an ear close to her mouth as she tried again. "I heard you calling my name. I just couldn't come. I'm sorry." Her voice was done cooperating.

"Don't worry about that Rae." His voice was so kind and soothing she wanted to cry.

Raven was losing consciousness. She wasn't sure but she thought they were footsteps nearby and then someone was carrying her away. Was she on a bed now? Raven wasn't sure. And unfortunately for Raven, her eyes weren't cooperating much either, not right now at least. What she did know was that her body was tired and hungry. It was screaming _that_ at her with all its remaining strength.

Raven's last conscious thought was that the lights were too bright before she allowed her body to slip into one of its more gentle healing comas. The trance would last hours instead of days and her body would do what it could with the time.


	8. First kisses and More Eplanations

**Author's Note:** *Looks at the last update* Oh goodness. All I can say is that I'm sorry it took so long for me to get this to you. My recovery from having my wisdom teeth out was much harder than I expected (fainting was involved), then school started up, and right when I thought I could get some serious typing/writing done we had an infestation of mites. Which, if you were wondering, made me scratch myself bloody. I should be working on my research paper now but I felt so bad about not updating that I decided to do this first.

Once again thank you to the anonymous reviewer who I have no other way of thanking.

Jarec: fear not, Victor is rather involved in the next chapter. So you'll see plenty of him soon.

Thank you all for being so patient and i hope you'll review, even if it's just to tell me I need to update mroe often. I really hope this was at least worth the wait.

**Chapter 8**

**First Kisses and More Explanation**

Garfield blinked running a hand distractedly through his hair. Raven reached out automatically, smoothing it back down - somewhat. _'Wait. He needs to break the silence. You know that, just give him a minute.'_

One or twice he opened his mouth as if to speak only to close it again. _'What if he doesn't want to be my - friend anymore? He thought my emotions were under control. We all did. Now he knows how dangerous I am. A dangerous half-demon. Damnit.'_ Tears pooled in her eyes threatening to overwhelm her. She could control her emotions. She _would_ control them.

He sighed looking up from his hands. Raven tried to gage his feelings but his face was unreadable and his mind closed. After what felt like an eternity he spoke. "Are you okay?" Now concern flooded his features and emotions.

Raven stared back blankly. She'd been expecting a thousand different responses. None of them centered on her well being though. She tried processing his question to no avail. "What?" She asked eventually.

"Are you okay?" Garfield repeated slowly. "I mean-" He stumbled on. "Look at your legs, all that bruising, and how small you've gotten."

"Bruises?" She said in surprise. Raven pushed the covers back slowly before painfully pulling her legs towards her. _'What's he talking about? I just saw my legs when I changed. Didn't I?'_ Thinking back she realized she _hadn't_ looked at her legs, or any other part of her body, mind too preoccupied with Garfield's outburst.

Pulling her pant leg up to her knee she gave a small gasp. Both of her legs were covered in small bruises. Thinking back she breathed, "Rage." Apparently the injuries inflicted on her in Nevermore had been severe enough to carry over out of her mindscape.

Remembering what else Garfield had said she slowly slid a hand under her hoodie feeling a sense of dread. Sure enough when she touched her ribs any trace of body fat was gone, leaving behind only skin and bone. Raven ran her hands over even shaper hipbones next, mourning the small curves she had lost.

"Rae?" He scooted closer to her on the bed. She looked up; almost unwillingly it seemed, tears swimming in her eyes. "Raven, c'mere." Garfield became a cat creeping up behind her before morphing back to his default form. His strong, if skinny, arm wrapped around her waist, tightening as it adjusted to the new weight- or lack therefore of.

Garfield slid down so that he was lying next to her and she turned into him silently crying. Raven had been scared. She hadn't realized how scared until this very moment. Garfield held on tightly kissing her hair and whispering comfort into her ear.

As her tears dried her looked Garfield in the eye giving him a shaky smile. "I'm okay." Raven assured him. "And before you ask, I was crying from relief." He looked at her plainly confused. "There were a million things running through my head about what you would say. 'Are you okay?' was not among them." For the first time she looked down cheeks reddening slightly. "I'd expected you'd want nothing to do with me." She admitted in a rather quiet voice.

"Is that what you think?" Garfield demanded in a pained voice sitting up. Raven struggled until she was sitting up as well. "We've been teammates for over three years. Don't you get it yet? Well let me spell it out for you. We. Like. You.

"It doesn't matter who your father is or what you are, Raven. The Raven I know and that I _love_ is someone I'd never turn my back on." Garfield blushed after realizing what he had admitted but made no move to retract the statement.

"Love?" Raven asked shakily. He nodded not meeting her eyes and blushing more than ever. "Oh." She looked around wildly. Are you sure? I mean – I – I'm a -" That was as far as she got before strong lips caught hers effectively silencing any rambling.

Raven had never been kissed before but she immediately knew Garfield was good at it. Her head felt as is it were spinning and the only real things in the world were Garfield's hand under her chin, and his lips pressing onto hers.

Garfield eased her back so that they were both lying down again. She clung to him as he kissed her relishing in his smell and the feel of his skin on hers. Finally he pulled away burying his head in the hollow of her neck.

Raising his head to look at her he asked, "Does that answer your question?" He smiled slyly and slid his eyes to the clock. "9:50" He read aloud. "We've still got 10 minutes."

Raven who had been staring off in a daze snapped back to reality. "I'm sure _that's_ a visual the rest of the team really needs." She said dryly. Garfield laughed his breath tickling her ear.

"The Raven I know and that I _love_. . ." Garfield kept talking but he wasn't entirely sure what he was saying anymore. _'Did I just say I love her? Not really how I planned to do this. _What_ was I thinking?_' He could feel his cheeks darkening as Raven stared at him.

"Love?" She asked looking nothing short of amazed. Garfield nodded dropping his eyes to the bed sheets. _'Fuck. She doesn't like me back. Fuck, fuck, _fuck_! Maybe I can play it off?'_

Just as Garfield opened his mouth, fully prepared to ramble on about sibling love, Raven spoke. "Are you sure? I mean – I – I'm a -" He looked up into her eyes and saw her panic and fear. That was enough to decide his action for him.

Before he knew what he was doing Garfield was kissing Raven. After a moment she started kissing back and he thanked whatever God there was that Raven hadn't blown him to pieces.

He wrapped the hand that wasn't under her chin around her back guiding Raven onto the bed. Garfield kissed her for a few minutes before he rested his head on her shoulder breathing in her wonderful green-apple smell.

"Does that answer your question?" He asked raising his head a few inches. He was rewarded by a beautiful blushing Raven. The clock caught his eye. "9:50" He told her. "We've still got 10 more minutes." Garfield cocked an eyebrow suggestively and gave her a wolfish smile.

Raven looked down at him. "I'm sure _that's_ a visual the rest of the team really needs." She replied in a dry, humorless voice. Garfield put his head back onto her shoulder laughing quietly.

He couldn't believe it. He'd just _kissed_ Raven. Something he'd wanted to do for over a year now, and was starting to fear he'd never be able to.

Through the daze of her first kiss Raven started to think somewhat rationally. Dick probably wouldn't appreciate finding his teammates entwined in one another's arms and Victor would definitely tease Garfield to no end. Sighing she sat up, again, pulling Gar with her.

Raven groaned as she realized she would have to retell her entire journey to her friends. Garfield guessed what the problem was easily enough. "Don't worry Rae." He said draping an arm around her. "Just give them the short version. Everyone will understand if you don't want to go through explaining it again, at least, not yet. Even Dick. You can always tell him later, privately. Calm down."

"You're right." She admitted. Of course they would understand. Garfield and Raven talked quietly for the next few minutes until the door opened to reveal Dick, Kory, and Victor.

"Time's up guys." Dick said as he approached the bed. "Everything okay?" Both teens nodded and Dick smiled giving Kory's hand a small squeeze. "Glad to hear it.

"Raven, I know this isn't what you want too do right now, but we need to know what happened. You disappeared without warning and scared the shit out of everyone on this team. If we're going to live like a family, we need to trust one another like family."

"I know, and you're right." Raven answered looking Dick square in the eye. "But is there any possibility I could give you the short version?" Dick cocked an eyebrow and Victor leaned against the wall obviously waiting to see what Dick would say. Kory just stared at Raven, a little perplexed looking. "If you want the details," And now she spoke to everyone. "I'd be glad to tell you the finer points in a few days. For now, would an overview be okay?"

Dick heard the pleading note in Raven's voice. It was so rare for her to ask anything of the team, and understanding was easy to give. Especially when it was obvious Raven had been through a rough two weeks. Far rougher than those two weeks had been for the rest of the team.

"Okay Raven." Dick watched her eyes close in momentary relief. "But, I'm telling you now, I'll probably need a more specific account of what happened in the coming days."

"I wasn't expecting any different." Raven assured him. She looked around at her teammates and felt Affection well up inside of her.

"A new emotion joined the already existing ones a few weeks ago." She started purposefully skirting around the emotion's name. For one her voice was animated, freed from it's seemingly endless monotone. "On the advice of Wisdom she went to visit my other emotions, including Rage. Rage seemed fine, even a little less angry than normal and the new emotion moved on.

"One night I was in the hallway around 3:30 in the morning," She saw Gar and Dick blushing slightly neither boy knowing about the others nightmares. "It turns put Rage had tricked my emotions. Anger," She added softly, "Can be cunning as well as brash. She broke free of her realm and tried to kill my other emotions. Afterwards she would have been free to enslave my mind and body, finally carrying out her terrible wrath."

Raven took a breath and tried to resist slipped into her patented monotone. "With the combined powers of my other emotions Knowledge and Brave were able to devise a plan that would allow me to defeat Rage. As far as we can tell Rage has been trapped for good this time. I'll have to go back in a few weeks to check on her and see if I can re-enforce the barriers trapping her."

Garfield, seeing that Raven was uncomfortable, grabbed her hand with the arm that wasn't around her shoulders.

The rest of the team merely stared in what could only be described an awe-struck silence. Raven, one of their best friends, had spent two weeks fighting for her very _mind_. Dick was the first to find his voice.

"Thank you." He said quietly. "I do have some questions but they can all wait for a few days."

He started as Kory poked his side. Subtly (for Kory) she pointed to her teammates joined hands with a badly suppressed squeal. Dick smiled before nudging Vic on his other side. The metal-man's face spilt into a wide grin. "We'll, uh, leave you two alone." Dick said with a smirk.

"Actually I want to talk to you Dick. About something else. In private." The rest of the team, Garfield included, looked confusedly at Raven who paid them no mind. She was staring at Dick mentally telling him she couldn't care less if they were alone or not.

With a grim look Dick nodded. "It's alright Kory." He told the alien girl who held his hand. She was looking between her love and her best friend more than a little confused and concerned. "I'll explain it later." He whispered softly into her ear. Kory nodded looking uncertain. Giving him a brief hug, she left.

Raven watched her go feeling remorse pull on her heart. She could feel worry and self-consciousness pouring off her best friend. Silently she resolved to talk about that as well. Dick had no idea his girlfriend – were they officially dating? - Was so worried about how he saw her.

"Everything okay?" Garfield asked Raven one ear bent in half.

"Yes." Raven replied smiling. "I'll see you tomorrow okay?"

"Yeah, I'll see you." He gave her a quick but strong hug. "Don't go anywhere this time. Vic, wanna play video games?" he asked heading towards the door.

"Man, I _killed_ your high score five days ago. This won't even be competition." Victor stopped as they reached the door. "If you guys need anything we'll be right in the Common Room, 'kay?" He said sincerely. Once both teens had nodded he left with Garfield.

"You know what this is about." Raven said pointedly as she carefully pulled her legs so that she was sitting in the lotus position. "You can sit, you know." She pointed to the end of the bed and Dick jumped up, lightly landing in a position similar to Raven's. "Do I have to start or will you?" Raven was clearly determined to get straight to the point.

"I don't suppose it will help," Dick said closing his eyes. "To tell you that they don't usually _get_ so bad? Not anymore at least."

"Not really, no." Answered Raven. "Your parents died over eight years ago." She said gently, resisting the urge to let Affection loose at him. "I could understand if it was near the anniversary, but," She shook her head looking sad. "It's not. That's still five month away." She stopped for a minute studying him before going on carefully. "It's natural to miss them. And I know that Bruce still mourns for his parents." She tactfully left out that that was what fueled his quest.

"But Dick, please, let me help you. I can stop the nightmares. Your memories of your parents won't change in anyway. The nightmares will simply go away. Reliving their deaths- it doesn't help. You _know_ that Dick. You know it isn't healthy."

"What," Dick opened his eyes slowly. "What would you need to do exactly?

"Remember when I entered your mind to help fight Slade?" Dick nodded shortly. The memory was still a sore subject for him. "It would be a lot like that. I would go into your mind and create a barrier so to speak. Separating your memories of that night from your dreams, making the nightmares all but impossible.

"You'd still have complete access to your memories though. The only thing this would affect is the nightmares. Please, just think about it." Raven finished the smallest note of pleading escaping into her voice. "I won't even be able to do anything for a few weeks. It takes a _lot_ of energy and my powers are a little worn down."

"I'll think about it. Honest Raven. Thank you for the offer. Really. Well," Dick said hopping back off the bed. "I should probably go-"

"Actually," Raven broke in. "That's not all."

"It's not?" Asked Dick wearily sitting back down.

"It's about Kory. She's okay!" Raven added hurriedly, as her friend looked alarmed. "But Dick – Kory's really self-conscious. She's worried about how you see her compared to Earth girls. Kory said-" Raven paused but forced herself on. "Kory said that she's afraid you don't think she's pretty."

Dick's blue eyes opened wider than Raven had known to be entirely possible. "What did you tell her?" He demanded in a voice that bordered rather dangerously on squeaky.

"What do you _think_ I told her?" Raven asked the whirlwind day making her snap. "I said that of course you thought she was pretty and told her about Amazons."

"Amazons?" Dick repeated with a small smirk on his face.

"Oh be quiet." Raven replied massaging her temples. "I don't suppose you've ever told her she was pretty?" His guilty silence was answer enough. "Just make sure she knows you care. Kory's people are vocal about their feelings. For the time being you're going to have to be as well. She really cares about you Dick, don't hurt her."

"Trust me, that was never my intention." He leaned a little closer to Raven, concerned mind brushing with her ever so lightly. "Are you okay? I'm sure you've had a rough few weeks but you're feeling all right? Or as alright as you can be?"

Raven smiled softly. "Yeah, I'm okay. I never thought I'd be happy to see the medlab but," She shrugged lightly. "Never say never right?" Lowering her voice a bit Raven added, "Thank you."

"No problem." He smiled and it appeared a little less complicated than his normal smile, full of secrets and fears, had ever seemed. "I'm gonna get some sleep, but if you need anything just use your communicator. I'm sure Gar, if no one else, will be here." Dick said smiling evilly.

"Good night Dick." Raven said raising her eyebrows. "Now go say good night to your girlfriend." Dick blushed and started walking towards her. Raven allowed a smirk of her own to cross her face. "I'll see you after breakfast."

Dick, on his way to the door, stopped and turned around. "We're eating breakfast in here tomorrow. Everybody wants to stay close to you." Dick headed out the door with a small nod.

Raven smiled to herself, happy to be back among her friends. Turning the lights off and with her back to the door Raven settled down to sleep for the first night in weeks.

Two floors up Garfield was having more trouble getting to bed. Even though he _knew_ Raven was two floors below him his animal instincts weren't buying it.

Occasionally Garfield would be overcome with the urge to run through the Tower at night and make sure all was well. With a small groan (he'd barely slept these past few weeks and apparently wouldn't be getting much tonight) Garfield dropped from the top bunk. Becoming a Greyhound he worked his way through the top floor. He resolved to follow his normal path only allowing himself to enter the medlab once he knew all else was well. Aside from Dick being in Kroy's room (Garfield could hear them talking softly) all was normal in the tower.

Finally he let himself enter the medlab as an amoebae, sneaking under the door so as not to wake Raven. Once in the room he morphed back to default quietly crossing the floor. Reaching the bed he looked down at her peaceful face sighing softly.

Gently Garfield touched her too-thin face willing to risk waking her just for the simple comfort of touch. A few days ago Garfield was wondering if he'd ever see Raven again. It seemed like he was dreaming now after so many sleepless nights.

The human part of his brain was telling him to head back to bed, that he needed sleep. Raven was obviously fine and there was no point in standing there.

The part of his mind that the Beast controlled roared his anger at such a stupid idea. If Garfield went back upstairs he'd be unaware of any dangers posed to Raven's health. Only the stupidest animal would leave its mate alone as she recovered. It was his job to protect her.

Garfield would have argued with the Beast about calling Raven his mate but knew it was pointless. The Beast was notoriously hard to argue with. It only got worse when a friend (especially Raven) was hurt. It was also hard to make the Beast see anything in terms outside of "mate" or "pack".

Resigned Gar morphed into a Great Dane ready to sleep on the hard floor. However as he walked in a circle trying to get comfortable Raven began to stir. He froze realizing that the _click_ of his nails on the tiled floor must have woken her. Garfield didn't move a muscle hoping she'd be able to fall back asleep.

Luck, as it always felt, was not on his side. Raven pushed herself up form the bed rubbing sleep from her eyes and pushing her hair out of her face. Garfield, about to morph, paused stunned by her accidental beauty. Raven looked around the medlab starting as she caught sight of the large green Great Dane watching her. Garfield quickly morphed back.

"What are you doing in here Garfield? It's," She glanced as the clock by her bed. "Four o'clock in the morning." She gazed harder at him, the last traces of sleep leaving her face. "Is everything alright?"

"Yeah." He responded sheepishly. "I dunno. I guess after two weeks of sleeping by your door it felt weird not to be close by. I-" Garfield stopped looking more embarrassed than ever. "I got worried. And- and so did the Beast. You know there's no reasoning with him." Raven could tell he was being completely honest.

"Thank you for the concern." The pale empath said stunned by his caring attitude. "But I _am_ fine. You should go to bed. I'd hate for you to loose anymore sleep because of me."

"I could sleep on the floor!" Suggested the changeling hopefully. "Dogs don't mind floors as long as they have room to curl up." He lied brightly. Floors were hard and gave him backaches. "And if you started to feel sick or something I'd be right here!" He finished hoping she would agree.

Raven looked at her boyfriend. It was painfully obvious he was afraid of leaving her alone. Nervousness, fear, and worst of all shame, were seeping out him filling the air.

Her silence made Garfield nervous. Had he made her angry? _'Maybe I should just leave. Especially if she's upset with me.'_

"Actually Rae, I think I will head up to bed. You get some sleep and I'll see you in the morning okay?" He had turned back towards the door when he heard Raven's voice.

"Do – do you think you could stay gar? I'd feel better if you did." She wasn't lying. It _would_ make her feel better to have him nearby. It was just a – _plus_ – that Garfield would feel better too.

"Are you sure Raven?" He asked trying, and failing miserably, to act as if it didn't matter one way or another to him. She nodded her eyes big in such a small face. Garfield's face broke into a wide grin. "No problem!" He said cheerfully before taking on the form of a Great Dane once more. Raven watched as he curled in tight circles before lying down on the cold, titled floor.

It didn't look comfortable, and it wasn't comfortable. Even for Garfield. Raven knew his instincts tended to urge him above ground when he slept; hence the bunk beds. She was touched he was so willing to betray those instincts for her.

Touched enough to say "Actually, Gar, would you mind sleeping up here with me? Please?" Raven looked down a little embarrassed to find that she really _did_ want him so close to her.

"'Course Rae." Garfield said changing back. "Whatever you want." She turned towards him as he climbed onto the bed. When he laid down they were facing each other and hesitantly encircled her waist pulling her closer. Raven buried her head into his chest breathing him in. Within moments both teens were peacefully sleeping.

_Snap!_

_Snap!_

_Snap!_

Groggily Raven opened her eyes only to be blinded by a camera flash. Garfield stirred to her briefly becoming a cat and stretching luxuriously. She looked around to see Victor holding an old fashioned camera and "blackmail" written all over his face. "No pictures," Muttered Garfield as he turned away from the bright flash.

"Victor." Raven's voice held a deadly calm that caused the metal man to step back a few steps lowering the camera from his human eye as he did. "Either you will give me the camera, or, I will make you 'baby' the size of a can opener. It's your choice."

Garfield whistled, impressed, as his best friend grew considerably paler. "You can have the camera!" Exclaimed Victor handing it over immediately. "Just please, don't hurt my baby. Pleas! I'm sorry!" He pleaded, actually falling to his knees, hands clasped as though he was praying to Raven.

Raven raised an eyebrow slowly. "Did you come here for something? _Besides_ the photo shoot?" She asked not commenting on his "baby" or it's fate.

Instantly Vic was on his feet and smiling. He reached for a covered tray Raven hadn't noticed before. He pulled a chef's hat out from somewhere behind his back and put it on with a half-glance at Garfield. "Uh, Gar?" The changeling looked up questioningly. "You may want to hope off the bed. This isn't really suited for your tastes."

Garfield got off the bed wondering what was under the tray, but Raven had a pretty good guess. With a flourish Victor pulled the cover off the tray cover off and Raven's suspicions were confirmed. Bacon. Raven saw Gar's expression tighten ever so slightly.

She was starting to notice something about the meal though. It was all – doll-sized. As if someone who was much smaller than Raven would be eating her breakfast.

"We knew you'd want something real to eat." Explained Victor handing Raven a fork and knife. "But we also knew you couldn't eat too much without making yourself sick. So we made you a hearty breakfast, mini-sized!" Raven grinned at her friend.

"Kory made the pancakes and eggs." Victor said pointing to each item as it was named. "And I got your bacon, fresh-squeezed orange juice, and herbal tea. So, dig in!"

And that's exactly what Raven did. As she ate the delicious, if small, meal she wondered how long it would take for her to regain her lost weight.

"Victor?" She said looking up from the now-clean plate. "How long do you think it will take for me to get back to normal?" Everyone's attention turned to the metal man.

"Well," He began slowly. "You lost 18 pounds. Considering your normal weight is a measly 100 that means you lost almost 20% of your total body weight, which is pretty significant.

"I won't beat around the bush Rae. It could take up to two months to regain all that weight. Chances are you'll be eating small, snack-sized meals for at least a month. Month and a half at most.

"You'll have to work your way back to a normal exercise routine too. Right now I'd be surprised if you could manage it to the elevator and back. Because you spent so long sitting in one position, and without any food, your body started to use the muscle-mass as fuel. Without it you would have starved. That leaves you with a problem though. Mainly the fact that you're incredibly weak physically."

Victor turned to pile of papers and started digging. Apparently he found was he was looking for rather quickly and turned back to Raven. "Look. This," He pointed to a spot on the graph. "Is your weight and muscle mass reading from your last physical. This" Victor moved his finger much farther down the graph. "Is your _current _weight and muscle-mass reading_._ You need to get back to here." His finger traveled to the original point on the graph.

"It'll be a rough month or so but everything checks out and soon enough you'll be back to normal. The only thing is, - uh -" Victor rubbed his head apparently nervous,

"Yes?" Prompted Raven.

"Well you'll have to under go two weeks of physical therapy. That'll let you get your leg muscles back in shape." Raven nodded slowly feeling that something else must be coming to make Vic so nervous. "But, um, you'll have to be in a wheelchair 'til you can walk on your own again . . ." He trailed off.

"No." Raven's voice rang out in the silence.

"Raven, there isn't another option." Victor quietly pointed out.

"Why can't use I my powers to get around?" She asked as if stating the obvious. "I can _fly_ you know."

"Uh Raven?" That was Dick. "Can you _use_ your powers right now?"

"Why wouldn't I be able to?" The pale teen asked.

"Well, we kind of figured that such a large mental struggle would have taken a toll on your mental state and therefore your powers. You said yourself you were worn out." Dick blinked. "I guess we were wrong."

"Yes, you were. What I was telling you about takes an immense amount of power. Floating? That barely takes any. Look." Chanting softly she made a nearby chair lift off the ground. "See? So, problem solved. I'll levitate for a few weeks."

Victor nodded obviously relieved. "You can go back to your room tonight. Until your back to normal you can just laze around the Tower reading." His face turned serious. "That means no crime fighting either Raven. We can't risk you getting hurt in the field. Okay?" Reluctantly she nodded. "All right than. Physical Therapy stars tomorrow."

"Friends!" Kory said suddenly. "I have a wonderful idea! Let us have a day of movies! It will be most excellent!"

"You know Star," Even though the team now addressed each other with their given names Dick hadn't abandoned Kory's nickname. "I think that's a great idea. Raven?"

"Just let me get changed. I'll meet you guys in the common room."

Victor and Garfield exchanged enthusiastic high-fives. It was going to be a good day.


	9. The Question Game Returns

**Authors's Note:** Please belive me readers (or those of you who have stuck around through my disgustingly long wait) that I am not just this lazy. I've been going through some health issues including a month long bout with the flu and a root canal. Couple that with lack of access to the laptop on which this is saved and we have a problem.

In other news though I have now officially finished the notebook that this story is written in and will be posting pictures of it soon on my livejournal (there's a link in my profile - it's my homepage). It's pretty torn up from being carried around for over a year but it's also got my crazy notes one the inside covers and you guys can see just how much I go through these chapters with my red pen. I've also got a head start on Chapter 10 (7 pages in) and will hopefully have it up before my senior year winds down.

Finally. This chapter has been in the planning stages since I first started writing this story. I hope you enjoy it but if not I do warn you, this does span the next two or three chapters. After that things change.

And now onto what is, once again, the longest chapter yet. I apparently just can't help myself.

**Chapter 9**

**The Question Game Returns**

The next three weeks passed quietly at the Tower. Raven slowly built up her strength in physical therapy with Victor and floated leisurely around the Tower the rest of the time. When she wasn't in therapy Raven spent most of her time with her friends. They had missed her during her sudden absence and she was more than glad to be back amongst them.

Of course, there were a _few_ times she blew off the rest of her teammates in favor of spending some time alone with Garfield. They spent most of their time together lying on Raven's bed (she wouldn't go in his room, citing some smell his highly sensitive nose couldn't detect), happy to just listen to music and hold each other. Garfield always held her like she'd disappear if he so much as blinked.

Raven had eventually convinced him (with a little – _persuasion_) to go back on missions and patrols with the team. Garfield hated leaving her alone at the Tower and raced back every time they left. Usually his teammates would have teased him about his behavior but they all felt the same way.

Victor always made sure he was the last one to bed and watched Raven for any sign her emotions were giving her trouble. Kory had already coaxed her into three girl's nights with the promise of more to come and Dick watched her like a hawk as if she would slip into a meditative state at any moment.

Raven found all of the attention a little overwhelming but understood what was fueling it. She made an effort to spend time in the Common Room instead of her own knowing it put her family's minds at ease.

"Hey." Garfield said poking Raven in the side one afternoon.

He had just gotten home from a mission. Cinderblock had decided to go "bowling" using a statue of the Earth from the business district for a ball and cars as pins. It had taken a while but Cinderblock had been subdued and the owners of the now ruined cars were talking to the police and their insurance companies.

"Yeah?" she replied looking up from her latest book.

"You know what we haven't done in ages?" Raven cocked an eyebrow. "Played The Question Game!" She smiled softly remembering how much they had learned about each other that day. "But," His grin was making Raven feel more suspicious by the second. "You know what would make it more fun?"

"What?" She asked her apprehension rising considerably.

"Playing with everyone instead of just you and me. What d'ya think?"

"I think it's a great idea. But is everyone free?" Raven was under the impression Dick and Kory had a date planned for that afternoon.

"Yeah! Kory and Dick _were_ gonna go on a date but thanks to Cinderblock they missed their movie time. They're just gonna wait until tomorrow and go then." Garfield smiled obviously pleased Raven not only liked his idea, but that it may work "Sooooo," He started in a singsong voice. "Can I go ask everyone?" He sounded like an excited child and Raven smiled in spite of herself.

"Go ahead. I'll meet you in the common room, okay?" He nodded and then tore out of the room to find his teammates. Raven shook her head gently as she marked a place in her book _'If I hurry I can make myself tea.'_ She realized happily. Raven walked the distance from her bed to the door following Victor's instructions to walk in small increments and then flew out into the hallways telepathically shutting off her light.

Garfield meanwhile was racing down the stairs in cheetah form to the garage where Victor was busy. "Hey, man." Victor said bent over his "baby" working on the engine. "What's goin' on?"

"Can you leave the T-car for a while? Raven and I want everyone to come up to the Common Room so we can all the play The Question Game together." He grabbed the metal man's arm and tugged. "C'mon! I've still got to get Dick and Kory."

"I'm comin', I'm comin'." Victor grabbed a nearby rag so that he could wipe the oil off his hands. "Calm down salad head. You go find the two love birds and I'll head upstairs to the Common Room."

"Awesome! See you soon." And Garfield was off again. He raced up five flights of stairs (wondering more than once _why_ he'd chosen to get Victor first) and gently prodded opened Kory's already cracked door. Gar was met with an empty room. Giving himself bat ears (and pretending he was Batman the whole time) he listened closely before realizing no one was in the closet or closest bathroom.

He tried Dick's room next. Gar's hand was less than an inch away from the door when he paused. Because A) it was _Dick's_ room and B) he was learning to be careful about what doors he barged through after last week. _'The _Evidence Room_ of all places? Really?'_ He thought unable to completely suppress a giggle at the look on Dick's face when Garfield had opened the door.

Dick responded to his knock with a slightly out of breath "Yes?" and Garfield could hear Kory's slightly labored breathing as well thanks to the bat ears.

"It's Garfield. I wanted to ask you guys something. Can you open the door or something?"

"Yeah, one second." A few seconds later the door opened to reveal Kory running a hand through her slightly mussed hair. Dick had one hand hovering near the corner of his right eye. It was a self-conscious habit that remained even though his mask was gone. Garfield had wisely gotten rid of his bat ears. "You had a question?" He prodded.

Garfield's attention, which had been wandering, snapped back onto Dick. "Raven and I want to play The Question Game with everyone down in the Common Room. Victor and Raven are already down there waiting we just need you guys." It came out in one long, very fast, breath and Dick took a minute to process it all. Which was a minute less than Kory needed.

"Oh friend Garfield this sounds like so much fun! Let us go play boy-friend Dick!" Gar _loved_ Kory when she was like this. _'In a strictly platonic way of course.'_ He quickly added mentally. Garfield was somewhat convinced Dick could read minds since Batman so obviously could. It was better not to take those types of chances.

"Sure, let's go." Dick said smiling. "You guys are gonna have to teach us how to play though." He grabbed Kory's hand and headed towards the elevator.

Soon enough everyone was sitting around the table in the Common Room as Garfield and Raven quickly discussed how to explain the game to everyone. "Okay," Raven said as they drew their heads part keeping their hands joined. "Here's how we're going to play. Someone asks a question and everyone, including the person who asked, has to answer completely truthfully. Whoever asks the question will answer first and once everyone's done we'll go to the next person moving clockwise. Who wants to start?"

"I will!" Garfield said cheerfully from Raven's left. "Uh . . . let's see. What'd did you want to be when you grew up? You know when you were little? I wanted to be an animal researcher just like my parents. Or an actor. I could never make up my mind."

"Man," Victor said. "I wanted to play pro soccer _and_ run track in the Olympics. Sports were my life back then."

"That makes sense. You're competitive enough for sure." Garfield muttered dodging the pillow Victor threw at him.

"Chill out guys." Dick said calmly. He was more than used to the friendly banter at this point. "I wanted to be a headliner act for the circus. Just like my mom and dad were."

"I would have assumed my rightful place, of course." Was Kory's answer. "My sister, as the eldest, would have been Queen. As the second oldest I would have been the Va'deer Klandar – Voice of the People. My job would have been to make sure Blackfire was aware of her people's needs." Kory's eyes glowed sadly. "Unfortunately Blackfire made several choices that removed her right to rule. That is why Galfore is now ruling our people. What about you friend Raven?"

"Uhm. I never thought I'd grow up. I wasn't supposed to live past 16. I didn't think there'd be a _chance_ to grow up. Right now I'm taking it one day at a time."

It was Victor's turn next and he kept with the playful questions asking what everyone's favorite color was: his own being red.

"Midnight blue."

"Pink! Or the wondrous orange!"

"Yellow." Everyone stared. _"What?_" Raven asked darkly. Everyone quickly turned to Garfield.

"Kelly Green."

"My turn." Dick thought for a second before deciding to ask a slightly more serious question. "What's the worse dream you've ever had? Mine's a dead tie between reliving my parents' deaths or the first time I saw a body left behind by The Joker. I once heard Gotham's Commissioner tell Batman he'd had nightmares for weeks."

"I used to have one dream quite often as a small jaedor. I would be flying high over the canyons of my planet when suddenly my power of flight would be gone. Not being able to fly has always been my greatest fear."

"When I was four," Raven began quietly. "The monks on Azar sat me down and told me in great detail what could happen if I lost control of my emotions and therefore my powers. I only stopped having those nightmares a year ago. The things they described were truly horrifying."

"This is easy." Gar said leaning back against the couch. "Ever since that physco alien tried to keep me as a pet I've had nightmares about collars and dog treats." He shuddered. "Victor?"

"Rusting." He answered looking queasy. "I can't move and you guys end up selling me as scrap metal. I don't even like thinking about it."

"What friends, is you're favorite Earth holiday? I personally enjoy Christmas best. The lights are so beautiful and everyone is so joyous!"

"New Years."

"Halloween, man! Dressing up is awesome!" (Garfield's response made Dick shudder and say, "Ugh. Halloween in Gotham is terrible. Costumes usually equal trouble.")

"Thanksgiving, family type holiday ya know?"

"St. Patrick's day. My mom was 100% Irish. We used to have shamrock shaped waffles for breakfast each year."

"What's your favorite book?" Raven asked. "I know it's technically a play but I love King Lear."

"Harry Potter." Garfield said with a goofy grin. "Those books pull you in."

"Brave New World. It's about a society that worships machines. Really interesting read."

"Bruce gave me a book called Anthem for Christmas the year I moved in with him. The lady who write the book was _nuts_ but the book itself it amazing."

"Friend Raven gave me a book called One Thousand and One Arabian Nights on my birthday last year which I much enjoyed."

"What's the worst thing that's ever happened to you? Mine's loosing my parents."

"Loosing my mother."

"Watching my parents die."

"Loosing my entire family."

"Meeting my father." Raven's answer made everyone smile a little.

"What's the most dangerous thing you've ever done?" Victor asked trying to lighten things up a bit. He was hoping for stories of stupid childhood stunts. Only some of the answers fit that hope though.

"Once when I was six," Vic began. "I thought I could _fly,_ right. So I climbed 20 feet up into a tree in my backyard and jumped. Thank God for the trampoline. My parents, understandably, flipped. I couldn't go in the backyard without an adult for three months."

"A couple of months after I became Robin I was on patrol when The Joker broke out of Arkham. Bruce told me not to go after him alone but – I didn't listen. I was 12-years-old and fearless. I almost got myself killed. Luckily Bruce showed up in time.

"When we got home, he lost it. He told me if I ever disobeyed him like that again he'd take away the costume. Said I had to prove I could handle it. Eventually Alfred had to come in and tell him to stop.

"I started bawling of course, because I was terrified and Alfred ended up having to stay with me until I clamed down. I heard him telling Bruce off later that night.

"But he was right. I was being stupid and I listened to him after that."

"When I was seven I tried to pet a Plideore. Galfore cried with relief when I walked away from the creature unharmed." No one was quite sure what a Plideore _was_ but they remembered enough of the animals of Tameran to get the general idea.

"Malchior." Raven said heavily. "Or more so, thinking I could control that kind of magic. Magic I had no business even using. If it hadn't been for you guys he would have wrecked havoc in Jump City. Thankfully he was contained."

Garfield looked up, his fingers drumming rapidly on the carpet. A sure sign, Raven knew, that he was nervous. "I want you guys to promise you won't get angry or flip out okay?" Everyone except Raven nodded wearily.

"Garfield?" She asked gently her eyes narrowed in concern and trepidation.

"Do you promise or not, Raven?" The tone of his voice, rough and primal, startled her. She started at him before nodding slowly her eyes never leaving his. "Okay." He took a deep breath. "The most dangerous thing I've ever done is try to commit suicide."

Everyone froze except Kory who looked around at her teammates confused. Dick whispered quietly into her ear and the alien princess went from confused to a look of dawning comprehension to plain horrified as she grabbing blindly for Dick's hand.

"When?" Raven asked tight-lipped her voice devoid of all emotion.

"Uhm. About three months ago." Garfield shut his eyes tightly waiting for the outbreak of anger. Instead he heard a swish of cloth as Raven stood up and opened his eyes fearfully.

"I'll be in my room. Don't disturb me. I won't go to Nevermore. There's no reason to worry." And with that she teleported to her room.

Everyone else sat in silence for a minute before Garfield stood up. "Maybe I should go talk to her." He looked towards the Common Room door upset and unsure.

"Garfield. Sit down." Dick's voice held no room for argument. "Guys, would you mind excusing us? Garfield and I need to talk."

"Cmon Star." Victor said pulling her up gently by the elbow." Let's go get the grocery shopping done. We'll see you guys later." Kory looked distressed but let Victor pull her away. She asked him something Dick couldn't make out but Victor's response of, "No, she needs some time to herself. You can check on her when we get home." Made it pretty clear.

Once they were gone Dick looked at Garfield bleakly. "I don't even know where to start." He closed his eyes briefly before opening them to look at Garfield. "I guess the most important question is are you still contemplating suicide?"

"No." Garfield said immediately. "Not for at least a month. The day we fought Wilderness to be specific."

Dick's eyebrows furrowed as he sorted through various missions to remember that day. "What changed?"

"I realized how much all of you actually care." Garfield said quietly. "Mento would have kicked me off Doom Patrol for something like that. _You_ guys tried to help me. It showed me that I had options. That I could get better. I may be depressed but I'm not _that_ stupid. Not anymore at least."

"What exactly did you do? We need to make sure there isn't any lasting damage." Dick, in his horror, had slipped into a Batman like questioning mode.

"There isn't." Gar said shaking his head. "I swallowed four bottle of extra strength Tylenol. But," He hurried on as Dick blanched. "I did pass out but my mind still managed to get my body to a rhino, I guess some part of me didn't want to die. It meant I'd be fine. It'd take a lot more than that to kill a rhino."

"Alright. I still want Victor to take a look at you though. Better safe than sorry." He sighed looking so miserable and unlike Robin the hero and leader it made Garfield's stomach churn with guilt. He'd never seen Dick look so young, much younger than his own age of 20. If anything Dick was likely to look older, _not_ younger, than he really was.

"Gar," He looked up miserably confusion filling his normally analytical face "Why? Don't you see how much we need you? You're part of this family. An _important_ part of this family."

"I couldn't see that though. I felt like I wasn't helping anybody nor doing anything. I was trying to keep the goofy routine up for you guys but it was hard."

"Why were you so afraid of telling us?" Dick asked his voice bordering on desperate.

"I – " Garfield looked down obviously embarrassed. "I thought you'd kick me off the team." His voice was barely a whisper.

"_What?"_ Dick was honestly outraged. "We've been a team for _years_. How could you even think we'd cast you out like that? How can we prove that we really do in fact care about you?"

"I get that _now_. But dude, do you remember where I used to be? Steve and Rita took me in and they loved me. But – Steve saw me as a recruit and a team member first and foremost. Not a family member and _not_ a son.

"If this had happened when Doom Patrol was still together." Garfield shook his head. "At the very least I'd be pulled off of active duty. Worst I would have been kicked out for being a danger to the team and myself.

"The day we fought Wilderness I realized you guys _wouldn't_ kick me out." He leaned forward eagerly as if he could show Dick how everything had clicked into place in his head. "I finally figured out how different this place is from Doom Patrol. I guess some part of me had held onto that fear of making mistakes or putting myself ahead of anyone else that Steve had always driven home."

"Garfield, this isn't Doom Patrol." Dick said firmly. "We want to know what's going on with you. Here. I'll say it one more time. We. _Want_. To. Know! Okay?"

"I get it." Garfield leaned back a bit running a hand through his hair. "I do. I just – I didn't see the point of bringing it up. I wasn't going to kill myself, there was no lasting damage, and I didn't want you guys to panic."

"Regardless, if anything changes, if something isn't right, tell us from now on." Dick sighed. "I want you to wait in here until Vic and Kory get home. Once Victor gives you a clean bill of health you can start trying to get back in Raven's good graces. I'll figure out something we can do about your depression." Garfield nodded mutely. "C'mon, let's go play Aliens Ate My Neighbors. I keep loosing one of the Neighbors somewhere.

The two played in a comfortable silence for 20 minutes before Kory and Victor entered the Common Room laden with packages. All four began unpacking groceries, Kory visibly upset. Finally she couldn't keep her silence any longer.

"Oh friend Garfield!" She cried grabbing him from behind in a hug as he tried to put the peanut butter away. "Are you okay? Please say you no longer wish to end your life. I would miss you most terribly friend! What can we do to help?"

"Kory – " Dick began, and Kory turned to him imploringly, only to have Garfield stop him.

"No, Dick, it's okay." He stepped away from the counter leaving the peanut butter behind. "Kory," His face was full of misery. "Kory I'm sorry. I never meant to hurt you or scare you. I'm okay. I promise." He looked up at her dolefully.

"Oh, I am so glad you are no longer sad!" Kory cried hugging the changeling again. "I do hope you will tell us if you feel otherwise though." Garfield nodded and Kory's smile grew.

"Victor?" The metal man looked at Dick from where he dwelt by the fridge. He had continued to unpack groceries while the others talked and had been silent since entering the Common Room. "Could you give Garfield a physical once everything's put away. I want to make sure he didn't inadvertently do something." There was a moment where no one seemed to move at all waiting for Victor's response. When he nodded his eyes were locked on Garfield, not Dick.

As soon as the last things (ketchup and turkey) were put away Vic left, headed for the med lab one floor below. Garfield cast a scared look at Dick before following his best friend.

Garfield slowly descended the stairs to the med lab. When he entered the room Victor was busy at the counter grabbing vials to draw blood. "Sit on the bed and take your shirt off." He said without turning around. Garfield complied silently climbing onto the nearest bed where he sat fidgeting.

Victor turned towards Garfield a hard look on his face a motioned for the changeling to hold out his arm. He did so wincing slightly as the needle pierced his skin.

"What'd you do?" Vic asked as the last vial of blood slowly filled. When his only answer was a confused look from Garfield he elaborated. "How did you try to kill yourself?" His face was carefully blank.

"I swallowed four bottles of extra strength Tylenol."

Victor's human eye widened slowly. "Four whole bottles?" But his voice remained neutral.

"Yeah."

That was the last word either of them said until Victor finished the examination. "I need the blood tests to be certain but you're fine. I'll let Dick know." Victor told him as he slowly started putting the equipment that he'd used away.

"Okay." Garfield said studying his friend's face. He put his shirt on before sliding off the bed and regarding Victor carefully. "Uhm," He rubbed the back of his head awkwardly. "Is everything . . . I mean are we well – okay?"

"Okay?" Victor asked incredulously slamming a cupboard shut and making Garfield jump. "No we're not okay! You, my best friend, just told our team – our _family_ – that you tired to fucking kill yourself three months ago. Because apparently you never thought to tell anyone that you felt like shit!" Honestly, it was the swearing, much more than the yelling, that threw Garfield off. Victor rarely swore, even in battle.

"Man, I'm sorry. I was – " Victor cut him off.

"You were what exactly? Scared? Angry? _Hurt_?" Because that's pretty much how I'm feelin' right about now."

Garfield didn't know what to do. He stared at his best friend somewhat fearfully, his animal urges telling him to run. He mastered them as he had so many times before and remained standing in the med lab facing Victor.

Swallowing hard Garfield told Victor, "I'm sorry. I really am. I don't expect you to understand. But," His voice got smaller. "Please don't hate me. Please."

Victor's anger disappeared. It could be hard for him to remember that Garfield hadn't grown up with parents. And that his best friend had an overwhelming fear of abandonment because of it.

With a heavy sigh he laid a large hand on Gar's shoulder and waited for the changeling to meet his gaze. "I don't hate you." He said slowly wanting to make sure that Garfield understood. "I won't ever hate you. You're like my little brother.

"But you really freaked me out, man. I love you, we're family. If I hated you I wouldn't care that you tried to kill yourself. But still, can't you see where _I'm_ coming from?

"How do you think I feel knowing that you were going' through such a rough time, and I didn't even notice. I'm your best friend. If _anyone_ should have caught on it shoulda been me."

"That's bull shit." Garfield said immediately. "I worked really hard to make sure you guys didn't notice. The shitier I felt the happier I acted. I already felt like a burden I wasn't about to go around drawing attention to myself." He stared at Victor who looked unconvinced. "It wasn't your fault for not knowing, man. I'm serious. Don't start blaming yourself, okay?" No response. "_Okay?_"

"Yeah, yeah." Victor put a hand on Garfield's shoulder. The green teen found the weight comforting. His green eyes met Victor's human one. "BB, if anything like this happens again let someone know, okay?"

"Trust me, I got the message. For a few minutes there I thought Dick was going to put me on suicide watch." Vic's face darkened momentarily. "Not funny, got it. Sorry."

Garfield groaned suddenly putting his head in his hands. Just as Victor started asking what was wrong Gar said in a low voice, "Raven's going to kill me. We barely started dating." Victor chuckled low in the back of his throat as Garfield muttered to himself, "Maybe the kitten? No, she won't fall for that again. Besides Star's a lot more forgiving."

"Come on." Victor said giving Gar a slight shove between the shoulder blades. "We're cool and you have an angry girlfriend to win back." Garfield looked up at Victor pathetically. "Don't be a baby." He said leading the way to the elevator. "She won't kill you, she loves you."

Garfield didn't look so sure but allowed himself to be steered onto the elevator. He watched, fear growing in his stomach as Vic pushed the button for the fifth floor where all the Titans' bedrooms were.

Victor pushed Garfield onto the landing as the doors opened. "I'll be down in the Common Room." He said not getting out of the elevator. "Dick will want to know you're okay. Just talk to her." Garfield heard the sound of something shattering as it hit a wall. "And don't let her throw you out the window! I'm not replacing a window that big." He added quickly as the doors began to close.

'_Sure Vic.'_ Garfield thought to himself as the doors shut completely. _'I'll ask her to make sure the window remains unharmed as she tries to _kill_ me.'_ He walked to Raven's door.

Summoning his courage he raised a trembling hand and knocked, only to hear something else break within the room. Gar took a deep breath and knocked again. This time there were no sounds of destruction and his sensitive ears detected the sound of someone pacing.

Instead of breaking something else Raven answered in a somewhat angry voice, "I already told you Kory, I _don't_ want to talk about this." It took Garfield a moment to realize that Raven's anger was blocking her empathy. The emotion was making it hard for her to tell who was on the other side of the door.

"Good guess, but wrong." Garfield said in a feeble attempt at his normally jokey tone. Inside the room he heard Raven's pacing come to an abrupt halt. "It's Garfield Raven, can we talk?"

Before he knew what was happening Raven had pulled him inside her room and slammed him against a wall. "If you ever," Her voice was a low growl against his ears and Garfield found he couldn't break Raven's gaze. "Ever," She shook him slightly for emphasis and he closed his eyes as the world briefly, but rapidly, swung in and out of focus. "Do something like that again you will know fear the likes of which you cannot imagine. Got it?"

Slowly Garfield nodded amazed to find himself alive and in one piece. He was even more amazed when second later she hugged him murmuring "Idiot." under her breath over and over again. "Uhm, Rae?" He glanced around at the debris-covered floor. "What happened to your room?"

Raven stepped back from him looking both embarrassed and defiant. "I promised I wouldn't meditate, so I had to deal with my emotions in another way." She explained somewhat defensively.

"I'm getting you a punching bag for Christmas." Garfield said the words escaping his mouth before he had a chance to think (it was amazing how often he felt that way). He looked at Raven afraid she might be angry but she didn't _look_ angry. Granted she didn't look amused either but that, at least, was normal.

"We need to talk." Raven said as silence descended. Garfield nodded mentally prepping himself mentally for round three of The Suicide Talk. "Not about why you did it." Raven said surprising him. "I can figure that out on my own. It's not too hard. No, I'm more concerned about the possibility of this happening again. How can we be sure you aren't going to try and kill yourself again? We obviously missed the signs last time. I'm afraid we could easily miss it a second time." She looked so worried that it broke Garfield's heart.

"Raven." He grabbed onto her hand as if she wanted to run away from him. "I'm not that stupid anymore. I'm honestly not suicidal. And if I were I'd _tell_ someone. Before, it was like my entire life was hopeless. As if I _couldn't_ get any better. I felt like life was always going to be this way, there'd be no good parts to look forward to.

"But now, now I know I can be happy. I won't lie to you; I'm still depressed. But I'm also getting better day by day. Once I realized that you guys really did care about me it was like someone took a blanket off of my head. I literally felt lighter, like something had been lifted off of me. Everything seemed brighter, sharper, _better_. Besides," He grinned suggestively pulling Raven close. "How could I _not_ love my life right now." As a blush spread across Raven's cheeks he leaned down and kissed her softly.

Raven pulled away after a few blissful seconds smiling up at Garfield her cheeks still tinged. "You're not off the hook you know." She said trying to regain her stern composure. "We still have to talk about what happened right before I had to – leave." Garfield's ears drooped.

"Rae." He mumbled on the verge of a whine.

"No. You know I'm right. Azar, what _is_ it with you boys and not wanting to talk about anything?" Garfield stared at her. "Forget it. The bottom line is that you need to deal with this. And you're going to. So please, Garfield, what's going on with all the nightmares?"

"They aren't important Raven. Honestly. And either way," He looked upset. "What right do you have to make me talk about them?"

"That's rich coming from the guy that _yelled_ at me when I asked to be alone. Don't give me that bull shit Garfield. I have every right to ask and you know it."

He looked down ears drooping. "Raven. I don't want to talk about it. Please."

Her face softened and she brushed a cheek with her hand watching him lean into the contact gratefully. "Garfield." Raven let her hand rest on his cheek. "I'm asking because it's important. I know it is. Empathy, remember?" She sighed one finger absently tracing the shape of his ear. "And because I care about you, and you're worrying me."

Garfield's face tightened with misery and it seemed to be with great effort that he pulled himself away from the pale girl. "Raven, do you realize what you're asking? You want me to relive some of the most painful moments of my life. I haven't even thought about parts of it in years!"

She hesitated. "I know. There – there is another way, but I don't know how much you'll like it." She admitted.

"What way?" Garfield asked desperately.

"Do you remember when Dick was freaking out over Slade?" Garfield nodded slowly. "Well, remember how I went into his mind? It'd be a lot like that but I'd take you with me. You'd have to relive it – by watching the memories – but you wouldn't have to explain anything to me.

"Why wouldn't I be down with that?" Garfield asked looking both excited and relived. "I'd rather be a 3rd party witness than a 1st party participant." He grinned happily confidant they now had a plan he could feel comfortable with.

"There's a catch." His grin froze. Would it hurt her? He wouldn't do it, whatever _it_ was, if it hurt her. "The experience means I'd have an almost unique closeness with your mind. For example Dick's feelings always appear more urgent to me now that we've shared something so close.

"It's not that I would mind." Raven said quickly when Garfield looked hurt. "But you'd find it hard to keep your feelings from me. Nearly impossible actually. I would have warned Dick but," She shrugged helplessly. "We didn't know what would happen. It had never been done before."

Garfield covered Raven's hand with his own. "Raven, I would love to share that type of closeness with you. I don't want to hide things from you anymore. Besides," Now it was Garfield's turn to shrug. "I'm not sure I could tell you everything you wanted to know. It can be hard to remember and harder to talk about. When do you want to do it?"

Raven bit her lip absently. "Let's say Thursday." That was four days away. "My powers will be returned in full and it will be a good way to test if I'm ready to go back top my own mindscape. Does that sound good?"

Garfield's ear fell. "Do you _have_ to go back?" He asked pleadingly.

Raven's eyes softened. "Gar, it's almost been a month I have to go back and check the barriers strength. I need to make sure this won't _ever_ happen again."

He hugged her tightly burying his head in her shoulder. "Please be careful." He said quietly into her ear.

She kissed his head gently. "I will be." Raven said softly. "I've got a few things to take care of from before our disaster game, okay? But I'll find you later."

Garfield nodded pulling back. "I think I'm gonna go fly." He said. "Clear my head a bit." Now Raven nodded going to her window and opening a small corner. Garfield gratefully changed into a hawk and flew out the open window.

Raven stood for a few minutes watching her boyfriend soar over the bay hawk-shaped only to drop and skim the water with his claws before wheeling away back towards the sky. Sighing she turned away from the window and out her door.

Raven floated down the hallway towards Dick's door. She knocked on the metal door as she softly let herself land on the ground. It was only _after_ she knocked that she realized people had been talking within the room and that the conversation had ceased with her knock. The door slid open to reveal Dick sitting at his desk one hand on the button that opened the doors. On the video screen above his desk was Bruce who he had clearly been in the middle of a conversation with.

"Oh." She said shocked. This was the first time she'd ever gotten a good look at Bruce who was wearing the Batman costume. "Sorry Di – Robin. I'll come back later. I just wanted to ask if you'd thought about my – offer. It can wait." Rave turned away from Dick _and_ the video screen.

"Wait." She turned back to Dick slowly. "I actually wanted you to explain your idea to Batman. I want his opinion."

'_Of course.'_ Raven thought. _'I get to talk to freakin' Batman.'_ She nodded calmly calling on 17 years of experience to keep both her face and voice emotionless.

"Okay. As I'm sure you know Robin – "

"Dick." His voice was so much creepier in person – or video screen. Whatever. Like the wind slipping through dry leaves and dead branches. She repressed a shudder. "I'm aware of your knowledge of his name." His eyes flicked to the teenage boy in question. "It's good for him to remember he's more than just Robin. Go on."

Raven blinked. "All right." She held her resolve to meet Batman's unnerving stare. "I'm sure you know Dick still has nightmares about his parents death. It was only a few months ago that I realized how bad they really were." Batman narrowed his gaze at Dick who seemed to shrink. Obviously he had _not_ been aware of this. "I offered to help him with the nightmares."

"How?" He was back to staring her down.

"You know exactly what my powers do?" He nodded impassively. "You also know that I've entered Dick's mind once before?" Another nod. "It'd be very similar to that. I'd enter his physce and place a barrier between him dreams and his memories.

"He'd still have all of his memories. Nothing would disappear or be damaged. The only difference is that the nightmares would stop. Dick could stop reliving his parents' death. It'd also prevent him from having nightmares about anything else that'd happened to him." Now Batman narrowed his gaze at her and while she blushed she refused to look away.

"What do you think of all of this Dick?"

Dick looked troubled. "I don't know. It'd be great to stop having all the nightmares and finally get some sleep. But I'm hesitant to let anyone, even someone I trust as much as Raven, mess with my head. Last time was a necessity. Stopping some bad dreams isn't."

"I disagree." Dick's head shot up, as he looked at Batman puzzled. "Solving your nightmares by allowing you to become Robin was different. You had no one to worry about, yourself included. That was my job in Gotham.

"Now you're in charge of an entire team. Your judgement in the field can't be off because you didn't get enough sleep. You could get someone killed like that." His voice softened slightly, it _almost_ seemed more human.

"It's your choice Dick. Don't let anyone into your head unless you're sure." Dick's eyes softened as he looked as his mentor and father.

"Thanks Bruce." he said quietly.

Raven cleared her throat gently, "If I've answered all your questions," She inclined her head towards Bruce. "I'll leave you two be. Just let me know what you decide Dick. Uhm. Nice to meet you Batman." She smiled faintly before leaving.

It wasn't surprising to Raven when Dick came looking for her a couple of hours later. "I want to do it." His mouth was set in a firm line. Raven lowered the book she'd been reading.

"Are you sure?" She trued to keep her tone impassive not wanting to influence his decision in the least. "It's not an easy process to reverse. The closeness of our thoughts would probably increase as well."

Dick nodded grim as ever. "I'm sure Raven. This is what I want."

She nodded in acceptance setting the book aside all together. "Okay. I promised to help Garfield with something on Thursday." Dick raised an eyebrow questioningly. "Sorry, you'll have to ask him yourself." He nodded clearly intending to do so. "But let's say Friday. I want to make sure I have my strength back in full because what you're asking for takes more time and more energy. Until then, I'm sorry but I don't think there's anything I can do."

Dick smiled at her. "Don't worry Raven. I can manage a few more days after all this time." He hesitated. "Thank you Raven. It's a relief to know the nightmares are going to finally end."

"Of course, Dick." She said, genuine happiness in her voice and on her face. He settled down to channel surf and Raven picked up her book relishing, as she always did, in the gentle brushing of their minds.

Garfield, meanwhile, was busy plotting. Raven would be turning 18 in just a few weeks and Gar wanted to throw her a party.

Raven's birthday had passed quietly last year. No one had wanted to remind her of what had happened the year before and the team had contended themselves with giving her gifts to her quietly through out the day.

This year things would be different. Raven was turning 18 and she deserved to celebrate. _'She _will_ celebrate.'_ Garfield thought grimly, making a silent vow to give his girlfriend the best birthday ever.

There was only one problem though. He needed help. Garfield was no where near organized enough to do this on his own. He'd need Dick to okay the party in the first place. He skimmed closer to the water thinking.

Victor would be a huge help, especially with the food. If Garfield could convince him to make a few vegetarian dishes that is. And the video games. Victor was a pro at snagging the new games from Jump Video, the local rental store.

Kory of course would be the go-to girl for decorations. The others may not appreciate it but Garfield loved her over-the-top idea of decorating. Every December it looked like a Christmas store had exploded inside of the Tower.

Dick, Dick would be the only one keeping a _semblance_ of order about the entire idea. After keeping an entire team of teenage superheroes in line planning a birthday party should be nothing.

Swooping over the lake one last time Garfield turned heading to the roof of the Tower where Dick was waiting for him.

The door to Dick's room closed and he turned back to Bruce. "What were you saying about Alfred entering a cooking contest?" The old butler was always up to something. He said he needed to take his mind off of what his Masters' were doing.

"He entered his family recipe for spaghetti sauce. You had some when he made spaghetti the last time you were in Gotham. Remember?" Dick nodded

"How's your team doing?" Bruce asked his voice revealing nothing. "I see Raven's recovered from her injuries."

Dick nodded again. "She's only started walking in the last few days. She still gets tired out pretty easily. But Victor said she should be back on patrols in 2-3 weeks."

"Good. It's always better to have more people watching your back. What about the rest of the team?"

"Victor and Kory are fine. Garfield –" His face darkened but Bruce saw pain, not anger, in his adoptive son's eyes. "Garfield told us earlier today that he tried to commit suicide three months ago." Now Bruce's face darkened questions forming but Dick was already there. "He's not suicidal anymore, and hasn't been for over a month. But Bruce," The pain in his eyes was _killing_ Gotham's Caped Crusader. "I don't know what to do." His voice was so small. "We can't kick him off the team, but he's still depressed. What do I do?" He asked desperately.

Bruce laced his fingers together thinking fast and hard. "Is he stable?" Dick nodded "Then he's not a danger to the team. Have you noticed any injuries that could be labeled as self-injury? Cuts, bruises, burns?" A head shake. "If he's not a danger to himself or others he can fight.

"But you're right. The depression needs to be addressed. And the sooner the better. How would he feel about seeing a physiatrist?"

Dick shook his head quickly. "He wouldn't go for it. Besides, it'd be to easy for someone to find out. I don't want anyone in Jump City thinking that we can't protect them."

"Understandable. Then it will be up to you and the team. He needs to feel free to talk to others. Don't give him too much time to be alone and dwell. The most important thing is to make sure he understands he's safe at home in Titans Tower. Do you know what made him think otherwise in the first place?"

"Mento." Dick growled.

"Steve?" Bruce seemed surprised. "What does he have to do with this?"

"Garfield was a member of the Doom Patrol for a few years right before the – attack." No one in the superhero community liked to think of Rita _or_ Steve's untimely deaths. "He was formally adopted by Rita and Steve. Rita treated Garfield as a son but Steve," He hesitated looking into his guardians eyes. "Steve treated Garfield as a solider first and a child – or anything else- second."

Bruce's eye widened almost fearfully and Dick hurried on. "Not like you Bruce." He tried to assure the older man. "You look downright _cuddly_ next to Steve. I'm serious." He said, as Bruce looked unconvinced. "You let me be a kid, let me be more than Robin. Steve didn't do that for Garfield. I'm not saying he was a bad guy or anything. He just had no idea what to do with a kid.

"Right now all I can do is tell him that this isn't Doom Patrol, but I'm not sure how well it's working."

"It sounds like you're doing everything you can." Bruce said and Dick recognized the rare compliment he'd been paid. "Keep me updated. Bruce out."

"I will. Tell everyone in Gotham I said hello and I'll see them in a month or so." Dick was turning 21 in a little under two months and Alfred had demanded he return home for the occasion. "Dick out."

The screen went black and the spiky haired teen stood up stretching. He'd made his decision. Not all he had to do was find Raven and then Garfield.

Garfield dropped onto the roof changing to default form as he landed. "Hey Dick." He smiled hoping the other teen wasn't going to bring up what had happened earlier that day. "What's up?"

"Nothing really. I just wanted to talk to you about a few things. 'Kay?" Garfield nodded nervously. "What's Raven helping you with on Thursday?" His face was remarkably nonchalant, even his eyes seemed more relaxed.

"Oh, well." Garfield felt himself blush. "Raven wanted to see some of my memories. Seeing them will be much clearer than if I just told her about them. And it's kind of –" Dick was surprised to see his friend look embarrassed. "It's hard to talk about you know?" Garfield briefly looked up at Dick.

"Understandably so." Dick said mentally shrugging. Thanks to the files Dick had on each Titan he was well aware of what Garfield's life had been like immediately following the death of his parents. "There's one other thing, Gar." He said softly. Garfield froze.

"I talked to Bruce about what happened today." Dick watched grimly as his friend began to look more and more like a cornered animal.

"Calm down man, everything's fine. I know you said you were handling the depression but we need to be sure. So, once a week for the next month or so I want you to check in with one of us. Just to see how you're doing. It can be anyone," He hesitated but plowed on. "Anyone but Raven." Garfield nodded; he had been expecting that.

"Is it okay if I talk to Victor?" The green teen asked after a few moments.

"Of course." His leader replied. "As long as you're aware that Victor will have to give me a brief overview of your conversations. Just so I can keep track of how you're doing."

Garfield nodded. "Makes sense." He admitted. "I've got a question for you though." Dick raised an eyebrow. "What do you think about throwing Raven a birthday party?"


	10. A Walk Down Memory Lane

**A/N:** What? You're still here?! Well thank goodness! I know this has been a painfully long update and I'm sorry. My life has been really mesy these past few months but I promise I never forgot about you guys. I've got all but a page or two of Chapter 11 written and will do my best to have it up soon. You do have a slight reward for your patience though. This chapter is 50 pages is word. Almost double the length of Chapter 9. Please let me know what you think.

Oh, and please take this as your warning. I've moved the rating on this story to M and it will make much more sense after you've read this chapter and even more after Chapter 11 is up. Things are going to get bad. People are going to be hurt. And if I've done my job well you will be worried about at least a few of the Titans. I'll give more specific warnings as they apply but the road gets bump from here on in.

**Chapter 10**

**A Walk Down Memory Lane**

After her last disastrous trip to Nevermore Raven had learned to meditate without entering her mindscape. It allowed her to heal sufficiently from her ordeal while still maintaining control of her emotions and through them her powers. She used the technique frequently in the next four days often meditating for hours on end. All of it was in preparation for entering first Garfield's and later Dick's mind.

In some strange way it was easier to enter her teammates mind before she was forced to return to her own. Doing so successfully would reassure her that she could enter her mind safely. Raven could feel her emotions pulling for her return. She'd have to go back soon.

Dick had kindly told the team that Raven would need to be left alone for the next few days to prepare for the journey into their minds. He'd tactfully explained away the reasons for the trips as the best way for Raven to prepare to reenter her own mind.

However none of them, Dick and Garfield included had been thrilled with all the meditation. They'd all accepted Raven's need for meditation but the idea of her meditating, even in an altered version, for so long set them all on edge.

In an attempt to pacify them she had agreed to meditate on the roof. The sunny warm weather of summer made the roof a comfortable place to meditate. It also meant that if something went wrong she'd be easy to get at, not locked in her room cut off from the rest of them like last time.

Just before sundown on the fourth day someone, Garfield this time, came to the roof to check on her. Every few hours the team would send someone to make sure Raven was okay. Once they got a signal that all was well from Raven they would go back inside.

When Garfield reached the roof he was greeted with a setting sun and a wave of acknowledgement from his girlfriend. She slowly lowered herself to the ground before starting to massage her stiff, and slightly weak, legs. "Are you okay?" Garfield asked concerned.

"I'm fine." Raven said giving up on her legs and floating over to Garfield. "My legs aren't completely recovered yet. They're still missing a bit of muscle mass according to Victor. It may take another week to get it all back."

"You can walk though, can't you?" Garfield had been under the impression that Raven was healed physically.

"Yes, I am. However I just sat in the same position for eight hours straight. No one's legs would appreciate that and it makes it hard to walk immediately after.

Wordlessly Garfield gripped Raven's waist. She wasn't sure what he was doing but she let her power go trusting Garfield to hold her up. Once he felt her relax into his grip he set her on the ledge of the Tower (there was a bar to prevent someone from falling backwards) and started to gently massage her legs.

"Garfield." She protested. "You don't have to do that."

"I want to." He smiled up at her. "Is it helping?" Raven hesitated before nodding. After a moment she seemed to accept the inevitable and relaxed as he continued to massage.

"Are you ready for tomorrow?" She asked as the dying sun lit the roof in a brilliant orange. His brow furrowed but he didn't stop massaging her legs.

"Not really." He admitted not meeting her eyes. "How could I be ready? I'm nervous about you going into my head, seeing the memories, letting _you_ see them. But, at the same time, I think I'm as ready as I'll ever be."

"It won't change anything you know." Raven told him solemnly. She put gentle fingers beneath his chin and forced him to look at her. Slowly Raven lowered her mouth to his capturing his lips in a slow, passionate kiss.

Garfield stood up just as slowly never taking his lips from hers. His arms snaked around Raven's waist pulling her closer until she slid off the edge. He was dimly aware that the sun had truly set leaving them bathed in starlight.

_'It's a good thing I'm so distant Nevermore.'_ Raven thought giddy. _'Happy and Love must be going crazy.'_ She pressed herself against him as he encircled her waist reveling in the closeness of his body. Her hand had barely grazed against his cheek when the roof door flew open revealing Kory.

The two teens sprang apart Raven pulling her hood up as she turned to greet Kory. She seemed determined to act like nothing had happened. Garfield rubbed the back of his head blushing dark on his green skin.

"Oh!" Kory away from her friends. "I am most sorry my friends! I didn't mean to interrupt." She called over her shoulder. "Boyfriend Dick asked me to come look for you when you did not return from visiting friend Raven. I now see it was just a different _type_ of visiting." Now even Raven could feel herself begin to blush.

"It's fine Kory. You didn't interrupt anything. We need to be going inside anyways." Raven told the other girl. "Just don't tell anyone, please."

"Of course friend Raven! Is this one of those things we discussed at out most recent 'night of girls'?" Garfield watched in fascination as his girlfriend blushed even harder, clearly visible in the light of the open roof door. She nodded trying to hold onto whatever dignity she had left.

As they started down the stairs Garfield and Raven shared a secret smile Kory leading the way happily oblivious. "Oh friend Garfield!" Kory turned to look at him gently floating down the stairs backwards. "Boyfriend Dick requests that you visit with him in the Common Room before the time for sleep.

"Uhm, sure Kor." Garfield said racking his brain for a reason Dick would want to talk to him. "I may as well go now. You coming Raven?"

Raven nodded. "I'm going to get my book first though. I'll just meet you in the Common Room."

"See ya." Gar said giving Raven's hand a quick squeeze. "Let's go Kory." He said smirking. In an instant he had morphed into a sparrow and taken off down the hall, Kory following him her laughter filling the stairway.

"Beat ya!" He said cheerfully a few minutes later dropping next to Dick on the couch in default form. Kory floated over to Silky still laughing joyfully. The small animal was curled up around one of her boots and she lovingly picked him up and cradled him as if he was her child. "You wanted to talk?" Garfield asked Dick who was absorbed in a crossword puzzle.

"Yeah." Dick said throwing the puzzle onto the Common Room table. Behind him Raven floated through the Common Room doors and landed gently before walking to the couch where she sat next to her boyfriend. "I just wanted to remind you to go talk to Victor before you and Raven start tomorrow. He's down in the garage if you want to talk to him tonight; otherwise you need to wake him up tomorrow morning."

"Oh, wow!" Garfield clapped a hand to his forehead, something the team knew he only did when actually surprised. "I'd totally forgotten. Yeah, I'll just go now and the head up to bed. I wanted to ask him something anyways. Thanks for reminding me." He stood up lazily stretching this way and that. He turned to Raven who was looking at him suspiciously. "Ask, Dick. I've gotta run. Good night, Raven." He cupped her face in his hands and kissed her slowly. "I'll see you tomorrow morning." He grinned at her.

The Common Room door hadn't fully shut when Garfield heard Raven slowly say, "Dick." He grinned pushing the elevator button and tapping the wall with ill-concealed impatience.

The elevator door opened on the garage with Victor no where in sight. Garfield took a few uncertain steps into the room before spotting his friends legs. Victor was working underneath his car again. "Hello? Garfield?" Victor's voice was strangely echoed in the car's metal undercarriage making it sound ghostly.

"Hey, Vic." The rest of Garfield's best friend emerged from underneath the car. "Dick said I should come talk to you before tomorrow morning."

"Yeah." Victor said standing up and wiping his oil smeared hands on a nearby rag. "He mentioned you'd be coming to talk to me. Once a week, right?" Garfield nodded. "Okay, so, shoot." Victor said leaning against table. Minutes passed by silently. "Gar?"

"I don't know what to talk about."

"Talk about anything. You can tell me how your week's goin', how you and Raven are, if you're nervous or upset about anything. I'm only going to be telling Dick the bare bones of what you say, Gar. Everything else stays between us." Garfield stayed silent. "C'mon man." Victor prodded gently.

"Okay." Garfield took a deep breath casting around mentally for something to say. "My week's been okay. I haven't really seen Raven much since she's been meditating all the time." He trailed off.

"What exactly are you two doin' tomorrow?" Victor asked curiously.

"She wants to know more about my past." The changeling replied looking down. "But I hate to talk about it, and parts of it aren't clear enough for me to be able to explain it. So Raven suggested I just _show_ her the memories so I won't have to try and explain them."

"Are ya nervous?" Victor asked quietly.

"Yeah. Nervous and scared." He admitted just as quietly. "She keeps saying it won't change anything but," He shook his head looking lost. "How can she say that when she doesn't even know what the memories are _like_. Raven has no idea what she'll _see_." Garfield finished distraught.

"What exactly do you think she'll see that is so awful she'll want nothing to do with you?" Victor asked a little distraught himself. "Never mind. It won't even matter. No matter what you show her Raven will realize what ya ought to be able to see. That you were a little kid in a terrible situation."

Garfield remained silent and Victor sighed. "Is there anything else ya wanna talk about BB?" Garfield considered telling him about his ever worsening nightmares but decided against it and shook his head. "You should probably get some sleep then." He said giving his friend a reassuring pat on the shoulder. "G'night."

"'Night." Garfield returned giving Vic a wave and heading out the door. "Wait!" he cried as he reached the door. "I need to ask you something. How would you feel about helping me throw Raven a birthday party? Dick already knows about it." He hurried on seeing the apprehensive look on Victor's face. "But I still need help with stuff like food. Come on Mister 'Master Chef '."

"Are you gonna royally piss Raven off by doing this?" Victor's raised eyebrow was clearly referring to Raven's 16th birthday.

"Man, is anyone ever gonna let that go? I'm sorry I didn't know she would become a portal for an evil of epic proportion on her 16th birthday." He rolled his eyes. "It'll be _fine_. So you will you help?"

"Yeah, man. I'll help."

"Thanks." Garfield smiled before leaving.

Victor watched him go shaking his head. "He'll open up eventually." He said aloud trying to reassure himself. With one last look at the closed door Victor went back to working on his car and managed to distract himself until going to bed.

Garfield awoke the next morning to a nervous stomach and the prospect of a daunting journey. He wasn't surprised to find Raven in the Common Room drinking tea. "Good morning." He said dropping a kiss on her head as he settled onto the couch with a glass of orange juice.

"Morning." Raven replied leaning her head onto his shoulder briefly. "We should start once we've both had breakfast." She said gesturing at the drinks they both held. "Do you want to eat something?"

"No." Garfield replied shaking his head so fast that he felt one of his ears flapped. "I'll save food for once this is done."

"We don't have to do this Garfield." Raven said seriously taking one of his large hands in hers. Startled Garfield looked up. Raven was looking at him but any emotion was tucked carefully away.

"Yes, we do, Raven." He said quietly running a thumb over her pale knuckles. "I may not be excited about this but that doesn't mean we shouldn't go through with it. I hate going to the dentist but I still go. I'll be fine." He drained the last of his orange juice. "Ready?" He asked standing up.

Raven nodded using their still joined hands to pull herself up. "We're going to the roof." She reminded him when they got to the stairwell. Just as with her meditation everyone had requested she stay out in the open to ease their still weary minds.

"I know, I know." He said easily leaping from stair to stair like an excited dog. Garfield threw the door open with a triumphant gesture and stood aside letting Raven go first with an impish bow.

"Sit down, just like I am." Raven instructed settling into her normal meditation position.

Garfield did as he was told and Raven lifted herself into the air before settling down a few inches closer to Garfield. "We need to be close to help steer my mindscape towards you more easily." She said to Garfield's suggestive smirk.

"What do I do?" He asked. All Raven had told him yesterday was to sit quietly and think of the memories they'd be looking at.

"Exactly what I told you to do yesterday." Of course.

'_Simple enough._' He thought taking a deep breath. "So should I . . . ?" he trialed off uncertainly.

"When ever you're ready. I'm only following your thoughts."

"Okay then." Garfield closed his eyes letting his mind wander back to the months just after he'd been bitten and the days after his parents' deaths.

He was pretty deep in Africa. Deeper than most visitors ever go. Then again he wasn't a visitor, not anymore. This was his home now. He didn't have another one. Nor did he have a family outside of the tribe.

Garfield gripped Deka, the medicine woman, tightly by the hand. Woven baskets holding candles in his parents honor were lit before being released to float down the river. As they drifted out of site becoming small orange blurs Garfield turned away pushing his face into Deka's soft, warm body as if by sheer will he could become apart of her and ease his pain.

Surprisingly strong for her age she picked him up cradling his now shaking body and quietly began to sing an African lullaby into his ear. As she turned back towards their village Garfield caught sight of the tribesmen's faces. They looked scared and uneasy starring straight at him. And the little boy buried his head into Deka's shoulder feeling pretty scared himself.

It was only three months later and Garfield was holding Deka's hand again but for a very different reason. Deka was dying and while the tribe had a new medicine woman ready to take over Garfield had no one.

He gripped her hand and tried not to cry as she whispered that he was beautiful and not to be afraid. "Never be ashamed of who you are mwanasheria a kijani." She told him her voice rasping with age and sickness. Something seemed to pass over her face and Garfield knew she was gone.

A young mother from the village laid a hand on his shoulder but Garfield was already morphing into a wolf. He howled his pain as everyone in earshot stopped starring horrified at a creature they had never even seen before. Laying his head next to her body he whimpered urgently.

Grief stricken he slipped back to his own form and lay on the dirt floor sobbing. This time though there was no comforting hand. When Garfield looked up the mother was standing against the wall her toddler pressed to her chest. Her eyes were wide and scared and Garfield quickly stood up trying to control his crying. He took a hesitant step towards her but she fled the small hut leaving him alone.

Days later and he was back in his family's old hut scooping belongings into his knapsack. Outside the villagers angry voices rose and fell as they talked about him. Garfield wasn't really sure what was going on but his name and the word demon had come up several times already. Whatever was happening; it wasn't good news for him. Frantically shoving a family picture into the bag he swung it on his back and slipped out of the hut.

Thankfully most of the tribe was grouped around the village's ever-burning fire. Garfield did his best not to look back as he slipped into the jungle, his former tribe's angry voices fading away like footsteps.

Hours later when he was too tired to walk Garfield climbed into a nearby tree as a chimp, the bag dangling from one foot. In that tree, miles from what had been his home for years, Garfield slept.

He was swinging from tree to tree the tribe tracking him below. From the size of the group every hunter in the village was running along below him. Garfield climbed high into a tree's canopy and deposited his knapsack safe from harms way. He became a bird and, after the moment it took to memorize where he was, flew away hoping he was too high to be spotted.

Somehow Garfield had managed to find the Doom Patrol's headquarters. Quietly becoming a moth he flew in as a woman – Rita he'd later find out – walked through the door. He stayed moth-formed hiding on top of a bookshelf until an alarm went off and they were called away. Once he was sure they were gone Garfield flew to the ground where he changed back to his own form.

Cautiously he moved from room to room always listening for the team's return. What he didn't notice were the security cameras following his every move.

Two weeks later and they'd finally managed to catch him. He'd been trying to take a piece of fruit from the bowl on the counter when someone had thrown a sack over him. In the darkness he'd panicked and became a rabbit, the animal he inexplicably gravitated towards when scared or worried. After a few bumpy moments in the bag he'd been released into a windowless, and apparently doorless, room.

He stayed in rabbit form staring up into the stern face of who he now knew to be Steve. "Change. Back." Steve told him in a tone that made it clear he wasn't asking. Silently Garfield changed back, doing his best not to cry both ears drooping. "You've got to be –" Steve said exasperatedly. "How old are you?" He demanded sternly.

"Seven and three quarters. Sir." He added quickly realizing how much trouble he was in.

"Where are your parents?" Steve asked suspiciously.

"I don't have any." Garfield told him looking down. "They died." He clarified quietly. "In a boating accident."

"What's your name?" Rita was never going to let this kid leave, Steve realized.

"Garfield Mark Logan." The boy looked a little less scared, one ear starting to rise slowly.

"Do you know where you _are_, Garfield?"

Garfield struggled to remember the name he'd heard over the P. A. system a few days earlier. "The Doom Patrol?" He ventured.

Steve smiled inspite of himself. "Rita!" He called. "Come in here and see what I found." Garfield grinned hopefully as an attractive woman poke her head in the door.

"R – R – Rita!" A nine-year-old Garfield shook his adoptive mother's shoulder. She lay on the ground unresponsive. As he continued to shake her, Rita's head fell to the side. With a yelp Garfield jumped away from her sightless eyes.

"Steve!" He called trying to find his adoptive father. "Steve, something's wrong with Rita! Where _are_ you?" Garfield tumbled over Rita's body and into the Doom Patrol's headquarters. He could smell smoke somewhere in the house. "Steve?" He called much more quietly.

Garfield followed his nose to the smoke's origin. Walking into the kitchen he stopped. Part of their roof was blown out. Cliff was lying in the corner his limbs torn off, the metal gleaming in the sun. Negative Man was no where in sight but Garfield saw that his bandages were littering the floor. He found Steve in the wreckage of what had once been their refrigerator.

"Steve!" He screamed running over. He slowed when he saw the bloody gash that trailed Steve's chest. "Steve, Rita – she won't –"

"I know. " Steve said raggedly. "Garfield, I need you to grab your knapsack. Put everything you have in it. Then go." Steve closed his eyes trying to catch his failing breath.

"What?" Garfield asked blankly. "Go? Go where? I can't leave! This is my home!" He was nearly crying now.

"Listen to me Garfield. I'm very, _very_ hurt. Rita and I can't take care of you any more. So I want you to go pack your stuff, and fly."

"Where?" Garfield demanded, frightened. "This is my _home_." He repeated more insistently sounding like the scared 9-year-old that he was. "Where am I supposed to go?"

"The docks." Steve seemed to be struggling with speaking. "There's enough money in the safe to put you on a ship to the U.S. If anyone gives you a problem just show them your Doom Patrol badge." A spasm racked the once strong body and Garfield started to cry silently. "Okay, buddy?" Steve asked when the spasm had passed.

"Yes." Garfield swiped away his tears.

"C'mere Gar." Using what must have been the last of his strength Steve pulled himself out of the wreckage in a sitting position. Slowly he wrapped his arms around Garfield pulling him close and kissed his forehead. "I love you, Garfield. And so did Rita. Now go."

"I love you too, Steve." Tears streaming down his face Garfield stood up with his adoptive father's blood on his shirt and slowly walked out of the kitchen. He looked back at the door but Steve, watching him leave, waved his hand in a "go" motion. Garfield waved one last good-bye and went to his room to pack. He did his best not to look at Rita as he passed by the front door.

Once outside Garfield put his knapsack, now holding pictures of both his families, on the ground and became a giant bird. Once in his new form he grabbed the back with his strong talons and slowly lifted himself into the air. He let one heart-wrenching cry tear from his throat before clamping his beak shut and beginning the long journey towards the coast.

He was 12 now and Garfield was _much_ more scared than he had been when his tribe had been hunting him. He was in a sealed plastic cage with air being filtered in and out through a machine at the top. Who ever had put him there had gone to great lengths to make sure he couldn't slip out.

Garfield cursed his stupidity at not just getting on a boat three years ago like Steve had told him. Drug dealers and poachers or no, it would have been a way out. Instead he was in a cage. Just as he was wondering if a gorilla would be heavy enough to break the plastic a man walked into the room.

He was tall and muscled with long blonde hair pulled back into a ponytail and a neatly groomed beard. Garfield was forcibly reminded of the poachers he'd seen in the jungle six years ago with his parents. Immediately Garfield gave up trying to escape and retreated into the back of the cage ready to run at a moments notice.

"Hello." The man said in a deep voice that rumbled in his chest. "I see you're awake. That was remarkably quick. It must be your animal DNA. But I suppose you don't even remember being hit by the tranquilizer, do you?" Slowly Garfield shook his head "no." The man seemed satisfied.

"I should introduce myself. I'm Jacob. And you," He walked right up to the cage pulling a collar out of a pouch at his waist. "You're mine." Before Garfield knew what was going on the cage had opened and Jacob had him by the neck. "I wouldn't change if I were you. I'd hate to squash a little green bug." Garfield froze in fear and the collar was on him.

"This is the beginning of a great partnership." He said stroking Garfield's head like one would a dog. "I've got plans for you."

Another tribe, another group of priceless relics. A much skinnier and decidedly more care-worn looking Garfield repressed a sigh. "Move." Jacob breathed in his ear. "Get the artifacts." His finger hovered over a button that would send an electric shock through Garfield's collar. "Now." Gulping Garfield jumped into an eagle feeling the collar change with him.

He soared over the village quickly spotting the headman's hut that would house the tribe's altar – and their "artifacts". As the men of the village left for a hunt Garfield landed in a tree. He quickly became a lizard and scurried down to the ground.

On the ground he crept to the now-unprotected hut of the tribe's chief and slipped inside. A colorfully woven cloth separated the chief's house from the tribe's shrine. In the semi-darkness of the hut the gems sparkled like beacons in the night.

Garfield changed to his own form feeling incredibly guilty. He pulled a sack out of his pocket marveling as he always did at the way things, including his clothes, seemed to be packed away when he transformed.

Once the bag was filled, and the altar empty, he hesitantly poked his head out the door looking around. The only person in sight was a small boy who looked two or three. Garfield put a finger to his lips hoping he would be quiet.

Too late. His mother was emerging from another hut. As she scooped her son up she saw him. She yelled something in a dialect he didn't know and soon women and children were pouring out of huts.

Feeling terrible but knowing the terrifying consequences of abandoning the bag Garfield changed into a growling grizzly bear. As gently as possible he knocked a nearby woman down. Grabbing the sack with is mouth he took off into the jungle thankful bears couldn't cry.

Tonight was the night. After nine months of captivity Garfield had finally worked out how to get his collar off.

Jacob had made the mistake of leaving Garfield to wander the station once. He thought (and told him) that the 13-year-old boy was too stupid to do anything without being told how. Clearly he had forgotten that his captive was once a member of Doom Patrol. He'd broken into Jacob's computer and found the sequence to deactivate the collar.

He knew Jacob had planned a raid for tonight but Garfield had other plans.

When Jacob sauntered into the room with Garfield's cage in it, the changeling shoved himself into a corner trying to look fearful as usual. "C'mere boy." Jacob said patting his leg. Garfield shuffled out of the cage with his head down. Jacob probably thought he was afraid. Garfield was just desperately trying to hide the growing grin on his face.

"Dinner." Jacob dropped a piece of raw meat in front of him and Garfield became a wolf ignoring his distaste in favor of the fuel provided by the meat.

"Tonight," The muscular man clipped a leash to Garfield collar. "I've got a special job for you." He gave the leash a tug and once Garfield changed back they started walking through the station. "You're gonna raid a temple."

"No." Garfield said stopping sharply so the leash pulled taut.

"What," Jacob asked in the deadly sort of calm that often speaks of insanity. "Did you just say?" His hand wandered to the electric buzzer at his waist.

"I said; No." Garfield's hand flew to the collar and in a flash it lay on the ground between them. Jacob stared at it horrified.

"How?" He spit out stumbling away from Garfield who was cracking his neck for the first time in months. There was a small scar on the back of his neck where the skin was burned from the buzzer but other than that _this _part of his body seemed fine.

"Did you forget who I was?" Garfield asked continuing to stretch. He could feel every bruise Jacob had given him last week when he had dropped, and broken, a marble statue groan gently in protest. "Steve and Rita were my adoptive parents. I was _on_ the Doom Patrol. Did you really think I was that stupid?" He walked towards Jacob who stumbled back until he hit a wall.

"What do you want?" Jacob demanded. Garfield thought he might actually wet himself.

"You're going into custody." Garfield growled struggling not to kill him in a number of forms. "But first," He smiled widely slowly picking the collar up. "I have some things to return. So I'd better put you somewhere safe. I wouldn't want you to wander off."

Before Jacob could react Garfield snapped the collar around his neck and shoved him into the cage. "I'll be back soon. Oh, and I changed the collar a bit. I wouldn't try taking it off."

Garfield blinked as he opened his eyes into the bright day light. He glanced at the sun's position; three hours had passed. Touching his face he was surprised to find it wet. When had he cried? Across from him Raven was also coming out of her trance.

Raven pushed herself onto her knees and launched herself onto him grabbing Garfield in a hug that rivaled Kory's. Slowly, with the memories still fresh in his mind, Garfield brought his arms around her back. Her body seemed fragile and she felt shaky. "Raven?" He ventured after a minute. "Are you crying?"

"I didn't know." She said into his ear. "I knew the memories were but – I didn't know Gar." He tightened his grip on her.

"It's okay, Rae. How could you have known?" He rubbed small, comforting circles on her back. She sniffed and pulled back wiping at her face. Without thinking he swiped at the remaining tears ignoring his own.

"Are you okay?" Raven asked studying his face.

"Uhm, yeah. I think so." Garfield said pressing the heel of his palms into his eyes. "I don't remember the last time I thought about Deka. Or Jacob." His face darkened as he remembered his one time captor.

"Garfield," Raven asked quietly. "What happened to him?"

"Hmm?" Garfield's mind had been somewhere else. "Oh. I brought him to the police. I still had my Doom Patrol badge hidden in my knapsack. As long as he hasn't escaped he's still sitting in a jail cell in Africa.

"You should rest, Rae. This is the most you've used your power in ages." She nodded stifling a yawn behind her hand. "I'm gonna get some lunch. Maybe hang out with Victor or something." He swiped at his eyes one last time brushing away any remaining tears. Garfield barely noticed the kiss Raven gave him as she went inside and stood on the roof a moment longer eyes closed against his memories letting the sun bathe him in warmth.

He shook himself like a dog trying to dislodge the feelings that came with the memories. With one last glance at the bay he went inside. Garfield was surprised to meet Dick on the stairs. "Hey." He said cautiously. Dick looked a little nervous.

"Hi." They stood there each waiting for the other to speak. "I saw Raven walking into her room so I figured you guys were done." Garfield nodded wondering where this was going. "Are you, uhm, okay?" If Dick hadn't been doing something really nice Garfield would have laughed at his lack of social grace.

Instead he shrugged lightly. "Yeah. I mean it was hard to see everything again but it _was_ years ago. Gotta move on ya know?" He tried to smile brightly but it felt wrong.

Dick put his hand on his shoulder in a sign on commradity. "Hey, no one's saying you don't have a right to mourn. We're all here if you need someone."

"Thanks Dick." This time when Garfield smiled it felt much more normal. The young men gripped each other's forearms in the biggest show of affection Dick could manage.

"You want some lunch? We've got veggie burgers. I figured you'd be hungry." Garfield smiled widely.

Friday dawned just as bright and sunny as the previous day had been and Raven woke up early. Not earlier than Dick though. She came down to the Common Room to find a freshly showered Dick sitting down to breakfast clearly finished with his morning workout. "Morning." She said putting the kettle on.

"Good morning, Raven." He said glancing up from the paper. "I think we may need to step up patrols. There's been a increase in the amount of muggings lately."

"More importantly," Raven said digging through the cupboards for her tea bags. Who had let Garfield put the groceries away? "Are we patrolling the right areas?" Dick was technically the Titans leader but he tended to ask for and appreciate their input. "And are we going pass them at the right time of day?"

Dick looked thoughtful. "I've got access to the police database through the computers on the Evidence level. I feel as though we're in the right places. Maybe we should start going out later. Or add a late night patrol." He trailed off now pursuing a different article.

Once Raven had finished her first cup of tea she tentatively asked "Are you ready?"

Dick studied the paper another minutes before looking up. "Yes." He said after staring blankly at the window. "The roof?" Raven nodded and Dick went to put his dishes in the sink.

They silently walked up the stairs squinting as they emerged in the bright sunlight. "Dick," Raven felt like she'd had this conversation a million times already. Hopefully this would be the last time. "Are you sure about this? You don't have to do anything you're not completely comfortable with." In her defense he did seem less sure than Garfield had.

"I have to, Raven. I can't keep having nightmares." He looked down no longer meeting her eyes. "I miss them, Raven. And I think about them everyday. But," He finally looked at her the resolve visible in his eyes. "I don't need to relive their deaths five times a week in my dreams. I can remember it well enough without that."

"Okay." Raven nodded. "Sit down." She joined Dick on the roof floor. "You need to close your eyes and think of a memory that's given you nightmares. It doesn't have to be your parents." She assured him as a pained look flowed across his face. "Just a memory that's given you nightmares."

She waited, allowing Dick a few minutes to choose a memory. "Okay, now visualize putting the memory into a box." Dick's eyes crept open to stare at her incredulously. "Just do it." He closed his eyes quickly. "The box is a barrier between your dreams and you're memories. Whatever goes in cannot cross into dreams. They are memories and nothing else."

When she was sure Dick had done as told Raven used her power to surround the "box". After the box was surrounded she removed herself leaving only the power behind.

Usually Raven needed to be in close contact with something and consciously manipulate it for her powers to work. There were exceptions though – like Malchior. Raven could, when she chose, keep her power somewhere permanently if she was willing to surrender a part of her consciousness to it. The piece was small, less than 1/500th as far as she could tell, but still Raven was usually hesitant to do so. This was, of course, more than worth it.

Slowly Raven had Dick do this with every memory that he could remember giving him nightmares over the years. Every time a new memory was added Raven needed to remove her power, allow the memory into the box, and reseal the barrier, surrounding the box over and over.

After some time (Dick too absorbed in memories and Raven guiding them to the "box" for either to notice how long exactly) Dick quietly told her, "I think that's it."

"Dick," Raven, already in his memories projected her voice straight to his mind. "Do you mind if I shuffle through the remaining memories? Anything that's given you nightmares will stick out like a sore thumb to me. The rest will be gone before I even realize what they were."

"Okay." Dick thought pretty sure Raven could hear him. She could. "Just be quick please."

"Of course." Raven left the box quickly shifting through memories that disappeared as soon as they came into focus. In the end Raven only found one other looked memory. It involved a serial rapist and a rather young child. Raven felt nauseous after seeing it.

With the last memory sealed Raven left Dick's mind. "Dick, I need you to pick one of the memories we put away. Can you still recall it? Details and everything?"

"Yeah."

"The we should be done. If everything went as it should you have the memories but they can't terrorize you anymore. Of course if you _do_ have nightmares let me know." She stood up slowly taking care to stretch her leg muscles. "How long have we been up here?"

Dick glanced at his watch. "Almost five hours. I don't get why this took so much longer than what you did with Garfield."

"With Garfield we were just looking at memories." Raven explained. "Today we had to sort, and on occasion view, hundreds of memories. This was more than remembering. It was separating and sealing."

"Okay." Dick said slowly. He, much like Bruce, felt better when dealing with the physical world as opposed to the spiritual one. What Raven had done was kind but he'd be sticking to following leas and solving crimes.

"Thanks, Raven." He said sheepishly. They were both standing at the railing looking out over the bay. "It was getting bad." Dick confessed quietly. "Worse than I wanted to admit." He turned to Raven and was amazed when she hugged him. In almost 5-years of being a team he could count on his fingers the number of times she had hugged anyone. Well, excluding Garfield. And even _that_ was mostly after they had started dating.

After a moment he raised his own arms and returned the hug tightly. "Dick." She said somewhere by his left shoulder. "I heard about what you told Gar. I hope that you realize this is _your_ family too." Raven slowly lowered her arms and Dick did the same. "We're here whenever you need someone."

"Thank you." He said quietly as they returned to looking at the bay.

"Of course, Dick. Isn't that what family's for?" She looked at the water one last time. "We should get something to eat. We missed lunch."

"Yeah." Dick said stretching. "Let's go in. Are you going back to Nevermore soon?" He asked as they walked down the stairwell towards the elevator.

"I have to." Raven said heavily. "If I don't Rage could break through the barrier. You guys thought last time was bad?" She shook her head. "She could gain control of my _mind_. I'd have no control left. Helping you and Gar let me realize that _I'm_ in control, not my emotions. I need to remind Rage of that."

Dick nodded resignedly. "When are you going back?"

"Probably Wednesday." Raven said as they entered the elevator on the 5th floor. "I'll need to meditate for a few more days."

"Would you mind staying on the roof? Just in case. I don't want another two weeks like that." Raven nodded immediately. She'd been anticipating the request. "Have you told Garfield yet?"

"I told him yesterday. He's not happy but I think Gar's accepted it." Raven hoped he had at least.

"Well can't you see how he feels?" Raven shot Dick a look. He smiled sarcastically back at her. "You know what I mean. Gar's your boyfriend. He had this huge crush on you for ages. Right when you two start getting close you disappear for two weeks leaving the rest of us in a panic. No one's blaming you!" He said hurriedly. They reached the Common Room and Dick immediately went to the fridge. "I'm just saying those two weeks were hell, especially for him. He must have told you by now that he thought it was his fault." Raven nodded.

"So we get you back and Garfield thinks things are finally back to normal." Dick had started making a turkey sandwich that was making Raven feel starved. "Now barely a month later you're going back. Obviously this is something you have to do but that doesn't make it any easier for him."

"I _know_ that." Raven said snagging a chip off Dick's plate. When he stared she said defensively "What? I haven't eaten since last night." Dick wisely shrugged and offered her half of his sandwich, which Raven gratefully accepted. She took a bite and stole another chip before continuing.

"I know he doesn't like it." She repeated. "Neither do I. It's not like this is _fun_ for me. But I have to. And I'll have to again in the future. Garfield can't freak out every time I need to deal with my emotions."

Dick had polished off his half of the sandwich and was now eating chips straight form the bag. Raven had stolen any remaining ones off his plate. "I'm sure once he sees _this_ trip go well he'll chill out. How long do you think you'll be there?"

"I don't know." Raven admitted quietly. "Time works differently in Nevermore. It's got to do with how much mental exertion is going on or something. I'm not really sure. Knowledge is the only one who can even understand it, let alone try explaining it to someone else."

Dick let out a low whistle. "You can't come back every so often or something?"

Raven shook her head. "I'll only be able to tell how much time has passed in Nevermore. Not outside of it." She smiled slightly. "It shouldn't be too long. I shouldn't have very much to do and what has to be done shouldn't take too much energy. Hopefully I'll be back in four or five days max. But I can't make you any promises, Dick."

"I know just – be careful." Raven smiled softly struck by just how much their connection had grown. "I'm not sure we can keep Garfield calm if you're gone too long." Dick's smile edged on a smirk.

"When am I not careful?" Raven wanted to know. "I'm going to talk with him before I leave. He needs to go on missions while I'm gone. The team can't afford to lose two people if we're needed. I'm perfectly safe in Nevermore. He's not going to worry himself sick over me."

"Easier said than done, Raven." Dick told her putting the dishes into the sink. He looked at his watch. "I've gotta let Bruce know that everything turned out fine and then find Kory. Thanks again, Raven. You really helped me." He squeezed her arm gently and headed for the elevator.

Raven put the chips away before teleporting herself into the fifth floor hallway. Normally she would have taken the elevator or stairs but Raven felt like testing her newly regained powers.

"Why hello there." Came a singsong voice behind her. Raven spun around to see Garfield wearing khaki shorts and a purple shirt standing in the hallway. "I see you and Dick are done. Everything go okay?"

Raven nodded unprepared for this new connection with Garfield. But no sooner had she begun to adjust to his goofy, loving thoughts brushing hers than they changed.

"Are you okay, Rae?" He asked, quickly crossing the space between them. "Do you feel alright?" He must have seen her face change when the connection hit her.

"I'm fine, Garfield." She assured him placing gentle fingers on his hips. "What have you been up to?"

"Nothing." He lied cheerfully. Raven narrowed her eyes and tilted her head. She could tell he was lying but not why. She was sure there was no maliciousness behind it though. But before she could inquire as to what he had really been doing Garfield had pressed his lips to hers and she stopped thinking about much at all.

He walked her back still kissing until Raven's back hit a door. Garfield pushed the button and wrapped his arms around Raven to keep her from stumbling when the door slid sideways. He continued to kiss her with tantalizing softness, still backing up until Raven's knees hit his lower bunk bed.

Slowly she let Garfield lower her onto the bed her arms wrapped around his neck. As she lay there with him on top of her Raven's body felt electrified wherever they touched. She tried to lose herself in the passionate kisses but Wisdom's voice broke in. _'Careful.'_ The maroon cloaked emotion breathed in her ear.

The warning took a moment to register but when Garfield's hands started to move up her body, Raven broke the kiss. Taking both of his hands in hers she kissed each gently eyes locked with his. He nodded slowly smiling a little shamefacedly and Raven gently kissed his lips thankful for his understanding gaze.

They lay there quietly kissing for almost an hour before the alarm rang. Raven shot up telepathically summoning her cloak and leotard. Wrapping a band of black energy around herself she changed quickly. When the curtain of energy fell Garfield – somehow already changed – was starring at her. "What?" She asked blankly.

"Raven, you can't go on missions with us – can you?" Raven sighed irritated.

"If I'm well enough to go into people's minds, I'm well enough for missions." She glared at him daring him to disagree.

"You may want to check with Dick first." He muttered. Raven merely glowered a bit more before pointing to the circle of energy growing on the floor around her. Clearly they would be teleporting to the Common Room. Garfield became a mouse meekly crawling into the circle.

"Don't morph while we're moving!" She warned and then they were gone.

A second later they appeared in the Common Room where Garfield quickly scurried off towards Kory. "Okay guys –" Dick stopped. "Raven, why are you in your uniform?"

Raven turned her glower onto Dick. "If I'm well enough to be in your head I'm damn sure well enough to fight." She silently dared him to disagree.

Dick took a deep breath gathering his courage and used the leader authority he so rarely called on. "Sorry Raven." He shook his head." "No go. Your powers are still too unpredictable. I don't want your powers to go haywire during a battle because you get angry. Patrols fine. But no fights, not until you get back from Nevermore."

Raven narrowed her eyes even further but Dick fixed her with his best Batman stare and after a moment she nodded and tuned cape swishing. Taking deep breaths Raven decided to meditate doing her best to ignore Dick, who was now saying "Okay, it's Killer Moth and he's got a gun that's cocooning people so watch out."

For the next four days Raven meditated for most of the day only allowing herself to be pulled away occasionally. Tuesday night Raven was out on the roof looking at the stars with Garfield

"I'm going tomorrow." She said turning her head to look at him.

"I know." Garfield said not looking away from the sky.

She leaned against him. "I'll be back soon." She felt him nod. Raven bit her lip. "Tomorrow's Wednesday." She reminded him. "Don't forget to talk with Victor." Another nod. "Garfield," Raven said sitting up. "Is everything okay?"

He sat up with her tapping his fingers gently on her leg. "I'm scared." He admitted in a quiet voice. Raven wrapped herself around him. "I know you've got to go back, but what if something happens? I just got you back and now you're off to Nevermore. What if you get trapped there or something? Or you're there too long and make yourself sick? You're barely better!" Okay, so Dick had been right.

Raven let him finish before slowly crawling into his lap. Garfield's arms immediately closed around her holding on tightly. She lay her head on his chest listening to his heartbeat.

"I'll be okay, Garfield." She promised quietly. "Last time was a full out war against Rage. Think of this as – as a clean up patrol. All the major fighting is done but there are still perimeters to secure." He nodded miserably and Raven's heart clenched as his mind brushed ever closer to hers.

She raised her head off of his chest and met his eyes. Raven took a deep breath and held both of his hands. "Listen. I don't know how long I'll be gone and I can't tell how time in Nevermore passes but," She stopped for a second before pushing on. "If I'm gone for a week call my name. I'll be able to hear you and I'll leave my mind.

"But you can't call me unless it's been a week. Leaving could be dangerous. Promise me you won't let anyone disturb me unless a week passed."

"I promise, Raven." And with Raven still nestled against him he lay back on the Tower roof kissing her head. "I'll miss you." He said quietly.

"I'll miss you too. Hopefully that will prompt my emotions to be quick." They smiled at each other.

"It's almost one." Garfield said looking at the moon with sharp eyes. "We should go in. You don't want to be tired when you wake up tomorrow."

Raven clung to him even tighter as she said resignedly. "You're right." She went to kiss him good night but a good night kiss turned into several. Minutes passed before they separated, standing in each other's arms.

"Wake me up on your way to the roof, okay?"

"Okay." Raven promised. They walked downstairs and after a bit more good night kissing both were in bed.

Raven awoke to the third early morning that greeted her bright and sunny. But today Raven was nervous. She _knew_ that she could bring order back to Nevermore. But she was worried about going back. It was, she had rationed, like breaking a bone. Even when the bone's fully healed a tendency to baby it often remains. The only true solution was to use the bone and proved it's healed. Raven had to go to Nevermore to prove her power in only to herself.

She got dressed in yoga pants and a light comfortable T-shirt and left her room. Creeping through the hall so as not to wake Kory Raven opened Garfield's door.

Raven lifted herself into the air and watched amusedly as Garfield flickered idly between a mouse and himself. He was dreaming peacefully. She waited for him to change back to his own form before putting her lips next to his ear. "Garfield." She said quietly letting the word stretch on her lips. "Time to get up."

He rolled over towards her eyes blinking rapidly. "Is – " He yawned. "Is something wrong?" He pushed himself off the bed. "Oh." Garfield said with dawning comprehension. Turning into a sleek tabby he stretched before jumping off the bed and landing lightly on the floor. Purring loudly he rubbed himself along her legs.

"Come on" Raven said laughing. "I want to eat and get started before everyone wakes up for the day." Garfield morphed back and together they went downstairs.

To Raven's surprise Dick was sitting at the table eating breakfast. She'd known he would be awake but had assumed he would be in the Evidence Room like he normally was.

"Hey, dude." Garfield greeted plopping down next to Dick. He poured soymilk into a bowl of Spaceships and Aliens (his favorite cereal) and stole the comics.

"Good morning." Raven said while making her own breakfast of French toast and bacon. She was hoping to keep her strength up while in Nevermore.

"Hey guys." Dick returned. "You're going?" He looked at Raven; there was no need to be more specific.

"Once I eat." Raven answered. "I'll be back as soon as possible. Garfield knows how to reach me if there's an emergency."

Dick nodded, "Gar are you – ?"

"He's going on patrols and missions." Raven cut in firmly looking at her boyfriend. It had taken 20 minutes of arguing but he'd finally relented.

"I know, I know." Garfield said easily as if he had never fought her about it. Raven's threat of withholding kisses had certainly helped. "You'd think I was five the way she talks." He said to Dick grinning.

Dick smiled slightly. "Imagine that." He said dryly. "Be careful, Raven." He said seriously. Their mental connection was closer than ever and Dick was soon amazed to find himself being hugged by Raven for the second time in less than a week. When she let go he kissed her forehead gently as a brother or father might and was grateful for Garfield's understanding nod. "We'll see you in a few days."

"I'll walk up to the roof with you." Garfield offered. Raven nodded and took his hand waving good-bye to Dick. She gripped his hand tightly and tired not to be nervous.

They emerged on the roof bathed in bright sunlight. Garfield became a lizard soaking up the late summer sun. He scampered across the roof before taking his true form once more.

Raven crossed the roof and hugged him tightly. "I'll miss you." She said quietly into his ear. "Take care of yourself, okay?" Garfield nodded looking sad despite the smile on his face. "I'll see you in a week." Raven gripped him tighter than ever. She kissed him softly before pulling away. "Bye."

"Bye." Garfield said letting her go. "Have fun." She shot him a dark look. "Hey, it could be fun!" He said holding his hands up.

Raven settled on the roof floor taking several deep breaths. For all that she was nervous this also felt so right. She enjoyed meditating. The abbreviated version had been like being given a bite of ice cream and then denied the bowl. It was the closest thing to a homecoming Raven had ever known.

"_Azarath. Metrion. Zinthos."_ She chanted feeling her emotions welcome her back.

Garfield left the roof when Raven started chanting but went straight down the Tower to the beach. He quickly became an otter gliding underwater. The other life forms in the bay swirled around him and he quickly found some fish to chase. Even if he wouldn't _eat_ them it was still good exercise.

Eventually he got tired and, after lounging on a warm rock, decided to go back inside the Tower. Dick and Kory were out so it was just Garfield and Victor lazing around the Common Room.

"It's Wednesday, man." Victor reminded him gently as their favorite show _Japanese Game Shows!_ Ended.

"I know." Garfield said with a sigh.

"How are you and Raven doing? You okay with her leaving?" He turned off the television.

"We're fine." Garfield said leaning back on the couch, his hands tucked behind his head. "And it's not like I have a choice."

"Ya know what I mean, BB" Victor gently prodded. "Are ya freaking out?"

"A little." Garfield admitted. "I'm actually kind of excited."

Victor raised his human eyebrow. "Excited." He repeated.

"Yeah." Garfield said craning his head sideways to see him. "Raven's birthday is in two and a half weeks! I've still got tons of stuff to figure out. And how often do you get days to plan surprise party without having to worry about the guest of honor finding out? As long as I can keep Kory quiet we should be fine."

"I see." Victor said slowly. "How are ya doin' other wise?"

Garfield shrugged. "Okay." He looked down. "A little worried." Victor cocked his head. "For a really long time I've been having these awful nightmares. Mostly stuff that happened when I was younger." Victor looked concerned. "After last week though, they calmed down. I haven't even had any these past two nights. I'm worried that now that Rae's gone they'll come back."

Victor leaned back on the couch thinking. "Game Station." He said suddenly.

"What?" Garfield asked looking at their Game Station with confusion.

"Game Station." Victor repeated firmly. "We're gonna play Game Station every night until you're too wiped out to dream. I bet Dick would set up some sort of tournament with us. A good gaming marathon with plenty of pizza should wipe you out."

Garfield was grinning from ear to ear. "Man, with _Aliens Ate My Neighbors_ and _Adlez: A Chain To The Future_. It'll be kick ass!"

"Gar." The changeling froze in the middle of his fist pumping. "If you're still having nightmares you can talk to me. I have time outside of Wednesday, ya know." Victor smiled gently.

"Thanks, man." Garfield said as Kory and Dick walked in holding hands.

"Oh, hello friends!" Kory said smiling excitedly.

"Hey." Dick said smiling as well but much more calmly.

"Hey." Both boys returned. "How was lunch?" Victor asked.

"Great." Dick answered. "That restaurant you recommended was amazing. Thanks!"

"No problem, man. Victor always knows when it comes to food!" He said cackling slightly.

"Hey, Kory." Garfield twisted around on the couch. "D'you wanna go shopping with me?"

"But did we not just go to the market of superness two days ago?" Kory asked uncertainly.

"Different type of store." Garfield explained. "I've gotta get some decorations for Rae's party. You're in charge of putting all this stuff up so I thought you'd like to come. Help me pick some things out, you know?"

"Oh, yes!" She cried happily. "There is a wonderful store in the mall of shopping that is just perfect!" With that she grabbed Garfield's hand and they were off. Kory dragged him to the roof happily telling him how much quicker flying would be.

Garfield, released from Kory's grip, became a red tail hawk and followed the princess across the bay.

"What colors were you thinking of decorating our beloved home in?" Kory asked when they landed in the parking lot. Garfield couldn't help the smirk spilling across his face as one young man's eyes after another followed Kory through the doors. In a rather detached way (he was far too close to the young alien to think of her as anything but a sister) Gar could see the appeal. Kory looked beautiful even though she was just wearing a green T-shirt and jeans.

"Remember how Raven said her favorite color was yellow?" He asked as they passed a jewelry store.

"Yes!" Kory exclaimed gleefully her eyes lighting up.

Raven looked around curiously. The realm she was in looked unfamiliar. "Hello?" She ventured staring at the wildflowers. They seemed to be growing out of craters in the ground. When no one answered Raven headed towards the house. It looked like Brave's but had a deep purple trim instead of green. In the distance she spotted what looked like the walls of Timid's maze.

Just as Raven put her hand on the door handle Love appeared. "Hi!" She said smiling. Raven let the door handle go and Love seized her in a hug.

"Hi, Love." She stared at the door. "You know, I've never been inside one of your homes."

Love shrugged. "For good reason, I'm sure. Knowledge didn't really go into specifics. She just said you'd be happier staying outside." Raven nodded, she'd learned to listen to Knowledge over the years.

"How far is your realm from Rage's?" Raven looked around for the road.

"Other end." Love answered quickly. "We've got a bit of a journey. But how are you and Garfield?" She asked slyly.

"Fine." Raven answered blushing slightly. "Do I need to see anyone?"

"Hope, Knowledge, and Wisdom are all waiting for us on the very edge of Rage's realm. They need to talk to you about reinforcing the barrier."

"So it's held?" Love nodded happily and Raven breathed a small sigh of relief. "Let's go then." She reached out a hand, which Love took, and brought them through Nevermore to Rage's realm.

While Raven knew she would have felt Rage breaking out of the barrier it was still a relief to see it standing strong. No sooner had she thought this then there was a huge crashing noise. Raven looked closely at the barrier where she could just see Rage throwing herself against it.

"She's been doing that since she woke up." A voice behind her said. Raven turned to see Knowledge smiling from behind her glasses. "I'm glad you're well again, Raven."

"Thanks Knowledge. It's nice to be back to normal. Where's Wisdom?"

"Here." The maroon cloaked emotion seemed to appear at Raven's elbow. "I hope you've grown from your experiences." Raven bowed her head.

"Hello, Raven." Hope said clasping her hand. "It's so good to see you." She squeezed Raven's hand tightly. "Are you ready?"

"What do I have to?" Raven asked. She just wanted to be done and go home.

"It will be very similar to before." Knowledge said tucking a book into the folds of her cloak. "You've got a small amount of power that was unused before. You'll use it to extend the barrier. Make it stretch to the door and be twice as thick.

"We emotions can no longer travel through Nevermore without using the portals unless you are with us. It will be more complicated but should help to slow Rage should something happen.

"Once you reinforce the barrier though, she should be trapped here permanently."

Raven nodded. "Why are all of you here though? Do I need all of you to supervise?"

"Because this will take time Raven, and you will tire." Wisdom told her. "We will be here when you do to lend you our power. It will be hard Raven, but you are equal to it."

"Okay." Raven said nodding again. "Let's get started then."

Love smiled knowingly. "You must be eager to get back to Garfield." Raven ignored her.

"Work your way around the barrier moving clock-wise." Knowledge advised. "We will walk behind you and supply you with extra power when needed."

Raven took a deep breath and approached the barrier with hands that trembled slightly. She closed her eyes calling on the power she had unwittingly stored. When Raven opened her eyes she was once again looking at her surroundings through a multicolored screen.

Slowly Raven directed the power at the wall bringing it closer and closer to the edge of the realm. Occasionally Raven would see a specific color grow and knew her emotions were supplying her with extra power. For all that she was aware of it though, she could not feel it.

The barrier parameter seemed endless and Raven felt as if she had been working for hours on end. Only when Raven tired to reinforce a wall that had already been expanded did she realize she was done.

She let go of the power and fell only to have Wisdom catch her. "Are you okay?" Raven nodded too exhausted to speak. "Leave, Raven." Wisdom told her. "All is well in Nevermore."

Raven slowly stood up. "Good bye." She told everyone stifling a yawn. _"Azarath. Metrion. Zinth –"_ The scene shifted and disappeared.

Raven opened her eyes sitting, once again, on the roof floor. _'Sunset. But what _day_ is it? Less than a week, but still. How long have I been gone?' _Slowly Raven unfurled her legs ignoring the cramps.

After a few minutes of massaging her legs she gave up and flew inside and down several flights of stairs. She didn't expect anyone to be coming _up_ the stairs.

"Raven?" Victor hurried up the stairs between them. "Hey! Are you okay?"

"Yeah. Just tired." Raven with a weary smile. "What day is it?"

"Saturday. You just missed dinner but I'll make ya something. Everyone's down in the Common Room. C'mon." And without further ado he scooped her up.

"Victor!" Raven protested. "I'm fine. I can _fly_!"

"Save your strength. Jeez, I never realized how small you really are. That's not an insult." He added when Raven glared at him. He teased her gently the rest of the way to the Common Room; Raven too tired to protest.

"Oh, Titans!" He called stopping outside the door. "Look what I found!" They burst into the room. Garfield and Kory were both resting on their knees looking over the back of the couch. Dick was half out of his chair ready to help Victor is needed. "Ta-da!" He said setting Raven on her somewhat shaky feet.

"Hi." Raven said shyly.

Before she could say anything else Garfield had leaped over the back of the couch and swept Raven back off her feet. "You're back!" He yelled joyfully. "When did you wake up? Did everything go all right? Are you hungry? I'm sure we can fix you something."

"Garfield! _Garfield!_" Dick yelled. "Calm down." He told the changeling with a smile. "Why don't you sit down, Raven?" Raven floated gratefully over to the couch dragging Garfield along by the hand.

"Oh, friend! It is so nice to have you amongst us once again!" Kory exclaimed floating a few inches off the couch in her excitement. "How do you feel?"

"I'm fine." Raven said loudly enough for everyone to hear. "Just tired. It's gonna be nice to go to bed, that's for sure." She sat on the couch with her friends for the next two hours. At one point Victor handed her a turkey sandwich that she ate gratefully. Eventually though, Dick noticed her dozing off and ordered her to bed.

"I'll take her!" Garfield volunteered. He scooped Raven off the couch. Raven, almost asleep, had no energy to protest. Garfield carefully carried her to the elevator and then into the hall. By the time he was in her room Raven had fallen asleep. He pulled back the covers and gently laid her in bed. Once she was covered Garfield kissed her head, whispered "Good night", and left.

"Raven." She rolled over trying to ignore whoever was talking. "Raven." The voice, a male's, said again. "C'mon. It's time to get up. You've been asleep for over 12 hours. Wake up Rae." Blinking Raven opened her eyes. Her sight slid onto the clock at her bedside. 11:34 the numbers glared at her. Whoever had awoken her hadn't been lying. Who woke her up at all?

"Morning." She yawned turning towards the voice. Her suspicions were proven correct when she found Garfield standing beside her bed. "Is there any breakfast?" Garfield nodded and Raven pushed herself up. Looking down she realized she hadn't changed or showered in five days. "I'll meet you in the Common Room. I'm gonna take a shower first."

"Okay," Garfield agreed. "But if you're not downstairs in 30 minutes I'm coming to get you." He warned raising his eyebrows suggestively.

28 minutes later Raven stepped into the hallway wearing a dark blue T-shirt and gray jeans. Raven felt better than she had in ages though she suspected the shower was probably a large part of that. She'd only made a few tentative steps down the hall when Kory stepped out of her own room.

"Friend Raven!" Kory had on a long yellow dress that fit her perfectly.

"Hi, Kor. You look nice today." She smiled; mentally laughing at how Dick would surely react.

"Thank you, friend!" Kory said happily. "To tell the truth I am hoping Dick will notice." She looked cautiously hopeful.

"Oh, he'll notice." Raven assured her friend. "Are you going to the Common Room?" Kory nodded. "Let's fly." Raven said smiling.

Garfield was leaving the Common Room as Raven and Kory flew in. "Why, hello there." H said sitting back down at the table. "Hungry?"

"Starving." Raven answered.

"Then you're in luck." Victor said piling plates onto the table. "I've prepared a full gourmet buffet experience for you Raven. And before you ask Salad head, _yes_, you're disgusting tofu bacon is here too." Garfield smiled brightly ignoring the slight on his beloved food.

"This looks delicious." Raven said pull the bacon towards her already pancake-filled plate. "This _is_ delicious." Raven corrected herself after a few bites. "Thank you, Victor."

"No problem, Rae. Eat up, there's plenty of food." Raven had just finished her incredibly delicious, and large, breakfast when Kory asked if they could spend the day at the beach.

"Oh friends! It will be such fun! We can go swimming and have a picnic. Please let us go friends!" Dick smiled happily; obviously ready to go along with whatever Kory wanted. _Clearly_ her dress wasn't going unnoticed.

"Uhm, Star." Raven could see that, as usual, she'd have to be the voice of reason. "Do you even own a bathing suit. Do any of us?" She asked looking around.

"Guys never really grow out of bathing suits." Garfield told her cheerfully. "Besides, we can wait for you and Kor to go to the mall. I'm sure Victor'll be packing a massive picnic."

"Already on it!" Victor called his head stuck in the fridge. "Go get bathing suits!"

"Yes, let us go Raven!" Kory said tugging her away from the table. "It will be most fun!"

"I'm coming." Raven said trying not to glower. "Can I have the card, Dick?"

"Sure." Dick said trying not to laugh at Raven. He reached into his utility belt and pulled out the Titans credit card.

Jump City didn't exactly pay the Teen Titans for their work. And obviously some of them, like Dick, could get whatever they needed on their own. Instead the Titans were given a charge card which they could use for whatever they needed including groceries and clothing, as well as "fun" stuff like movies and video games. The City picked up the bill. It was Jump City's way of saying "Thank you."

Raven slid the card into a small purse Kory had given her for Christmas and sighed before telling her friend, "Let me teleport us there. It'll be quicker."

"Okay!" Kory said happily coming to stand next to her friend. The grasped hands and disappeared leaving the boys standing in the Common Room.

They appeared right outside the main entrance to Jump City Mall. Crowds were just starting to filter into the shopping center. Thankfully Kory knew exactly where to go and took off. Both girls tried to ignore any shoppers who seemed to recognize them.

Once though a little boy tore away from his mother's hand and launched himself onto an unsuspecting Raven. His mother rushed over apologizing as Raven stared down at him unsure of how to proceed. "Hello." She said trying to sound friendly as his mother stood next to Kory looking embarrassed.

"Hi." He sounded awestruck. "I'm Liam an' I'm four an' a half." He blinked slowly. "You're Raven." Liam added as if she didn't know. "You're a super hero."

"That's right, I am." Raven kneeled to his eye level. "It's nice to meet you Liam." She looked a little helplessly at Kory who smiled encouragingly and his mom who was laughing behind her hand.

"I'm gonna grow up an' be a super hero too." Liam told her solemnly. She smiled at him. He was kind of cute. "An' then," He went on excitedly. "When I'm all grown up, I'm gonna marry you!" Raven felt her smile drop a little and she looked back at his mother.

"I'm sorry." She said coming to kneel with Raven. "You're his favorite hero and he's just in love with you. Liam," She turned to her son. "Can you thank Raven for talking to you?"

"Thank you, Raven." He chorused obediently. His eyes hadn't left her.

"Did you want to go to the toy store?" Liam nodded but didn't move otherwise. "Let's go then." She said gently taking his hand.

"Wait!" He cried. "Do we have my coloring book an' crayons?" For some reason his mom shot an apologetic look in Raven's direction before nodding. She handed him his coloring book and a purple crayon.

Liam flipped busily through the pages, his back to Raven. Apparently he found the pictures he was looking for because there were two loud ripping sound and he turned around. Raven felt herself blanche when she saw what he was holding. In his hand were two surprisingly well-colored pictures of herself from some sort of Teen Titans coloring book.

"Can you sign this? Please?" He asked eyes wide holding out the topmost picture. Raven felt herself blush even as she took the crayon from his hand. She could here Kory giggling but didn't look up.

_To Liam,_ She wrote

_Thank you for being my biggest fan!_

_I'll see you when you save the world one day!_

She hesitated before drawing a heart next to _Raven_

"Here you go, Liam." Raven said with a smile. She handed him his crayon and book page back. He promptly dropped both and threw his arms around Raven's neck.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you!" He yelled squeezing her tighter than ever. Raven gently hugged him back but looked at his mother pleadingly.

"Liam." His mother said gently. "Let Raven go. I'm sure she has shopping to do and so do we. Say good bye."

"Good bye!" He said letting go. "Thank you! Oh! This ones for you!" Liam informed her handing the other coloring book page to her. It was another colored-in picture of Raven but next to it Liam had drawn himself holding her hand and smiling.

"Thank you very much. Bye Liam." Raven said standing up. "It was nice to meet you." She smiled.

"It was _amazing_ meeting you." He said solemnly and Raven blushed again. As his mother took his hand and led him away she mouthed 'thank you!' over her shoulder. Raven heard him ask as the crowd began to divide them "Can we hang it in my room? _Please_?"

Kory started to laugh uncontrollably. "Don't." Raven said pleadingly. She covered her face with her hands. She carefully folded the picture in half and put it in her purse. "Let's just go get bathing suits. Please."

"Your face." Kory bit out between peals of laughter. "You looked as if you had seen a vlidaer!" But she started walking again and Raven followed her suddenly much keener on getting a bathing suit.

Raven had rarely felt more thankful then when they arrived at _What Suits You?_ the malls beach store. Kory was quickly distracted by a bright green bikini. Raven took a deep breath and plunged into the sea of colors.

Over all, Raven was horrified by the lack on one piece's but figured she could live with a bikini. It took three trips to the changing room but finally Raven found it. A modest forest green halter top with a thick band that ran under her breasts. The bottom was the same color in a style Kory called "boy shorts".

Kory took much longer. After a half-hour she had narrowed her choices down to three. The first was a deep orange one that looked like a bra and panty set to Raven. The next was bright green and a little _too_ revealing. They'd never get Dick, or any other guy, to stop starring. Finally she had a light purple bikini that showed off her impressive hips and breasts without being obscene.

"The third one." Raven said quickly praying her friend would listen. Thankfully Kory did choose that suit and 15 minutes later Raven gratefully teleported them home.

"How was the mall?" Dick asked when they appeared back in the Common Room. Kory gleefully told him about Liam while Raven stood off to the side and blushed. "Looks like Gar's got some competition." When Raven glared at him he changed the subject.

"We're almost ready. I've got to change and Garfield's finding the beach towels but then we can go."

"Raven and I shall go change and then return to the Common Room." Kory announced. She swept out of the room and Raven trailed after her still feeling faintly embarrassed. "I do hope Dick likes my bathing suit." Kory fretted.

"I'm sure he will." Raven reassured her trying not to fall to the same fears herself. They separated into their rooms to change. Raven pulled on her bathing suit, followed by a pair of gym shorts and a T-shirt. She pulled Liam's picture out of her purse and carefully taped it to her wall. It _was_ sweet.

Raven emerged into the hallway to find it empty. She ducked into the bathroom and grabbed the sunscreen that the boys had, of course, forgotten.

"Raven?" Kory was in the hallway looking for her. Raven poked her head around the corner and smiled. They were both wearing the same shirt. It was a light blue T-shirt with the word _Tokyo_ splashed across the front, a gift from the City for the Titans help.

"Ready?" Raven asked as Kory braided her long red hair so it wouldn't tangle in the water. At her request Raven helped her pin it up off of her neck.

"Yes friend!" She replied and they took the elevator down to the Common Room where the rest of the team was waiting.

Twenty minutes later they pulled into the empty parking lot at an almost deserted beach along lower Jump City. The Titans piled out of the car and lugged their bags down to the beach. Jump City had been relatively quiet lately but everyone had brought their uniforms just in case.

It was a beautiful day with plenty of sun and temperatures hovering in the lower 80's. Once everyone had slathered on sunscreen (no one wants to fight crime _and_ a sunburn) they sat down to eat Victor's picnic. He had packed a lot of food but there is never enough for three teenage boys and soon it was gone.

After the picnic Garfield went into the water while Victor and Dick unrolled plans for a massive sandcastle. Raven and Kory sat on the beach watching in awe. Both boys collected bucket after bucket of water. _'Where,'_ Raven wondered to herself. _'Did we _get_ all of these beach toys?'_

By the time Garfield come out of the water shaking himself like a dog the castle's base layer was down. "Here." Victor threw a spoon at a startled Garfield who caught it. "Make windows. _Carefully._" Soon all three boys were working in tandem, while Kory and Raven edged away.

"We are going down to the waters edge friends." Kory said after a minute when no one noticed them stand up. Dick waved a hand in their direction before telling Victor to reinforce the south wall. Raven rolled her eyes and grabbed Kory's hand pulling her away.

They walked down to meet the tide, cooling their feet in the water. "Oh I do love beaches!" Kory said happily wading out. Raven followed her enjoying the cool water lapping up against her thighs. "We do not have them on my planet." She told Raven looking up as if her home planet would suddenly become visible.

"Really?" Raven asked trying to remember if she had seen any standing water on Tameran. She hadn't.

"Oh no." Explained Kory. "Our water is all surrounded by uninhabitable land. My people must drain water away from the source. I believe it is called irrigation on Earth?" She looked questioningly a Raven who nodded. "But our systems extend much farther than those on this planet. They cross entire land masses."

Raven couldn't even imagine a system that big as said as much. "Your planet always seemed so fertile." She commented and Kory quickly launched into a discussion of irrigation techniques, which left Raven's head spinning. "Let's go see how the boys are doing." Raven suggested 15 minutes later and was relieved when Kory agreed.

Raven could practically feel her eyes growing as the sandcastle came into sight. In the half-hour or so they had been gone the castle had reached the top of her shoulder and was still growing. "What are you building?" She asked wonderingly.

"A replica of Wayne Tower in Gotham City." Dick told her glancing up briefly. "Don't look at me like that." He said. "This was all Victor."

"It's one of the tallest buildings in the world!" Victor chimed in enthusiastically "Garfield's making the letters right now and I'm finishing the tower itself with Dick."

Raven stared for a few more minutes. "Okay." She said finally. "I'm going to go read. Don't forget to put sunscreen back on." Raven sank into one of the beach chairs they had brought pulling a book from the bag she had packed.

Everything was quiet 20 minutes later when Kory tentatively asked, "Friends, who is standing on the hill?" They all turned – even the boys who were just putting the finishing touches on their tower – and saw a man surrounded by animals. "Wilderness?" Kory suggested.

"No." Victor said shading his human eye from the sun. "I don't think it's him. It might be – "

"Jacob." Garfield cut Victor off. "It's Jacob


	11. 1, 2, 3, Surprise!

**A/N:** I apologize for how long this has taken me. I would have had this posted right before New Years but two days after Christmas I got kicked out of my house and that, alone with a myriad of other personal issues, led to the delay of this chapter. I do have a bit of good news. Chapter 12 is right next door to being complete and I should have plenty of time to type it up. Thank you to those who have reviewed during my absence and kept asking about this story. I hope it lives up to the wait, guys. And now, on with the show! Please, as always, tell me what you think!

**Chapter 11**

**1, 2, 3, Surprise!**

Dick's eyes widened in worry even as he shouted, "Titans, go!" Kory, Dick, Raven and Victor sprung into action. The former three pulled uniforms on over bathing suits while Victor charged his sonic cannon. Garfield stood frozen as Jacob walked calmly down the hill looking like he did this every day. The animals trailed behind him and the changeling tried not to look at them.

"You're in jail." He said finally as Jacob neared. "You're supposed to be in Africa." Garfield protested as the team made a protective barrier in front of him.

"Have you missed me?" Jacob asked one hand on the neck of a tiger beside him. Garfield flinched back feeling nauseated. He held a collar dangling from two fingers and Garfield shrank back even further started to shake. "Come." He commanded softly. Before he knew he was moving Garfield hit Dick's shoulder.

"Beast Boy!" Dick said sharply. Garfield blinked and backed up behind Victor. "What do you want?" The Titan's leader shot viciously at Jacob.

"Robin." Jacob drawled. "We haven't met before, have we? Allow me to introduce myself. I'm – "

"I know who you are." Dick interrupted in a voice remarkably like Batman's. "What I asked is what you're doing here. You've still got 11 _years_ of your sentence left. What do you want?"

Jacob smiled predatorily. "Go." He said softly and the animals attacked.

"Titans!" Dick called pulling out his bo staff. "Cyborg, use your tranquilizers. Starfire, cover Beast Boy. Raven keep the animals away from everyone. I've got Jacob. Go!"

Everyone moved into action as Garfield tried to pull himself together. _It doesn't make sense!_ His confused brain screamed over and over as he tried to process what was going on. Kory was starbolting any animal who got too close while trying to back them both up towards the car.

"What do you want?" Dick yelled attacking Jacob with his bo staff. "You won't get Beast Boy!" He promised when there was no answer.

"Oh, I don't want the mongrel. Not this time. Not yet." Jacob sad, calmly ducking a blow to the head. "I want her." He pointed to Raven and Dick paused long enough to get punched in the face.

"Titans!" He called spitting blood out of his mouth. Everyone's attention turned to him even as they kept fighting. "Reconfigure. Starfire put Beast Boy in the car and then do the same with Raven. Now!" Kory nodded and scooped Garfield up. "Cyborg, where are you with the tranquilizers?"

"Workin' on it man!" He hit a wolf that went down immediately. "I should have them all out in five mines. Seven max." Dick nodded and turned back to Jacob, but he was gone.

"Fight's over guys! Help Cyborg with the animals and then pack up. We're going back to the Tower."

Minutes later they were all in the car and Raven was desperately trying to get a shocked Garfield to talk. "Garfield, it's okay. We're fine. Talk to us, Gar." Her hands roamed his face trying to get his focus on her. "Come on, we're safe." He turned dark eyes on her.

"We're not safe, Raven." Garfield said flatly.

*

"Home." Dick said 10 minutes later his voice ringing out into the silence. "Everyone to the third conference room. We need to make a plan. Just leave all the beach stuff in the car."

Everyone surrounded Garfield as the walked through the Tower, subconsciously trying to protect him even now. Kory looked worried, Raven expressionless, and both Victor and Dick were angrier looking than anyone could ever remember. Garfield just looked scared and Raven held his hand tightly.

"Okay, guys." Dick pulled his mask off as everybody sat down. "We've got a situation." Victor snorted. Dick ignored him and turned to the room's computer looking up whatever he could find. "According to this Jacob escaped six months ago. He doesn't have any known criminal connections in Jump and doesn't appear to be working with or for anyone." He looked grimly at his team. "That leaves us with the pretty obvious question of why he's after Raven."

"Why would he be after any of us?" Kory asked.

When Garfield kept his head on the table, obviously not about to answer, Dick asked as gently as he could "Do you want me to explain?" Garfield nodded miserably and Dick gave a brief overview of what had happened when the green boy was younger. By the time he was finished Kory couldn't decided if she wanted to hug her friend or kill the man who had done so many terrible things to him.

They talked and talked but no one could think of any reason for Jacob to target the pale empath. It was two hours before Victor voiced what they had all been thinking. "Raven shouldn't go on patrols until we catch him."

"_What_?" Raven asked dangerously.

"He's _hunting_ you." Victor said somewhere between fear for her and anger at the situation. "I don't want you getting hurt." He said fiercely.

"Bull shit." Raven spat out. "We live dangerous lives. It was one thing when you guys were concerned about my powers but this is completely different. I don't care who is after me, I won't hide like a scared child." She glared around the table where everyone else was thinking over what their teammates had said.

"Raven's right." Dick said after a minute. "We all know she can handle herself in the field. I don't like that she's such a big target, and we'll have to be careful but keeping her behind isn't an option. Not against an opponent this dangerous.

"Garfield." The changeling looked up for the first time. "I need you to tell us everything you can about Jacob." Garfield nodded." And I need to know if you're up to this." The two boys locked eyes nobody moving. After a seemingly endless minute Garfield nodded again.

"Okay guys." Dick said standing up. "Let's go."

*

"Are you sure you still want to do this, Gar?" Victor asked as his best friend dug through a party supply store bag.

"Birthdays don't stop for psychos man." Garfield answered triumphantly holding up a handful of bright yellow streamers.

It had been two weeks since Jacob had appeared on the beach. They'd scoured the city more than once and were paying special attention to who was committing what crime but hadn't found a trace of him. The only thing he had left behind were the animals that seemed to belong to no one at all and were currently living at Jump City Zoo. Thus the Titans were stuck waiting for Jacob to make a move.

"I've been planning this party for months." He went on. "Jacob will _not_ ruin her birthday." He stood up resolutely and started hanging the last of the streamers across the Common Room. "Is her cake done?"

"Yep!" Victor answered finishing one last yellow rose. "When's she coming home?"

"Ten minutes." Dick answered from the doorway. "Kory just called. They're leaving the movies right now. Are you guys ready?"

"Almost." They answered in unison. "Help me with the balloons?" Garfield asked as Victor carefully carried his cake to the table that was already stacked with presents.

"Vic, you should probably watch for them on the security cameras." Dick said as he picked up a yellow balloon.

Eight minutes later Dick and Garfield had just finished hanging a huge banner that read _Happy 18__th__ Birthday Raven!_ When Victor said "They're here!"

There was a burst of activity as they all ducked for hiding spots around the room. "Kill the lights!" Dick whispered urgently and Victor shut off all power to the Common Room.

"Remember the signal." Victor whispered as Kory's voice floated down the hallway. "My sensors will beep three times and then we jump out and yell surprise. Here we go!"

"Oh come friend!" Kory said approaching the door. "We must pop the corn!" Raven mumbled something in response and they all heard the soft _snick_ of the door opening.

"Who pulled the shades down?" Raven asked stepping into the Common Room. "I thought you said everyone was home Kory? So why is it pitch black in here?" _Beep! Beep! Beep!_ "What was that?" Dick had a startling moment's clarity that maybe throwing a surprise party for a super hero was a bad idea before he was yelling –

"Surprise!" The light shot on to show Raven standing defensively, magic gathered around her hands. Looking around the room she let it drop and stood staring blankly at them.

"Happy birthday, Raven!" Garfield said coming to hug her.

"Thanks." She said weakly trying to take in the _very_ yellow Common Room. "How did you guys do all of this?"

"Garfield's been planning this ever since you got back from Nevermore." Victor said grinning at Raven's obvious shock. "We all pitched in but Gar put it all together."

"Oh friend, do you like it?" Kory asked floating a few inches off the ground.

"Yes, I do. Thank you guys. This was really nice." Raven squeezed Garfield's hand.

"Presents!" Garfield yelled pulling Raven over to the sizeable stack sitting next to her cake. Everyone grabbed their present and sat on the couch or floor while Raven was given her gifts.

"Here, friend!" Kory said handing Raven a rather lumpy package. Raven opened it apprehensively bracing herself for the worst. Instead she was pleasantly surprised to find a dark blue scarf that Kory had knitted herself.

"Thank you." She said warmly giving her closet friend a hug. "It'll be warm in winter." It was rather well knit for what Raven was sure had been her first project. Kory beamed.

"Rae." Victor held out his gift. Raven unwrapped it to find a beautiful, black leather journal. Her name was inscribed on the cover in silver cursive.

"Victor, this is wonderful." She said softly running her fingers over the cover.

"Everyone needs a place to rant." He slung an arm around her. "This'll help you sort the stuff that's in your head out on paper."

"Thank you," She said again setting it down next to her.

Dick silently held out a wrapped box. Inside wrapped in tissue paper was a green book so dark it seemed almost black. The writing on the cover was too faint to read, faded with age. Curious Raven looked at the spine and gasped softly. She quickly found the copy write date on one of the inside pages.

"Dick." The expression on her face was somewhere between shock, awe, and reproach. "You shouldn't have – I can't accept – This must have cost a – " Raven stopped abruptly as Dick held up a hand.

"Don't." He said firmly. "You are one of my best friends, Raven. _Take the gift._ Besides there _are_ advantages to being the adoptive son of a billionaire." Rave tittered uncertain. "Please. I want you to have it." With that she smiled and blushed a second later when Dick put a gentle kiss on her forehead. "Happy birthday."

"Me next!" Garfield yelled presenting her with a rather small box. "I saved the best for last." Raven opened the box and found a long silver chain with a blue dragonfly pendant hanging off of it. "It's sapphire." Garfield explained. "It used to belong to Rita."

"Gar," She kissed him firmly on the lips. "Thank you." She lifted her hair and Garfield secured the clasp. "It's beautiful. I'll take good care of it."

"I knew you would." He smiled lovingly. "Now it's time for cake! C'mon." Garfield pulled her back towards the cake. "You've got to make a wish!"

Raven grinned in spite of herself staring down at the shockingly yellow cake. "Make a wish!" Everyone urged. _I wish things would stay like this for a while._ She thought blowing out her candles.

She couldn't have known this would be one of the Titan's last truly good days for months.

*

"They still don't know?" Jacob questioned the dark haired man who was eyeing a nearby tiger nervously.

"No. They've been trying but to no avail. No one will talk to them. We all know better." He barely suppressed a shudder as the bear growled hungrily.

"Good. We wouldn't want anyone hurt, would we, Patrick?" Trembling the man shook his head no. "Dismissed, I'll send you a message with the time and location of our next rendezvous." Without another word the man fled.

Jacob smiled wolfishly and congratulated himself on how well his plans had worked. It had been just over two weeks and not only were the Titans in a state of near panic, he was well hidden. His multiple spies and personal cameras had told him all he needed to know about the Titans fruitless searching. He was quite literally underground.

In fact less than a week ago they had searched the very warehouse under which he currently hid. Thanks to some rather advanced anti-detection device, as well as being two stories underground, the tin man had been unable to detect his presence hidden safely below.

Now to set his trap.

*

It was Wednesday again. Originally this week would have ended the chats Garfield and Victor had been having after his suicide attempt had come to light, but since Jacob's reappearance Dick had requested they continue. Garfield couldn't say he would have done differently.

"Hey man." Garfield said strolling trough Victor's open door. "What's up."

"Just updating some of my scanners, Wednesday already?" He glanced up absently from his computer at the calendar hanging on the wall.

"Yeah." The green teenager perched on a desk; "I can come back later if you're busy though."

"Nah." Victor said pushing away from his computer. His face broke into a warm smile. "I've always got time to talk." Garfield smiled back gratefully. "What's up?"

"I'm worried about Raven." Victor's face grew serious. "I get that she's worried about me but Jacob's after _her_. She doesn't seem to be paying any mind to the fact that he's _hunting_ her." Garfield felt the Beast stir inside of him. To the Beast it was simple. Jacob was a threat to his pack and his mate. He must be eliminated. Garfield knew it wasn't that simple. "I realize we can't shut her up in the Tower but she could try to be more careful.

"Have you tried talking to her?" Garfield nodded irritably. "I'll try them. But BB, we're all worried about you. Not just about Jacob trying to kidnap you, either. We know this has got to be hard on you emotionally. He represents a pretty shitty period of your life." Victor leaned towards his friend trying to offer comfort. Almost involuntarily it seemed Garfield pressed backwards.

"My nightmares are getting worse." Garfield admitted quietly. "My nightmares are getting worse." He repeated. "But – I don't know what to do." He hunched his shoulders uncomfortably. "There was like, a two week period when they were gone, and now they're back and Jacob is everywhere in them."

"And I'm guessing ya don't want to tell Raven because you don't want to worry her?" Garfield mumbled a reply. "Man," Victor waited for green eyes to meet his. "It's okay to be scared. As long as ya know we're all here for ya. " Mutely Garfield nodded.

Victor pulled his friend into a surprisingly gentle hug. Garfield stiffened for a second before relaxing. "I love ya, BB. Do go makin' yourself sick over this."

Garfield blushed. His habit of getting sick when overly stressed was pretty well known throughout the team. It took a lot to stress the changeling out but when something actually did it was bad. His behavior didn't change; instead his body turned all the stress inwards. Garfield would lose weight, throw up, and even faint on occasion. Looking at his friend's bonier-than-usual face, Victor was worried. Then he remembered yet another side effect of his friend's stress.

"Have you been eating enough?" Victor asked brushing away a voice in his head that was telling him he sounded like his mother. Garfield shrugged. "BB . . ." Victor let it dangle waiting for a response.

"I don't know." He answered. "I guess. I'm eating a least once a day."

Victor took a deep breath resisting the urge to glare at the other boy, "Garfield. You've got to eat regularly, and that means more than one meal a day! You know better than to eat like that when we're training. No wonder you looked so pale in combat practice the other day.

"I'm fine." Garfield said dismissively. "Really." He added when Victor didn't look convinced. He ran a hand over his face looking worn out.

"Alright, Gar." Victor said gently afraid of pushing too far." Just take care of yourself, okay?" Garfield nodded and Victor slung an arm around his shoulders. "Let's get some food."

*

"Raven." The pale teen looked up from her journal, the bay wind pushing gently at her hair.

"Hello, Victor." She said kindly enough but without a smile.

"How's it goin'?" He sat down on the roof next to her. His back was resting comfortably against a wall.

"Fine." Her eyes narrowed a little in suspicion. "Is everything okay?"

"Yeah." He said easily. "I just wanted to talk to ya."

Raven's eyes narrowed even further. "About?"

"You." She looked surprised. "Raven, you're givin' Gar a heat attack. Ya gotta be careful." Raven tried very hard not to roll her eyes. "I'm serious." He said seeing that she looked a little annoyed.

"Victor." Her voice was tightly controlled. "What do you want me to do? I've stopped patrolling alone and I barely leave the Tower these days let alone by myself. He can't protect me from everything! Never mind that he barely taking care of himself."

"C'mon, Rae. You've gotta be able to tell how worried he is."

"Of course I can." She said sounding a little bitter to Victor's surprised ears. "But," Raven shrugged looking helpless. "He's starting to put up a wall. He doesn't want me to know how upset he is. Garfield needs us now more than ever." Raven took a deep shuddering gasp of a breath and when she looked determinedly away at the bay Victor realized she was crying.

"Hey," He said gently, feeling a little alarmed. Victor moved closer to her wrapping an arm around the now shaking girl. "It's alright." Victor didn't know if it was his arm around her or his words but it was the last straw for Raven and she turned into him sobbing.

"I'm sorry." She sniffed trying to compose herself even as the tears started. Raven went to say something else, but almost against her will she started crying harder than ever and whatever she had meant to say was lost in tears. Victor just held her watching for anything that looked like it might explode.

"I'm sorry." She said again almost 10 minutes later. "I must be tired." Raven pulled herself away from Victor taking slow, deep breaths.

"It's alright, Rae." He said one hand on his shoulder. "I think BB may have a point about you needing to take better care of yourself though." Raven nodded looking embarrassed.

"We're gonna get through this, Raven." He said squeezing a shoulder. "Garfield included. It's gonna be fine." Even as he said it though Victor was worried things would get far worse before getting better.

*

_Knock! Knock! Knock!_

"Come in, friend!" Kory called and Raven pushed her friend's door open. Kory was sitting on her bed absently coloring in a felt poster. Garfield had bough her almost 100 for Christmas last year after, apparently, finding a sale and she often passed afternoons stationed somewhere in the Tower determinedly coloring them in. Each Titan had several she had given them after her room had become too full.

"What are you coloring?" Raven asked wishing she didn't feel, and sound, like she had a bad head cold.

"Birds and monkeys." Kory answered. "Boyfriend Dick says it is a scene from the rain forest." She sat up looking at Raven in concern. "Is everything alright?"

Raven smiled at her friend's concern and knew that Victor had been right when he said Kory would cheer her up. "I've just been really worried about Garfield lately. It kind of got to me when I was talking to Victor earlier."

"Oh, friend." Kory beckoned to Raven who came to sit with her on the bed. "We are all deeply worried about your safety as well as Garfield's well being. I am sorry this has been so hard on you, friend."

"I'll be okay though. Garfield's having a terrible- this is so hard for him. Jacob was so cruel to him, Kory. How me must have lived." Raven shook her head. "I know there were worse memories of that time than what Gar showed me." Raven looked up and from the distant look on Kory's face she knew her friend was thinking of her time on the slavers ship. "I'm sorry." Raven said quietly.

"It is fine friend." Kory smiled sadly. "Everything in my life has led me here, and my life now is so wondrous." She brightened right before Raven's eyes.

"It is true," Kory said gently. "That this is hard for Garfield. But friend, this is also difficult for you. You are allowed to be scared, Raven. For life right now is proving to be quite scary." Raven shrugged noncommittally.

"Friend," Kory said firmly. "You are being chased by a madman. You cannot tell me this does not at least concern you. Fear does not make you a coward."

"Yes Kory, I'm scared. But I can't let it be my main emotion."

"Of course not. But that does not mean ignoring it either." Raven nodded. "Come, let us do something fun, friend. Would you like to go to the mall of shopping with me?"

"You know what Kory? I really would. Let's go."

*

Hours later when the girls returned home Raven went looking for Garfield, determined to sort things out. "Gar?" Raven called softly knocking on his door. It opened to reveal a worn looking teenager.

"Hey," He said with a brave attempt at a smile. "What's up?"

"Do you wanna go up to the roof with me? I thought we could look at the stars." She reached out a hand.

"Sure, Rae." His smile was a little stronger as he reached for her outstretched hand.

"Were you sleeping?" She asked him as they stepped into the elevator. Garfield hadn't slept normally in weeks.

"No, I was just listening to music." He answered staring somewhat blankly at the closed elevator doors. "It's a nice night." Garfield said when they reached the roof.

"Yeah, it is." They lay down on the roof floor curled around each other. Sometimes, while on the roof, they would compete to see who could find the most constellations. Lately though neither of them had really felt like it.

"I'm worried about you, Gar." Raven said into his neck as they lay in the quiet. He sighed and moved so that they were facing each other.

"Raven," He said firmly. "I'm _fine._ Stop worrying about me."

"I can't!" Raven said trying to keep her emotions in check. "And don't tell me you're fine. Maybe you can get Victor to leave you alone but I'm not dropping this. Garfield, you're loosing weigh, you're not sleeping, and you're starting to get sick." She scooted closer to him so that they were nose to nose. "How else would I feel?"

"Worried about yourself!" Garfield said earnestly. "Jacob is coming after _you!_ Raven you don't know what he'll do if he catches you." Garfield closed his eyes. "Jacob would hurt you, _really_ hurt you if he got a hold of you."

"But I'm safe." She said gently. "If something happens you have every right to worry yourself sick. But right now, I'm fine." Raven pulled him closer.

"I don't want to lose you." Garfield told her in a trembling voice.

"Then stop pushing us away. You need to lean on us right now and that's okay. No one said you have to get through this alone." Her hand found his. "You are anything but alone right now, Garfield. _Let_ us be here for you. Let us help. Jacob may be out there but he's not _here_ and we are."

"I love you." Garfield whispered clutching at her.

Raven lifted her head from his chest where she had been lying and met his eyes. "I love you too, Gar." She placed a light kiss on his lips. "Regardless of kidnappings or madmen, we're in this together."

What started out as a tender kiss turned into more as Garfield rolled on top of Raven. He looked down at her grinning sharply. His fingers ran down her sides to her hipbones. Raven closed her eyes and smiled when he slipped under the hem of her shirt to graze her hips with first nails then teeth.

They kissed again, slowly this time, letting the feelings build. Her fingers found his hair, then shoulders before hooking into his belt loops. She used them to pull Garfield even closer.

Raven let her teeth graze his jaw line and smiled onto his mouth when his breath caught. She teased him, playfully kissing and biting his neck. She bit and sucked at his collarbone until he moaned in appreciation. Slowly Raven kissed her way back up to his lips. Kissing him deeply one last time she let him pull away.

"My turn." Garfield whispered and that was all the warning that she got. He grabbed Raven's wrists and pinned them above her head with one hand. With his free hand he tilted her chin so she was looking right at him. "I love you, Rae. Now relax." Garfield captured her lips with his and Raven quickly opened her mouth to grant him access.

After a few moments of kidding his free hand had ended up on her stomach. He let go of her wrists and kissed the pale skin that her shirt had ridden up to expose. Garfield kissed his way from the waistband of her jeans to just under her bra pushing the T-shirt up as he went. The Garfield paused letting on finger rest on the ribs still hidden by her shirt.

"Rae?" He asked, his face plainly saying whatever she decided was fine.

Raven looked into his loving eyes and nodded. "Go ahead." She told him sounding a little breathless.

"Should we – do you want to go to your room? Or mine?" The idea of what Dick would say if he found them on the roof did not bear thinking.

Raven nodded muttering under her breath and they phased into her room. Her candles lit and a soft click told him the door was locked. "Cool trick." He said kissing her neck. Her only response was to push him away slowly reaching for the hem of his shirt. Once it was off Garfield touched the hem of her shirt gingerly. Slowly, savoring every second, he pulled Raven's T-shirt off.

Raven lay her head back on the pillows and bit her lip shyly. It only made her more beautiful to Garfield. His eyes traveled to her mostly bare chest. She was wearing a jean colored bra that had dark blue lace around the cups and band. His fingers ran down from her collarbone to the space between her breasts and there was a sharp intake of air from Raven.

Garfield kissed her jaw as one finger traced her bra, his nail grazing the sensitive skin. Careful not to slip under the soft fabric he let his fingers dance across the tops of her breasts.

The he kissed her and as Raven pushed her hips off the bed to meet his he pushed back unconsciously trying to get closer. Raven wrapped her arms around him bringing them as close together as they could be. "I love you, Gar." Her breath was warm against his ear.

He nuzzled into her shoulder. "I love you too, Raven." He pushed himself up to look at her gently touching her face. "Please be careful. Please."

Raven laid her hand over Garfield's. "I will, I promise Gar." He rolled off of her and lay on the bed. Raven pressed against him, his arms automatically encircling her. It was like this they slipped into sleep.

*

The next morning Raven woke up just after 10. Garfield still had his arms wrapped around her but he looked troubled. Raven gently laid her hand on his cheek and his eyes flew open as he instinctively gripped her closed.

"Morning," he mumbled seeing her. Garfield kissed her forehead. "Sorry, I was dreaming."

"Is everything okay?" Raven asked worried.

"Everything's fine. Scouts honor." He smiled and Raven smiled back in spite of herself, "Breakfast?"

"Sure. Uh – " She looked embarrassed. "Where did you throw my shirt last night?" Garfield glanced around the room then sat up and began rooting near the bed.

"Here it is!" He said from the end of the bed throwing something over his shoulder at Raven. "And here's mine!" Triumphant he slipped the shirt back on. "M'lady." Garfield bowed her to the door and Raven grabbed the collar of his shirt pulling him along.

*

"Good morning." Dick said from his seat at the table.

"Oh friends, glorious morning greetings!" Kory greeted them before taking a bite of her breakfast.

"Morning." Raven said heading for the teapot.

"Good morning." Garfield said cheerfully stopping next to the table. "Uh, Kor, are you eating CinnaCrunch cereal in _mustard_?"

"Yes!" Kory replied brightly. "It is a most delicious combination. Would you like some"

"No thanks," Garfield smiled heading for his own cereal and soymilk. Victor came in a few minutes later and before long everyone was sitting at the table eating.

"Hey, Raven." Dick popped the last of his bacon into his mouth. "I wanted to ask you something." Raven made an inquisitive noise. "How would you feel about wearing a tracking device?"

"Pardon me?" Raven was sure she had misheard him.

"A tracking device." Everyone was staring at Dick but he was only watching Raven. "We all believe that we're going to catch Jacob, and we will. I think we'll do it before he tries anything too, but incase we don't, if something goes wrong, I want to make sure we can find you."

"Couldn't friend Raven just activate the device herself should something happen?" Kory asked looking unsure.

"No," Raven answered. "I may not be able to get to it if I'm kidnapped, this way it'll always be on." She looked at Dick. "You won't use it unless I get kidnapped?" She asked in a fit of paranoia. He nodded quickly. "Okay, then."

Dick smiled and held out a small T shaped pin. "Thanks Raven."

"Gar, could you put this on my necklace clasp" She touched the sapphire pendant. "It'll be harder to find." Raven leaned forward and pulled her hair away from her neck. "Are there any new leads?" She asked looking back up.

"No." Victor said. He had been getting increasingly frustrated lately with their lack of findings. "Dick, we need to go back out there. _Today._ He's somewhere in the city, we just need to keep looking."

"I know," Dick answered looking worn. "We'll split into two groups." He said looking around the table. "Raven you go with Kory and Victor. Garfield, you'll be with me. You two are the obvious targets so I don't want you in the same group."

"When are we leaving?" Kory asked finishing her cereal. Dick checked his watch. "Two hours. 12:30 sharp." Everyone put their dishes in the sink and went upstairs.

*

Just under two hours later Raven came back downstairs freshly showered and in a clean uniform. The necklace Garfield had given her with the tracking device safely attached was tucked under her leotard out of sight.

"Ready?" Dick asked as Garfield came in. When everyone nodded he pulled a map of Jump City up on the screen. "Each team will take half the city. _Search everywhere._ Talk to everyone you see. We're looking for answers not bullshit."

He turned to the map drawing a line on the screen with a special marker that would disappear when the screen changed. "Raven, Kory, and Victor, take the north side of town. Root through the bars and clubs. Kory, don't drink anything someone gives you unless Raven or Victor say it's okay," This wasn't Gotham and Dick knew that but he wasn't taking any chances either. Not all of the bars were reputable, and in true Batclan fashion he felt it was better to be safe than sorry.

"There are a few strip clubs down there. Go in them but be _quick_. Talk to all the employees you can but stay in the back of the house. It should be almost deserted this time of day on a Thursday but the last thing we need is for a reporter to see you.

"Gar, you and I will take the south side and go through the warehouses. I'm counting on that nose of yours.

"Okay guys, let's go. Good luck. _Be careful_. Try not to get separated and use your communicators if you get in trouble. Come home once you're done."

*

"Friends." Raven and Kory were flying Victor and Kory gripping one another's arms. "What is a 'strip club'?" Raven and Victor exchanged looks and Raven groaned in defeat.

*

"I smell something." Garfield said over three hours into the search resuming his own form. "But," He sniffed the air again. "I don't think it's him. There are traces of him though. Where'd it – wait! There it is." He turned into a bloodhound and whuffed excitedly. Garfield looked up at Dick and whined pointing his head to a group of warehouses nearby.

I'm going to get above street level. I'll follow you." Dick spoke slowly and clearly giving Garfield enough time to translate. When the green animal gave a very undog like nod Dick shot a grappling hook out of sight and was gone.

Dick followed him from rooftop to rooftop feeling the rush of adrenaline in his system. After weeks of being useless and coming up empty handed they may actually _have_ something.

He felt a small pang of disappointment when Garfield's nose led them to an average looking man with sandy hair who was locking a door behind him. It was quickly swept away as he remembered on of Bruce's earliest lessons. _Normal people go unnoticed_. Jacob would have plenty of people working for him including those people who could blend in easily. Dick grinned and waited for Garfield.

The man nearly jumped out of his skin when Garfield barked cheerfully. He spun around, gun in hand, and visibly relaxed when he saw nothing but a dog. A green dog, but a dog nonetheless. Dick heard a _click_ as he put the safety back in place and the gun retreated into its holster.

"Hey there. What're ya doin' out here boy?" He got down on one knee to scratch Garfield's ears and Dick crept into place. "Kinda weird lookin' for a dog." Garfield licked his face forcing him to back up the final step Dick needed. "Friendly though."

Dick leapt staying completely silent. He slapped a gloved hand over the man's eyes a split second before his feet hit the ground. As he jumped Garfield had abandoned his dog shape returning to normal. Using a pressure point to keep him from fighting Dick maneuvered until the man had his back against the wall.

"What's your name?" Dick snarled. Garfield took the gun from inside the man's coat casually dumping bullets into his hand.

"Jeremy." He was impressed. His voice barely shook. "I don't have any money."

Now Dick laughed and realized he sounded more like Batman than ever. Beneath his grasp Jeremy trembled. "I don't want your money." He breathed into Jeremy's ear. "I want answers."

"I wouldn't push Robin if I were you." Garfield said lightly leaning next to Jeremy on the wall. "He's been known to fly into a rage. But then again," He shrugged his shoulders even though the terrified man couldn't see him. "So have I." Garfield had tucked the bullets into a pocket and was examining the gun lazily.

"Robin?" Jeremy whispered the name like a curse. "So the dog was – you – you're Beast Boy?" Whatever color was left in his face drained. "Oh, _fuck_." He was shaking like a leaf and Dick was forced to assess if he was having a panic attack. "Fuck, guys, let me go, please."

"I don't think so, Jeremy." Garfield said cheerfully. "You can't imagine how hard we've been looking for you. It's very difficult to track one of you down. I must say, I'm impressed."

Please, ya don't know what Jacob'll _do_ – "

"Actually, we wanted to talk to you about your boss." Dick said before Garfield could make any angry comments about exactly how familiar he was with Jacob's anger. "We have a number of questions for him but," He was slipping between the Dark Knight and the Boy Wonder. It surprised him how comfortable it felt. "He's never available and we've been hoping you could answer a few of them."

"I can't!" Jeremy insisted. "Let me go, please!"

"I told you already, no can do." Garfield gave him a friendly pat on the shoulder.

"Please." He begged.

"Listen very closely." Dick said drawing on years of roaming Gotham streets when anyone sane was safe in bed behind locked doors. "You know who I am and you know where I'm from. Don't think I haven't learned a few things from my partner in Gotham.

"You _will_ answer my questions. Or I will make you regret every day of your life." He paused before going on in a much more sinister voice. "One, by, one." Even Gar was a little scared.

"I don't know anything!" The man insisted. Dick sighed and removed his hand from the man's eyes. He slowed the other hand just long enough for Jeremy to realize Dick's fist was propelling towards his stomach.

"You know something." He said shortly as the other man wheezed out a shaky breath. "So talk."

"Why is Jacob after Raven?" Garfield growled.

"I don't _know._" The man sobbed. "And before you asked I don't know where his hide-out is. It changes! We never meet him in the same place twice" He hurried on as Dick grabbed his collar.

"What _can_ you tell us?" Garfield asked in a voice that suggested he had better think of something quick. Dick lifted the man off the ground.

"I can tell you the last place we met." Jeremy choked out. Dick let his tiptoes touch the pavement.

"I'm listening." The Boy Wonder ground out.

"Around here. Under warehouse 54."

"What do you mean 'under'?" Garfield asked. "How do we _get_ there?"

"Behind warehouse 53 is an old toxic waste container. But it's a fake. You drop through it and land in a room with no doors or windows." Garfield and Dick exchanged looks. They had found this room a week ago with Victor, but that was it. "There's a little dot in one of the corners. Shine a laser pointer at it and spell 'mission' in Morse code. It opens to another room _below_ that one and you're in.

"Will any laser pointer work?" Dick asked roughly.

"I – I think so. I've been using this." He pulled out a key chain laser pointer that Garfield took. Dick let Jeremy go and he fell to his knees.

"When was this meeting?" Garfield pressed.

"Tuesday." It was barely a whisper. They exchanged another look, two days ago.

"What were you locking up just now?" Dick asked. He needed to get back to the Tower and think, talk this over with everyone.

"I was hiding some tech Jacob got off Gizmo. He said it might not work but that it was worth a shot. He never said was it was and since I like _living _I didn't ask."

"Give me the key." Dick said in a deadly voice. Jeremy fished it out of his pocket. "Is this the only copy?" The sandy haired man nodded. "Get out of here. Talk about this and there'll be trouble." Jeremy ran before the words had died from Dick's lips.

"Well aren't _you _terrifying." Garfield said suppressing a chuckle. Dick gave him a look.

"Let's see what's in here. Hopefully we'll be able to take it with us and get home." He said unlocking the door. Inside was what appeared to be a small ray gun. Other than that the room was completely empty. "Do you have any idea what this is?" He asked Garfield.

"No clue." Gar looked at it. "I'm sure Victor will figure it out." Dick nodded. "Come on," Garfield stretched his arms. "I'll fly us home."

"Thanks." Dick was preoccupied. "We've got a lot to figure out."

*

Jacob snapped a computer monitor off making sure to leave the camera who's footage he had been watching recording. Luckily that piece of technology from Gizmo hadn't been crucial.

There were too few good crooks in Jump City to justify killing Jeremy. However a few months in a hospital bed should get the message across quite clearly. He was not a man to be trifled with.

Maybe he could even upset the Titans in the bargain.

*

"I do not understand why I could not partake in dancing with that man." Kory protested as they left yet another dark bar in favor of the bright sunlight.

"We'll explain later." Victor said staring at a man who had walked out of another bar.

"But friends!" Raven leaned over and whispered into her friend's ear. "Oh, I see." Kory narrowed her eyes briefly.

"Let's move it you guys." Victor yelled taking off. The man he's been watching had seen him and run.

After two and a half-hours of looking around they knew the area well enough to split up and be confident their end place would be the same. "I have him!" Kory called from the left of both Raven and Victor. When they reached her she was holding a struggling dark haired man with apparent ease. He looked strong but not strong enough.

"I've got him." Raven told her surrounding the young man tightly with her magic. Kory flew back to them surreptitiously rubbing her hands on the skirt of her uniform. Closer inspection showed the man was covered in dirt.

"Hello there," Victor said as friendly as could be. "You gotta name?"

"Patrick." The dark haired man spit out. A nod from Raven showed he wasn't lying.

"Nice to meet you Patrick. Or have we met before?" Victor asked kindly. "Do you have any warrants you might not want us too know about?"

"No." Patrick said coolly. Raven nodded again, he was still telling the truth.

"Then why run?" Kory asked wondering if he might truly be innocent.

"Costumes usually mean trouble." He answered distastefully. "Hot stuff." Patrick added raking his eyes over Kory's body. She threw him a disgusted look but refused to cross her arms to cover herself.

"Didn't your mother ever teach you how to talk to a lady?" Victor asked as Raven slammed the man against a wall. "Be polite to Starfire. You'd hate to see what happens otherwise."

"My apologies." He said staring at Raven now. Raven stared back looking supremely unimpressed. "I don't want any trouble."

"Neither do we." Victor said. "Just answer a few questions for us. Know anyone named Jacob?"

"My cousin Jacob works down at the docks." Patrick sneered.

"Don't be an ass." Raven said in a low voice. "Of course you know the Jacob we're talking about. Everyone in this town does."

"I've heard of him." He allowed.

"We're thinking you've more than just heard of him." Victor said getting a little too close for Patrick's comfort. "We're thinking you probably work for him."

Patrick shrugged. "Everyone who's on the wrong side of the law in Jump works for Jacob. I'm afraid I don't know anything else."

Victor glanced at Raven who was starring at Patrick. Every instinct she had screamed he was lying but her powers only detected truthful thoughts. There was nothing else she could do unless she went into his mind and Raven wouldn't use her powers that way.

Beneath her gaze Patrick cocked a grin at Raven as if she was considering sleeping with him, not his innocence. "He's telling the truth." She said reluctantly.

"Looks like it's your lucky day. We'll be keeping an eye out for you though. Just in case we have more questions." A scream broke through Victor's voice. "Duty calls, ladies. Let's go."

*

"It worked?" Jacob questioned figuring the tiger pendant around Patrick's neck.

"For the most part." Patrick answered looking nervously at his boss. Jacob raised a single eyebrow and the darker man hastened to explain. "The Empath seemed unsure if I was lying or not at times, but she let me go in the end."

"So, some fine tuning is needed," Jacob mused. "Well done," He turned his attention back to the man before him.

"I suppose it's true," Patrick said quietly. "Empaths really are protected from each other. If you don't mind me asking, sir, how did you find pieces of the same jewel her Chakra is made of?"

Jacob didn't answer for a moment and Patrick was terrified he had gone too far. "Once the Cult of Brother Blood learned of my plan they were eager to help however they could. The idiots." He sneered.

"You did a much better job than some." He cast a careless glance as the huddled pile of person several feet away. "I need you to make a delivery." Jacob said delicately. "The address won't be hard to find."

*

"What does it do?" Garfield asked eyeing the ray gun that lay on the dining room table they were al seated at.

"Give me a minute!" Victor let the sensors on his bionic arm scan the gun. "Well," He said as a small _beep_ signaled the sensors were done. "It looks like it's used to make force fields. It wouldn't be too hard to box someone in and trap them. But," He looked at the scan's results again. "It looks pretty weak. You probably could have broken through it with a bit of effort, Raven."

"That's what Jeremy meant." Dick said looking at Garfield. "_He said it may not work_. Jacob knew it wouldn't work. So either he's floundering and can't find anything else or this was a fail safe if everything went to hell."

"It was the back up." Garfield said in a hallow voice. "Jacob has something else up his sleeve. He'd never rely on something Gizmo didn't even trust enough to try on us." Raven took his hand and Garfield smiled weakly.

"I think Jacob may be researching a way to block my telepathy." Raven said hesitantly into the silence. Everyone looked at her. "Today when we caught Patrick, there were times I could have sworn he was lying. But all of his thoughts felt true, they didn't have the sense of effort lies should."

"Maybe he is a most accomplished liar." Kory suggested but Raven shook her head.

"Lies _feel_ different. No matter how good the liar, it takes effort to lie. The only problem is that I don't know of anything that can block my powers."

"I'll look into it," Dick promised. "Maybe Bruce has heard something."

A loud _bring!_ interrupted everyone's thoughts. "Is that the _door_?" Garfield asked incredulously.

The Titans _had_ a doorbell. But in almost four years of being a team it had only been used twice. Once it was some teenager boys who thought it would be a fun prank (they soon figured out that was a mistake when Dick and Victor caught them.) The second time it had been an incredibly brave 7-year-old Girl Scout who wanted to sell them cookies.

"Oh! Maybe it is the Girl Scouts once more with their delicious cookies!" Kory said excitedly. "I will go see!"

Kory flew down stairs and opened the door already talking. "Hello! I would love to buy some of the minty thin coo- " She stopped. Someone was leaving Titans Island in a boat. "Sir?" She called. A groan at her feet made her look down.

Kory screamed. "Sir!" Lying as her feet was a sandy haired man. He had been badly beaten and though Kory was not one of their medics she was sure at least a few bones were broken and she was positive his head should not be bleeding like that either.

"Can you hear me, sir?" Kory crouched next to him as the man groaned feebly. "I am going to pick you up and bring you to our medical area." She explained looking for a way to move him without causing any more pain.

Kory took out her communicator. "Friends! We have an emergency, meet me in the Med Lab!"

"Are you okay?" Dick's voice crackled urgently.

"Yes friends I am not harmed. Someone else has been though."

"We'll meet you there, Star." Victor assured her.

"Affirmative." Kory put her communicator away. "I am most sorry new friend. I fear this may hurt most grievously. I will try to be careful." As gently as possible Kory gathered the man in her arms cradling him. He cried out in pain and Kory saw a puddle of blood on the ground where he had been laying. "Oh friend." She said sadly flying back inside.

*

"What's wrong?" Victor asked as soon as the door opened. They all stared seeing the man she carried. "Who is that?" He demanded, concerned,

"I do not know. He did not share his name with me. Somebody left him here and then left in a boat." Kory laid their patient on the bed, he groaned softly.

"Sir?" Raven neared the bed. "Can you tell me what happened?" He struggled to speak. "I'm sorry?"

"Jacob." He said in a cracked voice.

Dick peered at the man. "Jeremy?" He asked softly. The main nodded wincing as he moved his head. Dick swallowed convulsively. "Did he do this to you? As punishment for talking to us?" Jeremy nodded again tears of pain springing to his eyes.

"Raven, Cyborg," Dick said letting them all know the need to stay professional. "Take care of him. Starfire, Beast Boy, we need to go – " Dick stopped abruptly. Garfield was starring at Jeremy looking blankly horrified. "Beast Boy?"

Garfield tore his gaze away from the bleeding man to stare at Dick with wide, terrified eyes. He was starting to take deep, gulping breaths like a drowning man. In an instant Raven was at his side her hands cradling his face.

"Breathe." Raven murmured. Garfield's hands crept over hers. "Just breathe, Gar. Nice, calm breaths." She looked over at Dick. "We'll be back in a few minutes. Cyborg," Victor slowly moved his gaze from Garfield to Raven. "He has three broken ribs and a sprained wrist at least. I didn't even look at his head, but I'm sure there's more." Victor nodded turning back to the bed where Jeremy lay.

"Garfield," She said as soon as they got into the hallway. "Just breath. You're okay." Raven pulled him into her arms and he was shaking now. "It's okay, Garfield." He was starting to cry but it seemed the worse was almost over. "I love you." She whispered.

He clung desperately to her for a few minutes and then began to pull away. "I'm sorry." Garfield said quietly.

"This isn't your fault." Raven told him firmly. "All of this is on Jacob." Raven ran a hand through his hair as she looked at the closed door to the Med Lab. "Are you ready to go back in?"

"Let's go." He said taking a deep breath.

"Beast Boy?" Dick questioned as they walked back through the door.

"What did you need me to do Robin?" Garfield asked firmly.

"You, Starfire, and I need to go to Meeting Room 1." Dick motioned to Kory and they headed for the door and the Evidence Level two floors below. "Cyborg, Raven, let us know when you have an update."

"Will do," Cyborg assured them carefully cutting Jeremy's shirt off to check for more damage.

"You okay?" Dick worried once they were on the stairs.

"I'm fine." Garfield assured them both. "We've got to be more careful about questioning people though. I should have known Jacob would be having at least a few of his people watched." They reached the meeting room and went in.

"Friend," Kory put her hands on his shoulders. "Do not put yourself in pain like this. You did not hurt Jeremy. You will _not_ behave as if you have. This is what Jacob wants, Garfield. For us to worry and blame ourselves when it is he who is responsible!"

"Kory's right Gar." Dick told him sitting down. "I feel terrible Jeremy's in so much pain but it isn't our fault." He drummed his finger on the table. "We may have to start taking people who talk to us into protective custody though. Imagine if he had told us something huge . . ."

"He did though," Garfield pointed out. "He told us where one of the meeting places is. Or was. If Jacob knows Jeremy talked to us, he'll know what Jeremy said. How are we supposed to go check out the warehouse now?"

With a groan Dick put his head on the table. "We're going to have to really plan this," He said looking back up. "If Jacob's getting rid of any evidence it'll be happening right now, but we can't afford to just rush in there. I'll have to think about it. Victor should be able to help me find a way to check it out safely."

Dick pealed his mask off and leaned back in his chair running a hand over his face. "I think we can all agree that Jeremy should stay in the Med Lab until he's recovered?" Kory and Garfield nodded. "We'll move him into protective custody after that."

Kory sat next to Dick who reached for her hand. She placed her free hand on his knee and her boyfriend visibly began to relax. "Are you sure you're okay, Gar?"

"Yes." Garfield said firmly. "I haven't had panic attacks in year. I just wasn't prepared. It won't happen again."

"Hey," Dick said trying to be kind yet strong about this. "You're not the only person here who's had panic attacks. We're not judging you, man. Not by a long shot."

"Please, friends, what is a panic attack?" Garfield opened his mouth to answer but stopped as Dick started explaining.

"A panic attack is when your body goes into an involuntary over drive, Kory. At lot of people liken it to having a heart attack. Do you remember when I explained flight or fight to you?" The alien princess nodded slowly.

"This is an extreme version of flight. It," He quieted for a moment. "It feels like you can't breathe and everything is crashing in and your chest is so heavy but it's hallow too as if someone is crushing you and tearing you apart all at once." He shook his head ruefully. "Does that make any sense, Kor?"

"Yes," Kory said slowly. "Tameran fought a great war once. The planet we fought was – terrible. They were truly horrible even to one another and often ate the dead after battles, enemy or not. Many of our bravest warriors had trouble readjusting once they came home.

"Friend Garfield," Kory moved her hand from Dick's leg to Garfield's shoulder. "Is there anything we can do to help with these panic attacks? We would like to help!" She said earnestly.

"Just don't leave me alone, don't walk away, and I'll be fine, Kory." Garfield hugged her and she returned the hug enthusiastically. "Thank you." He said looking over her shoulder at Dick. Garfield communicator beeped as he and Kory separated. He flipped the screen open to see Victor's face.

"Hey guys, Jeremy's stable and sleeping. You wanna come up?"

"We'll be up in a second." Garfield assured him.

*

"Well you guys already know about the broken ribs and his wrist, but Raven was right, there was more. He's also got a mild concussion that's the result of the skull fracture he has. There was also some bruising around his kidneys, probably from being kicked repeatedly but Raven's fixed that. His knee is pretty badly bruised but no broken bones aside from the ribs." He glanced over his shoulder to where Raven was healing a sleeping Jeremy's back. "And, well, it looks like he has whiplashes all over his back. Raven checking for internal damage, but it looks like it may just been skin deep."

"They're from a horse whip." Garfield said quietly not looking at anyone. "Unless something's changed, it's a horse whip." Raven's magic faltered for just a second before she went on silently healing. "It – it hurts like hell but he'll be okay. There won't even be scars." He finally looked at them to see that Victor looked sick to his stomach. Next to him Kory's eyes were glowing with anger. "It's fine you guys." Garfield tried to assure them.

"No," Dick said hoarsely. "It's not. But it will be." He promised looking at Jeremy.


End file.
